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Clarification on my situation.

+j+k++j+k+
in Blended Families

This is in regards to the Intervention Letter post below.

First of all - thank you all for expressing your view and the advice. I absolutely understand the intent and the nature it is being given.  Thank you. 

Now I just want to clarify a few things.

I referred to it as "we" because we are still and always will be the parents of DD and we need to show an united effort - with his family, and with DD. When I file, it will officially be "I" and "me" and an occassional "we" if the situation

It's still "we" because we are still married and I have to continue as such until the bankruptcy is at a stage that I can cut myself loose.  To file for divorce sooner will jeopardize that and I can not do that.  We are getting along, but the marriage is clearly fading. To me anyway. H is in a little bit of denial and has threatened to leave a few times but changes his mind and wants to work things out.  I also think he is too lazy to really do anything about himself, and I clearly will have to be the one to initiate. And I will.  Mid November. Maybe even as soon as end of October.  Bankruptcy is officially over mid December. Either the 9th or the 19th - I can't remember which. (Merry frickin Christmas).  My original intent was to file in January after DD's birthday but I have obviously moved the date up, so if that does not show intent...I don't know what does.

I fully intend to parent DD and work with H the best I can and as a amicably as possible. It will be hard at first, but I know H is capable of it. 

After we send the letter, I will not have anymore to do with MIL. EVER.  And she is being written into the proposed CO as someone who is not allowed to see DD.  I am going to fight like hell to keep the bad elements out of Megan's life as much as possible and the letter must be sent and put on record with both H's and my signature to prove to the judge that this is a genuine, serious concern for both of us. Hence...the "we". 

I am not going to leave it up to H to "deal with his family" because 9 times out of 10, he won't.  So I need to do what I can to ensure DD is protected and I don't care what I have to do to do that. 

So that is why.

Yes, I am getting divorced, No, I will NOT change my mind. I"m done and I am looking forward to a more peaceful, healthy life that I have long earned and will thoroughly enjoy with me beautiful little girl.

Thank you everyone for your continued to support. Yes, it's okay to question me and wonder what I mean when I say "we".  I just don't want anyone thinking I'm waivering. I promise I'm not. 

 

 

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Re: Clarification on my situation.

  • +j+k++j+k+
    image+j+k+:

    ...I am looking forward to a more peaceful, healthy life that I have long earned and will thoroughly enjoy with me beautiful little girl.

    Ha!  All of a sudden I have a little bit of Irish in me! 

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Thanks for clarifying and it all makes sense. And if there is something I have learned about your H after all these years if that he would not deal with it so it is smart of you to think in those terms. And I was tempted to reply to the post below again but did not want to speak for you I would have been SHOCKED if you said you changed your mind, I have seen many times where you said one more chance and you would be done and you gave way more than one more chance but you never said you were actually done with your marriage until the time you let us know you planned on filing and you have always seemed like the person who would know when you were really done. You have always seemed very strong even if too forgiving in the past. I cannot wait to read when you are past this, I hate you are getting divorced but look forward to it being behind you.

    Now post a pick of Megan.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member
    image+j+k+:
    image+j+k+:

    ...I am looking forward to a more peaceful, healthy life that I have long earned and will thoroughly enjoy with me beautiful little girl.

    Ha!  All of a sudden I have a little bit of Irish in me! 

    ROTF - as soon as I read it I did a double take lol.

     made sense to me :)

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  • KaeldrasmommyKaeldrasmommy member
    imageLittlejen22:
    Thanks for clarifying and it all makes sense. And if there is something I have learned about your H after all these years if that he would not deal with it so it is smart of you to think in those terms. And I was tempted to reply to the post below again but did not want to speak for you I would have been SHOCKED if you said you changed your mind, I have seen many times where you said one more chance and you would be done and you gave way more than one more chance but you never said you were actually done with your marriage until the time you let us know you planned on filing and you have always seemed like the person who would know when you were really done. You have always seemed very strong even if too forgiving in the past. I cannot wait to read when you are past this, I hate you are getting divorced but look forward to it being behind you. Now post a pick of Megan.
    This!
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