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Blended Families
lb1212
member
Divorcing BM
lb1212
member
So many gripes right now!
BM and hubby #2 are divorcing....after only 2 months! BM has moved back in with her mom until she gets back on her feet. When BM wanted to move to live with her boyfriend, she completely trashed her mom during the court hearings. Now I don't love the grandma, but as long as she controls her drinking when SD is there, we can live with it. BM is planning on staying there for a few months before moving again.
SD is in 3rd grade and is now attending her 4th school, she attended 1 school twice though, so I guess that only makes 3. My son attends a private school (my aunt pays). We offered to cover all tuition for SD to start there this year. BM is planning on sending her there after they move again, causing SD to be the "new girl" again. Fortunately, SD will be able to stay at this school until she's in high school.
DH and I aren't loaded. We make about 40k a year between us. I don't receive any child support but DH pays child support and covers 100% of all medical expenses. Plus, we've had to shell out about $500/mo in travel to see SD. We struggle financially, but we make adjustments - we don't live in the nicest apartment, or drive brand new cars. We don't even have Internet right now! But these are sacrifices we make for our kids.
We picked SD up on Friday, and she was sent home with a copy of the school's dress code policy. She went to school Thursday and Friday in violation of the dress code. BM and I definitely have a different idea of what school attire is, but I'm glad that this school at least enforces their dress code.
BM's been back in our city for 2 weeks and has applied for food stamps, legal aide and any other "freebies" possible. At SD's old school, she was on the free/reduced lunch program, however, BM refused to ever pack a lunch or provide breakfast since SD could get it for free at school. BM has been on food stamps for about 2 years, so food should be never be an issue. When we discussed this with BM, she replied, "SD doesn't need that much food. She's fine with just a salad for lunch."
DH and I have SD every weekend and are hoping to be able to take SD to dinner either Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm trying really hard not to step on BM toes. I know that I'm "just the step mom", but how out of line is it for me to pack lunches on Sundays for Mon, Tue, Wed and on Wed for Thurs and Fri (assuming they aren't to SD's liking)?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Divorcing BM
I guess I just don't see the problem with BM not packing lunch if SD can get free lunch anyway. What's so terrible about eating the school lunch? Maybe I'm missing something.
"Man, be creative. Like the stuff you do. Do nice things. Love respectfully. Laugh a fucking lot. Curse when you feel like it. Life is cool." - Jean Grae
Is SD underweight? Complaining about being hungry?
It's good that SD will be able to have consistency in the school she attends instead having switching districts so often.
However, you are overstepping if you pack lunches. BM could just trash those packed lunches anyway. It's one thing if BM requests it, another if you hand BM three days worth of lunches - that's a bit excessive. Nothing is wrong with the school lunch. You could always ask BM if you can pack a lunch Sunday for Monday and a lunch Wednesday night for Thursday, but more than a day at a time would be silly. I'm guessing since SD is going to private school she's not going to get free lunch anymore?
I would only pack lunches on days when SD doesn't like the lunch options. SD has mentioned several times that lunch was gross and she was hungry the rest of the day.
When (if) SD attends private school, BM would be able to apply for the free/reduced school lunch program. I just don't agree with making a kid eat something they don't like just because it's free.
DS Bio-Dad isn't in the picture. Last I heard he hasn't even had a job in the last 2 years. I've been able to support DS - it's been a struggle, and we don't do a lot of "extras". DH and I work full time. BM has an unstable work history. She's held 6 jobs in the last 2 years and is currently searching for her 7th.
Well...now I feel bad! I never thought of it that way! I just hated hearing SD saying that she's hungry and (thought) I was finally in a position to help out. I'll be sure to call the school tomorrow am to find out for sure! Thanks for the reality check I soo obviously needed!