Picky eater is making dinner time awful!

Linds21 · September 2012

I think it's more of DS being 3 and difficult rather than him being picky but dinner time has gotten ridiculous! I always try to make at least one thing I know he'll eat, but he just started getting really difficult.. One week he likes meatloaf, the next week he doesnt.. blah blah blah... I never know what he's going to throw a fit about! He plays, get's up from the table (no matter how much we try to make him stay), lets his food get cold and then freaks out that he needs it warm....

What are your rules for the dinner table? We've tried telling him if he doesn't want to eat, to get up from the table. We figure when he sees us eating dessert, he'll realize he has to eat dinner to get any but that didnt seem to work. I've tried not fighting with him about eating but he'll go to bed without eating dinner.. which he seems to be fine with but I am not.. so I find myself fighting with him to eat.. ugh!!

BTW, this is only happening at dinner time.. he's totally fine at breakfast and lunch!

ncbelle · September 2012

Callum also doesn't really eat dinner - and used to be a "great" eater so it's totally a "hey, I can control something" thing! I don't have any great answers but our "rule" is that he has to sit at the table for a reasonable amount of time and what's for dinner is what's for dinner. If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat - I think the fact that he's eating breakfast and lunch and snacks keeps him going

I do think it makes a difference if we have a snack too late in the afternoon since his appetite seems to go down as the day goes on (eats a ton for breakfast) so maybe try that. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it if he doesn't eat - the bigger a fuss you make over it, the more of a struggle it will be.

luckymom3 · September 2012

DS is SUCH a picky eater. Drives us crazy! He only has a limited menu of things he actually will eat and if we get him to try something new, he usually makes himself gag. UGH.

Our rule is, this is when we eat dinner. If you don't like it, that's fine, but you have to sit there and there are no snacks before bed. You will not eat until breakfast. Usually if he sits there long enough, he gives in and will eat. If he throws a fit, he has to go sit in time out and then return when he is ready to be nice and eat something.

He is also a huge drinker so we don't allow him to take any sips until he has had at least a few bites. If not, he would fill up on liquids and definitely not each. It's frustrating but I really think it's age.

jlw2505 · September 2012

I don't make a big deal about dinner and I never use dessert as a bribe to get my kids to eat, granted we rarely have dessert anyway. Our rules are that everyone sits at the table and tries everything., We don't make any special meals, everyone eats what is served. If the kids eat the majority of what is on their plate and want something different, they have some healthy options to chose from - fruit, yogurt, cheese, etc. Nothing that DH or I need to get up and make or even at this point, need to get up as my kids help themselves after asking. If one of the girls really does not/can;t sit still - they can leave the kitchen and go play by themself in the other room but then they are done. We typically don't do snacks or any other food food after dinner since bed time is not that long after (dinner is typically at 5:30/6 and they go to bed between 7 and 7:30) so once they leave the table, there is no more food for the night. (Yes, if the girls eat a lot and are still hungry or ask for something to eat, we will do a small healthy snack but if they refuse dinner, they are out of luck). 3 and even 4 are hard ages when it comes to meals. If your child snacks during the day, watch what and when they are snacking are in relation to when dinner is and how much he eats. Also watch the liquid intake before and during meals as they can effect what they eat as well. My girls get picked up from school at 4pm and are typically starving so they typically have a small snack in the car on the way home but then that is it until dinner. They can some water but nothing else as then I know they won't eat dinner. If they seem extra cranky, I will let them have some fruit or veggies once at home as that is healthy and I feel like if they eat a little less dinner at least they had some healthy. We don't do juice or anything like that most of the time so drinks are typically water or milk.

hokies94 · September 2012

DS is 3 and generally a very good, non pick eater, but even he has days that he eats nothing for dinner. There have been numerous nights where he went to bed without having eaten dinner. I have no problem with this. He eats enough during the day that if he doesn't want dinner, I don't force it.

Once he gets down from his seat, he's done and his plate goes away. This has turned into crying fits a few times but now he realizes that if he gets up and leaves, he's done. We don't do dessert during the week. Only on the weekends and he knows that if he wants it he has to eat his dinner.

My middle child is our picky eater and I've stopped catering to what she will/won't eat. Like your DS she changes weekly what she likes. I've stopped even trying to figure it out. I make dinner and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to eat it, but I'm not giving her anything else. However, she is almost 8 and I think some of it is a power struggle. At 3 I'd probably still give something you know he will eat.

Our 8 year old has to at least try everything. I don't make our 3 year old yet. I think a lot of his non eating at dinner is that he is just not hungry. I don't want to force him to eat if he's not hungry.

ridesbuttons · September 2012

Actual food intake at our house at dinner time is hit or miss. Usually miss.

Our rules for dinner is that if you don't like something, you leave it on your plate without complaining about it. You sit for at least 10 minutes with the family and you must ask to be excused.

IMO, dinner time is more about manners and social skills and personal interaction than nutrition.

KathrynMD · September 2012

DD is pretty hit or miss w/ dinner, but she eats a good bit for breakfast and lunch, so I really don't worry if she doesn't eat something. I know she's not going hungry. If she skips/skimps on dinner she will occassionally ask for a snack at bed time and she can have bread and milk. That's it. I honestly just don't think she's that hungry late in the day and that's OK, its a social convention to have a big heavy meal at the end of the day and its probably not very healthy. The "rule" at our house is that you have to come to the table. We try hard to encourage DD to at least try everything (and she knows this and repeats it to us) and if she says she doesn't want whatever's dinner b/c she wants to play, I'll tell her she needs to eat 3 bites which is normally enough to get her going if she's just being silly or enough to convince me she's really not hungry. I don't want my mealtimes to be a stressful time either, so we try to keep it easy and manageable for us and DD.

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