Chemical Pregnancy
km_md
member
Hi ladies,
I am sorry if I post too much or ask stupid questions but this was my first pregnancy and is my first loss so I am really new to all of this.
The doctor told me on the weekend that I was experiencing a chemical pregnancy, and well I understand what that means, I'm not quite sure what it means for my body and what will happen to it. I would love to hear your experiences if you are willing to share.
Also, I know that everyone is different, but how long did the hormones and emotional rollercoaster go on for you? The day I found out, I cried for over 12 hours straight and didn't sleep a wink. Yesterday I was busy and somehow managed to keep most of my tears at bay. I was even able to find some positives in my life and think that we will try again in the future. I woke up this morning and all I want to do now is cry again. I feel so much more depressed and hopeless about the situation than I did yesterday. So how long did this all last for you, if you don't mind sharing.
Re: Chemical Pregnancy
Hello KM
I am very sorry for your loss... The emotional rollercoaster can linger a while. We loss our LO 17 days ago and I am still going through the motions. Unfortunately this has not been our first MC but it has been the one to mark me deeply. It happened later than the other MC's and I had to get a D&E done since my body did not reconize the passing of our baby. This was a brutal hit... not so much to my body but to my mind and soul.
The only advise I can give you is to take it one day at a time. At this point that is pretty much all you can do.
As far as trying again: We tried right away with our first MC and had our DS. After our recent MC we are planing to wait a couple of cycles. (hopes my reply helps.)
Hugs!
You are not asking stupid questions. I had a chemical pregnancy that I lost last week, it has been a difficult few days. I was not able to work on Thursday and Friday, I was a mess mostly because my hormones were out of whack. The weekend was tough too. I felt like I had really bad PMS all weekend even though I had already gotten my "period", which was nothing like a regular period for me. I had crying fits one minute, then the next minute I would be ok.
I think if you are having a tough morning, take the day off if you need to. It helped me to feel like I was taking time to do something for me and mourn the loss of the pregnancy. I literally just cancelled all my appointments for the day and laid on the couch (I may or may not have taken a leftover Vicodin from a surgery I had on my hand last week).
I also know that this doesn't necessarily have any bearing on future pregnancies, and it's usually just a freak thing and does not reflect your body's ability to conceive or carry a child.
Anyways, I'm still kind of in the thick of it so I can't tell you how long it lasts but I do feel better today. In some ways I feel "lucky" that it happened this early on, before I got more attached, and before the physical process of miscarrying was more traumatic. But it is still difficult. I am just hoping by my edd I will be KU again, or else it will be a really difficult day. Good luck and take care of yourself!
I actually am in the same boat as you. I also had a chemical pregnancy this weekend and even though it felt/looked just like a regular period, I have been so very sad and its all I can think about. It's a combo of the hormones and the abrupt crashing of the dreams of the future I pictured. It hasn't effected my DH as bad because we only just realized I was pregnant a week ago, but it's hard for me. Anyway, no advice here, just letting you know you're not alone. Good luck and I hear all the time that healthy babies are conceived shortly after a cp.
If there is a silver lining to all this it's giving your DH and loved ones a chance to be there for you and support you. It really made me feel like I have a great support system, like you seem to have.
I completely agree. I believe you were on the May board with me. I am so sorry for your loss.
First of all, I just want to say that I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I had a chemical pregnancy miscarriage (I like adding the word miscarriage at the end because I hate the term chemical pregancy) about 5 weeks ago. This was my first loss too.
While I am no "expert" I can tell you what it has been like for me the last 5 weeks.
Physically= I don't know if I can be much of a help to you in this arena. I have had weird things go on this past month but I think this is entirely related to some health conditions I am still sorting out with my doctor so I don't want to give you any info that might be specific just to me.
Emotionally/Hormonally= Good question. The first week was really awful. Everything started on Friday night/Saturday morning for me so I had 2 days to "get myself together" before I went back to work on Monday. Those two days helped a lot. It also helped because I didn't have to explain why I missed work if it had happened during the work week. The second week was better. Then I had 2 pretty good weeks. I still thought about it quite a bit but I felt pretty functional. Now, due to the health conditions previously mentioned that I won't go into, I have started feeling like hormonally and emotionally things are pretty rough. BUT, once again, part of this is relating to my health stuff and the loss is wrapped up in all of that so it is emotionally hard to distinguish one from the other. Overall, it comes and goes. Even on really good days I have moments of sadness and on really bad days I have moments of happiness.
