Mysterious flu yesterday???

Sweeetonpole · September 2012

Yesterday was my one and only shower. My entire family lives in other states, so my best friend just decided to do one huge one for convenience. She threw a very classy event. I can't believe how all out she went. She rented a venue, had it catered with an open bar and had a custom cake made. She's an amazing friend. My shower started at 1pm. Between 12pm and 12:45pm, I received 8 text messages from people claiming they couldn't make it because they all were hit by some mysterious flu virus. I became so upset by the messages, that I turned off my phone, missing the additional 5 texts that came in after. I am so upset that 13 people stood up my friend who paid for them. I don't believe that 13 people were that sick yesterday, especially when one person's FB posts show her checked in at crossfit this morning. I just think its so rude. And outside of my family members who flew in from out of state, I had no idea who was coming to the party. My friend kept everything a secret from me. I wish the people who had cancelled had called her instead of me. I would have never known they had cancelled and would not have been so upset when I arrived at my shower.

rhubarb123 · September 2012

Sorry your guests did tihs to you. I think it is extremely unusual/suspicious for 13 people to have the same "flu". Sounds like something that was decided on before if you ask me. I'd be crossing some of those off of my friend list if it is common for them to do this. Too bad you had your phone on. It would have been proper for them to call/text the HOSTESS not you. I hope you had a great shower with your out of town family though.

BTW...do these people have something against your hostess...because she is really the one that lost a lot of $$ because of them doing this.

FWIW, we had 6 people cancel last minute for our wedding reception (actually they called the day/night before. Heck...that was $60 per person so I asked neighbors and my brother asked a couple of his friends (adults) if they wanted to have a good meal, drinks and dancing. We filled the space. I was ready to go out and find some homeless people. LOL

EastCoastBride · September 2012

Estwd2:
I personally would not measure someone's friendship by attendance at my shower. Stuff comes up, people get sick, and a shower is hardly a lifechanging event. It upset you because you let it upset you. I'm sorry you didn't have everyone there you wanted to see, but I think you're taking it way too personally and basically accusing your friends and family of lying without any evidence. Also, DH does crossfit. Those people are pretty hardcore. It wouldn't shock me if she worked out while sick.

Eh,. I disagree. If these people RSVP'd "yes", then to not come because "something came up" is kind of crass. A shower isn't a life changing event, but it IS an event that if you say you're going to, not going just because something else came up - rude.

If some really were sick, that's one thing. But I do have to agree - 13 people all of a sudden got sick? It's hard to believe. I'd probably be upset too.

moonglow_84 · September 2012

I'm sorry. This would very much upset me actually. It seems a little suspicious. If someone can work out while sick, they can go to a shower. Unfortunately you'll just have to let it go... even though it sucks they definitely aren't obliged to come, although if they didn't want to they should have just declined the RSVP instead of making your friend pay for them and then cancel at the last minute. It sounds like you had a very beautiful shower though and I hope you still enjoyed yourself

EastCoastBride · September 2012

Estwd2:

We'll have to agree to disagree then. Maybe it's because I have a huge family back home and they all have young kids, so they're always sick or someone's throwing up or something. Even if a bunch of people said they were sick and didn't come, there'd still be a lot of people there, so maybe I just wouldn't notice their absence as much? I don't know. I just wouldn't take it personally.

Maybe I'm reading your one comment too finely - if they were truly SICK or had a sick child, sure... that's totally valid. I'd actually rather them not come and possibly spread it.

But, the "stuff comes up" part of your response is more what I'm referring too. That sounds like "something more fun came up" would be a valid reason to bail at the last minute. That's what I was disagreeing with.

1026pumpkin · September 2012

I totally get that baby showers aren't everyone's cup of tea or first priority, and I certainly get that some people have things come up. What's weird is that you got 13 messages in a 15 minute timeframe with the same exact excuse. I usually give people the benefit of a doubt, but it sounds planned to me. Either that group of people came up with something they'd rather do together as a group, or maybe they had some beef with your hostess and thought they would screw her out of the money she spent on their places?? Something seems fishy to me.....

Either way, they sound very immature. If they wanted to do something else that day, they should have declined the invite. If they were upset with the hostess, they should have found a way to deal with it that didn't involve blowing you off. Sorry it put a damper on your day :-(

Sweeetonpole · September 2012

None of these girls know the hostess. Some were from work and some were personal friends. Some were wives of my husband's friends. The party cost close to $1500, so I'm hurt for my friend. Like I said, she went above and beyond. And it wasn't a typical baby shower with normal baby games and pastel pink everywhere. The people who attended said it was the best party they have ever attended. A few have asked my hostess to plan their parties when the time comes. I'm sure a couple of people really were sick, but 13 seems like a lot. And I find it questionable that they weren't aware of their illnesses until 30-60 mins before the event. I agree that they should have called my friend instead of texting me. It really takes away the excitement when you're driving to your shower, and you start receiving one excuse after another. I'm glad I turned off my phone after number 8. The other suspicious thing is that I received everything that came off my registry at my shower, so the people who cancelled on me probably never planned on going. Yes, they could have bought me something I didn't register for, but I'm guessing most didn't.

Sweeetonpole · September 2012

Oh, and I forgot to mention that a few of my guests had told my hostess they had kids and may have to bring them. My hostess actually arranged for a sitter to be there. The kids hung out in the back room and did crafts and decorated onesies while their moms got to enjoy the party. She paid for 8 kids but only 4 showed.

rhubarb123 · September 2012

Yep...definitely suspicious in my book. It was rude of them to cancel at the last minute if they RSVP'ed yes. I'm glad you turned your phone off as well. I probably would have done so after the first text! Wonder why they even bothered to text at all...especially YOU. I can see if you had invited about 200 people...then maybe 13 wouldn't be a "suspicious" number. Just hard to believe that that many people got sick 30 minutes before the shower.

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