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Toddlers: 24 Months+
LSU628
member
So sad and confused
LSU628
member
DD"s teacher called me today from school. She wants to move DD up to the next class, as she is academically ready. She knows all of her numbers, can sound out and read up to 4-letter words, and mentally is ready for more difficult work. However, the teacher's reservation (and very fairly so) is DD's PTing. Right now she is in a room, with a bathroom, with 2 sometimes 3 adults to watch for signs and get her to the bathroom in time. The next class doesn't have a bathroom actually in the room and only has 2 adults so the aide can't spend the whole day running DD back and forth to the bathroom. DD is so inconsistent with her PTing. Last week she went 3 days in a row with no accidents, yesterday was good, today she had 3. The teacher in the next room asked if I would consider putting her back into a pullup. DD treats a pullup like a diaper so I would really not go backwards. I'm just so torn. Do I let her stay in the 2/3 class where they can work more with her on PTing but she won't be getting as much "education" for lack of a better word, or do I put her in a pullup and let her get more of the skills her teacher thinks she can handle and needs? Right now the teacher has agreed to let DD go over there for about a week on a trial basis, but the 1/2 days she was there today she had 2 accidents. :-(
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Re: So sad and confused
If it were me, I would keep her in that class. The school year has just begun, so you can always move her up later on once she is fully PT'd. Physical development is just as important as cognitive, and I would be afraid it might hurt her emotionally if she were to move up into a class with older kids and then keep having accidents. It might even push back PTing even more. And, I agree with not using a pull-up.
It seems like at this age they are all in preschool anyways, without the rigorous standards of K-12, so you can just wait until she's in "real" school (for lack of a better term) to start thinking about gifted, advanced, etc.
I looked at several preschools for DD, and I ended up choosing that one that is the most laid back, even though I think she can handle more academically. She's still getting plenty of education, but I just felt like she will be pushed hard for 13 years of her life starting in kindergarten, so I'm okay with taking it easy for now.
She's only 3 so I'd put academics behind PTing at this point and keep her in the 2/3 class until she has PTing figured out.
Does she like the new class? If so could you use that to push her to do better with PTing? Tell her that once she doesn't have any accidents she can go to,the new class? Or some other bribe (new toy or treat she's been wanting) if she's accident free for X number of days and have a sticker chart?
Ultimately she will get PTing but I think it should take precedence right now.
How do they handle bathroom breaks? DD just got moved up from the toddler room to the preschool room a few weeks ago. She was barely PT'd when they suggested the move. I was a bit nervous since they don't have a potty chair in the room but turns out they take the entire class to the bathrooms every hour. Once I knew that I was confident things will be fine and I was right. DD has not had one accident since transitioning.
If that class has a similar bathroom schedule you might want to consider moving her up since she may start to get bored in the toddler room. I know DD was since she was one of the oldest kids in the toddler room by the time she moved. If they don't have a schedule like that then I would say keep her in her current room until she's confident with her PT-ing.
I agree with this 100%. This is what I would to.
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Totally agree w/ the others, I think academics can take a backseat at age 3.
The other thing that I think hasn't been discussed, and I'm not sure of the age of the kids in the other room & what your DD is like, is the social aspect. When my kids moved into the 3 yr old room just before they turned 3, there were a number of girls close to turning 4 who just couldn't move up yet b/c of space/timing. For the month or so they were still in there, I saw the social differences in girls--- the older girls were calling DD a baby (granted she does have relatively short hair b/c it is taking forever to grow in), telling her they were her mommy, pretending like she couldnt talk or walk, etc. DD is a very good talker, large vocabulary, very assertive but at first she thought it was fun & I could already see how she was 'looking up' to the older girls...but quickly the sentiment seemed to change and she was sad when she would say they called her a baby, etc. I talked to the teachers & they said they had actually started addressing it with the older girls and I talked to DD about how she needed to either walk away and play with other kids or tell the girls it was not nice to call her a baby because she is not a baby, etc. ...once those girls moved out & the kids were all within more of a range of each other, all those behaviors stopped.
So just one more thing to consider- 1 year in terms of social development can make a big difference even in kids with 'academic' skills.
I agree with all this. At this age academics is important, but not more than development across the board. Plus if she's smart, and above the class, she'll build confidence! A good teacher would find ways to challenge her without moving her. GL!
Another agreement here too. Academics really even out as they get older, so for me the most important part of preschool is learning the routine and the social aspects. DD1 didn't start reading in school until a few months into kindergarten. I think she would have been so bored if we had pushed her academically earlier.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
Keep her in for now--- you can always move later but it's harder to move back.
WE had a similar issue except he couldn't get moved up with his buddies until he was totally PT'd. So we did the 3-day over a long weekend and he did REALLY well. Explain to her the issues--- sometimes we take for granted they they do "get" it--we just need to explain and give them motivation.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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Notes:
Your child's social, emotional and physical development are far more important at this age than her academic development. Yes, she may be ahead academically, but socially and emotionally, she's probably still very much on the level of a child just under the age of 3. At this point, I'd leave her in the age appropriate class and give her the chance of being successful with potty training, as well as, interacting with children her own age.
Separate question:
Would you eventually allow your daughter to skip a grade level?
ETA: Sorry, I just saw that your daughter is 3, for some reason I was thinking she was just under. My apologies!