Not to sound morose but I think there will always be a part of me that will mourn my loss. My mom had a loss about 26 years ago and she actually told me that she was thinking about it on her drive home from work the day before I had my loss. I think the pain will subside over time but, a loss is a loss; no matter how long you carried your baby and I think that sticks with people more than they ever verbalize.
One thing that REALLY helped in the first week was to get crafty and make a memory bracelet. I looked online quite a bit and found ones on etsy that I really liked but then decided to make one myself. It was a bit cathartic to be the one to actually make it. It's hard to describe exactly what it looks like but on the clasp I have a crystal representing my birth month and my DH's birth month and on the bracelet itself I have a charm that I made with a crystal representing the EDD birth month and the month of the loss. My intention is to add to this bracelet in the future, hopefully with ones that don't require the loss crystal. Maybe something like this will help you in the early weeks as much as it helped me.
Final note-- This board and a few other boards on this site have been instrumental in helping me both as a lurker and a poster. I'm so sorry that you have to join us here but I think you have found a great place to find support.
Married since 2008 with 1 precious furbaby.
Mis-dx with PCOS & Hypothyroidism. New Dx= Hypoandrenia & hormone imbalance
BFP #1 on 3rd round of Clomid (50mg).
I was. I lurked on the May board after I said "goodbye" and I saw your post about your c/p. Sucks we have to be here instead of there.
Hope your day got a little better!
Thank you so much ladies!
jbg - Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I also hate the term chemical pregnancy - my doctor today told me that it doesn't even exist, as she doesn't like the term either. I completely agree with everything that you said. A loss is a loss - always. You always remember but hopefully the pain subsides. I am actually a really crafty person and have done some crafting with my time since the loss. So far, I haven't done anything craft wise for the LO. I put all of the things together that I had - hospital bracelet, receipt for HPT's, a magazine I bought on impulse, etc. and put them in a safe place. I really love your bracelet idea though, this is definitely something that I will look into. Thanks again and I am sorry for your loss.
caramia - I have gone onto the May board a couple of times to check, but I can't do it anymore. It sends me into hysterics seeing everyone else's good news and baby tickers. That should have been me! It does suck that we are here and not there anymore but there is lots of support for us here and one day it will happen for us. {hugs}
I am really sorry for your loss
You are in a great place for support though. It is such a heartbreaking thing to go through but at least you have your son to help you through the rough times! I am currently still bleeding and it is now day 6 but it has not been heavy at all so you might not need to worry about that. Everyone (doctors included) have told me that I did nothing wrong so please don't blame yourself! It is just one of those very unfortunate things that happens. I am sorry about your health issues and I hope that you find a resolution soon
Sorry for your loss as well..my Son is a big comfort to me ..but it's hard not to cry in front of him
My normal periods were usually about 5 days, but I have been on BCP for almost 10 years so those aren't "real" periods and I have no idea what my normal cycle is like. Sorry I can't be of more help there. Waiting for that call is going to be hard, I am sorry that you have to be at work. Because chemical pregnancy miscarriages (I took that term from another poster, sorry can't remember the screen name) happen so early, from what I have heard it isn't a hard thing to deal with physically. I had some cramping but it wasn't any worse than regular monthly cramps. I was just over 6 weeks when my bleeding started, if that helps. I hope that you get some information and relief soon.
So sorry for your loss. I also had a cp a few weeks back. First beta was 8/22 and was 45, 2 days later it was 60, then again in 2 days it was 30. About 5 days after that it was 5 and AF arrived (overall about 7 days late). My period lasted maybe a day longer than usual (about 5 days total) and was slightly heavier for the first 2 days.
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
Of course I cried. I had to call my husband at work. We had already told our families. I refused to talk about it and my husband told everyone. I cried again a few days later when the bleeding started and probably just about every time I went to the bathroom. The thought of what would've been my second child being flushed away was unbearable. I think I was going to have twins because I had two follicles ready to release eggs. My babies would've been born in March.
We waited two cycles to try again. We kept the pregnancy news to ourselves much longer this time.
Our son was born this past May and he is so perfect and handsome but I still find myself mourning and wondering "what if" from time to time. I do take a little comfort in the nurse telling me most of these early miscarriages are due to some genetic problem so it is your body's way of ending things early because it never could've survived.
Had I not been seeing a fertility specialist, I may never even have known I was pregnant to begin with.
In the end, I ended up with a healthy baby and things are as they should be.
I don't think I will ever forget my "baby" but the emotions are less severe as time passes....except today for me for some reason.
Good luck and God Bless