There's gotta be another way!!!

yssej7 · September 2012

Yes another sleep post : Sry Hmm

I have created the habit of rocking and feeding my DD who's almost 10mo to sleep.. I have the "if it aint broke,don't fix it" attitude.. Getting her to sleep isn't really the problem (most of the time) Naps are usually 40mins to an hour. She sleeps through the night but I "dream feed" her.. If I dont dream feed her she'll wake around 5am..Naps lately(the last month or so) have been a nightmare/ I'll spend 45mins rocking her and when I put her in her crib she wakes and I rock her all over again.. After rocking her and putting her down 3-4-5 times I give up and let her stay awake.. I'm not a fan of CIO it just brakes my heart and I feel that is a last resort sort of thing.. Sometimes when she does wake at night I'll let her "fuss it out" and she'll go back to sleep so I know it IS possible.. There just has to be some other ways.. I know all will involve some crying but I want the least of that as possible.. If I continue to rock her to sleep all the time : how long will this last? Will she grow out of it or will I be shacking it up in her dorm room at collage? I'm exhausted (mentally) I've been doing this for 10 months! What gets me the most is that "I KNOW" all she wants is for me to hold her. I cant stand letting her CIO when I know if I just go in there and rock her she'll go to sleep (most of the time)..g

Any suggestions? Anyone still rock and feed LO to sleep?

mben1119 · September 2012

I don't rock Ds to sleep but we lay down together until he falls asleep then I put him in his crib. Sometimes he wakes back up and we have to start again, but this is happening more infrequently. I won't CIO. I wish I had advice but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

brighteyes2123 · September 2012

I don't have any suggestions either, the last few nights I've tried rubbing LO's back while he lays in his crib, but I only do it between 5 and 10 mins... I'd try longer, however, I have arthritis in my knees and hips and possibly my back. So honestly, rocking or comforting him by holding him is a little easier.

GibsonGirl620 · September 2012

Read Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It has a wealth of info to explain why your LO sleeps the way she does. Basically, you have inadvertently taught her that the only way to go to sleep at night is to be rocked. You don't have to do CIO, but I would highly suggest reading the book and then making a plan from there... GL!

sabriel1 · September 2012

Not sure if they stop on thier own but I do know that my Aunt had to rock my cousin to sleep until he was 4

CLL1001 · September 2012

GibsonGirl620:
Read Ferber's book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It has a wealth of info to explain why your LO sleeps the way she does. Basically, you have inadvertently taught her that the only way to go to sleep at night is to be rocked. You don't have to do CIO, but I would highly suggest reading the book and then making a plan from there... GL!

I agree with this. I rocked/nursed DD to sleep until about 7 months. Ever since reading ferbers book and following his plan (I was totally against CIO until I read his book) DD has been sleeping through the night every night (with the occasional exception due to teething, etc.). Naps were still a struggle for a little while but eventually just kinda fell into place. Like PP said though, even if you don't want to follow the program, at least read the book so you'll understand why...

brewcitybride · September 2012

Don't rock her so long. Feed her and rock her and put her down and try that. She might fuss for you, but if she is fed and needs a nap, you need to teach her that you will not rock her for 45 minutes anymore.

blu-eyedwife · September 2012

They figure it out on their own. You will not be rocking her in college Wink

All babies are different, remember? I feel like that mantra is repeated time and again on TB, but no one seems to realize it applies to sleep also. And some babies get it sooner than others.

At daycare, my guy puts himself to sleep for naps. The DCP puts him on his cot, covers him with a blanket, and that kid is OUT for 2 hours. At home, he likes a little holding. When he's tired, I just have to pick him up, and bring him to his room. He snuggles against my chest and is out in the time it takes for me to sing him a song. Then I pop him in his crib and we're good to go.

At night-time we kind of nurse to sleep, but only so that he has a nice full tummy before bed. He used to fall asleep while nursing/getting a bottle from DH, but then he started kind of putting himself to sleep that way too. He pushes away from me or the bottle, rolls over on the boppy, and goes to sleep. (Recently he doesn't even always stay awake for the milk, sometimes he falls asleep during the bedtime story) Again, pop him in the crib and he's out for the night. He'll wake up during the night, and unless he's teething or sick, he puts himself right back to sleep. (With the exception of one wake sometime between 2 and 6 where he eats and goes right back to sleep)

So without any sort of training, or crying, or even fussing my kid can put himself to sleep, and put himself back to sleep. And I don't think he's magic or special. I think it's just a matter of letting him develop on his own schedule.

iverske9 · September 2012

You should read either Ferber or Sleep Easy Solution (we used it) and learn why or why not LO may or may not have to CIO. I think there is a misconception on CIO but until you read the whole book it will seem cruel, etc but the books do not think CIO for hours is correct or ok. It will go over the plan that will work for you. Hope whatever you do you get more sleep momma, because we all need it

Nwlywed07 · September 2012

We still rock to sleep for naps and bedtime. He gets a bottle at each of those times (we have issues getting enough formula in him though!). Lately though he has been pushing himself away from me after he is finished eating and is nearly asleep. I just lay him down now and he rolls over with his blanket and monkey and goes to sleep.

Each baby is different and develops at their own rate. Right now they are developing so quickly, teething a lot and dealing with separation anxiety so also agree that sleep training should wait until after their first birthday. I've heard of other bumpies having an easier transition after a year. Plus, you've been going this long, what's a few more months? You'll miss it before you know it.

b.heather · September 2012

I was all for CIO with DD becuase she was a terrible sleeper. DS will nurse to sleep BUT I'm still getting up 2-3 times a night to nurse him back to sleep. So, I feel your pain! I need to just suck it up and do CIO because I know it works (we used it with DD) but I'm just dreading it. I know it is the best thing for him - it's harder on us as mamas then on them.

GibsonGirl620 · September 2012

I think the key here is to do what works for your family. Rocking worked, but now it doesn't anymore. We went through the same thing. When you are ALL losing sleep and getting stressed, then it's time to find a new solution. CIO was my last resort, but I realized that a few nights of frustrated tears was better than what we were going through on a nightly basis. Now everyone is well rested and happier.
ETA: After doing CIO, I am still able to nurse and rock my LO before bed. The difference is that he will snuggle right in when I put him down to sleep. He knows how to fall asleep in his bed on his own and is content in doing so. It's a wonderful way to end the day.

awollenweber · September 2012

GibsonGirl620:
I think the key here is to do what works for your family. Rocking worked, but now it doesn't anymore. We went through the same thing. When you are ALL losing sleep and getting stressed, then it's time to find a new solution. CIO was my last resort, but I realized that a few nights of frustrated tears was better than what we were going through on a nightly basis.

100% agree with this. After reading Ferber (even though I didn't use his method), it's clear that the child needs to fall asleep under the same conditions that he/she will experience all night long. For us, that was no bottle, no rocking and later, no paci.

To avoid a full on CIO, we gradually reduced the amount of rocking time slowly each night. That produced some fussing, but not screaming, like attempts at CIO had. Getting it under 5min was great success for us. Later when we ditched the paci (at 11mo), we did a semi-CIO, and the max fussy period was 30 minutes for 3 days. It's now been 3 months and he hasn't woken up a single time at night... totally worth it.

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