Community› The Bump Month Clubs› October 2012 Moms
October 2012 Moms
New Discussion

SIL Vent (really long)

beckymonsterbeckymonster
in October 2012 Moms

Let me begin by saying that I met DH through my SIL (his sister).  We are the same age (33) and went to high school together, and I ended up marrying her brother.  We live in Southeast Michigan and in June, SIL moved to Chicago because the social scene for single people in Southeast Michigan leaves something to be desired and she's hoping to find a husband, etc, in the big city. 

She has her Masters in Social Work and has been working as a therapist for the past sevenish years.  Before she moved, she found a job in the Chicago suburbs at an in patient treatment center, but she wanted to live in the city where all the action is, but also where it's super expensive. 

So she's always been bad with money and has a history of getting FIL to bail her out of debt every couple of years so she can start with a clean slate.  FIL also let her live with him until she was 27 and paid for her college, meanwhile, DH was encouraged to move out and get a job and take care of his mother when he was 18 and they got divorced.  FIL passed away last summer.

So, SIL is always going away for the weekend and goes to Las Vegas every year for her birthday, concerts every weekend, and Hawaii every year to visit friends.  She eats out every night and gets her hair and nails done regularly.  She can afford none of this (habitual behavior, leading to the prior bailouts), so now that she doesn't have anyone to bail her out, she's thinking about filing bankruptcy.

So for the past couple of weeks she has been complaining that she needs to get her brakes done on her car.  She's planning to come to town and stay in our house when the baby is born so she can meet the baby, and yesterday she actually asked DH if when the baby is born and she comes to visit (while I am in the hospital recovering from my C-section), if he can COME HOME AND DO A BRAKE JOB ON ALL FOUR OF HER TIRES.  Really?  You want him to leave his new baby and recovering wife in the hospital and spend the day doing car work for your stupid a$$? 

Obviously, he told her it was not possible, so now she's planning to come this weekend,  so that he can do it for her.  This is after he already told her no when she first asked because he doesn't even do car work on our cars - he'd rather just pay someone else.  She finally guilted him in to it.  And we have to host her because her stupid self won't talk to MIL so she stays with us whenever she comes to town.  Grrr!  Drives me flipping crazy!

image
Report Reply to Post

Re: SIL Vent (really long)

  • IAM3BsIAM3Bs member
    That wouldn't fly with me either. She would be paying rent and for the repairs. If she treats you like a hotel, treat her like a hotel guest.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • valkyriemamavalkyriemama
    In my opinion it's time for your DH to stand up to her.  It's tough love time.  She won't grow up until she's let to deal with her own mess.  My BIL engaged in similar behavior, spending more money than he should have been and making stupid decisions.  He ended up filing bankruptcy and he came to us asking for a $5000 loan just a month before my 2 year old was born.  I was floored that someone would ask someone expecting a baby for money since I thought any logical person know that babies are EXPENSIVE.  My hubby, being the older brother, was talking about trimming in our budget to be able to help him.  I flipped out and told him I'm not giving up my once a week eating out and occasional treats for the kids because his brother was stupid with his money.  Hubby told his brother no, and although it caused some friction at first his brother got over it.  He also started making better decisions with his money.  We later found out the $5000 would have been so that his wife's child from a former marriage could keep the car they'd bought for him.  Why they bought him a car when they were in financial trouble is beyond me, but hubby was so glad he listened to me in the end. 
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • EveanynEveanyn member

    Umm... why is she staying with you at all? If you're recovering from major surgery and bringing home a new baby, she can do what all your other relatives and friends do and VISIT, not use you as a hotel and car repair service.

    Stand up to her, don't let your DH cave, and FOLLOW THROUGH. Good luck!

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"