Baby Showers

shower before or after holidays?

HELP! My MIL is "demanding" she throw my baby shower. Which I don't mind, but her words were "you can't take this away from me."  It is our first (but she has other grandchildren from her other children). I am due late February and we are having conflicting ideas on when the baby shower should be done. I would like it a little earlier (say November) before the holidays kick off which gives me ample time to get situated and make sure we are "ready" for the baby. She is adamant that we need to wait until mid January. The reasons for this include, "it will interfere with Christmas decorations", "people won't want to spend money on a baby shower because of Christmas." And she is betting on me delivering later. 

I don't want to have additional stress (I am already high risk) and I don't want to feel "rushed" and not be able to do things because I am SOOO pregnant. 

Advice? 

Re: shower before or after holidays?

  • You have two choices. Either accept her offer to host a baby shower and let her plan it her way. Or decline her offer for a baby shower. Since she is the one hosting it and paying for it she really has the final choice of when she can throw the party.
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  • My advice is to go with mid-January.  She is the host and if she thinks trying to get it in before the holidays will be too much for her then there is nothing you can do about it.  Obviously she is the one paying for everything.  If you are not due until late February and you have a shower in mid-January you'll have plenty of time to sort things out, get things washed up and put away.  I had 3 showers all starting when I was 34 weeks.  I had a lot of time to do everything I needed to do and I worked full-time at an office job and tutored in the evenings twice a week.  It is really not that big of deal...seriously it is a trunk load of stuff to put away not a semi-truck.  lol
  • I am due early February and my BF is throwing my shower in November with the holidays in mind. It will give me more time to finish my nursery plus I will be able to take advantage of holiday sales and perhaps finish shopping for my LO. I hope you get your way and the shower doesn't get put off until January so you don't have as much stress right before your due date!

     

  • Because she's throwing it, unfortunately she is ultimately the one who gets to decide.  It's closer to your DD, but still gives you enough time to prepare - purchase things you didn't get from the shower and such.  It's pretty common to have your shower only a month or so in advance.  Guests want to see that big belly!  If you're due late Feb and she plans having it mid January that's still a good amount of time.  Her reasons for not doing it are kinda lame (ie. no one will want to spend money on a shower before xmas - my shower is at the beginning of November & it hasn't been a problem) but still, because she's paying, you'll have to yield if she pushes hard.  If possible, maybe try to convince her that if she'd like to do the shower in Jan, she do it as early as possible because of the concerns you have relating to your pregnancy.  Assuming she knows you're high risk, I'm sure she'd be happy to give at least that much.  And perhaps if you are able to, have your registry include only necessities and smaller items that you can go out and get quickly yourself afterwards, and buy all of your big ticket items and nursery stuff that requires a lot of set-up and decorating as early as you'd like... maybe that will help as well?

  • Take or leave her offer.  As the host, it really is up to her when to have the shower.  Personally I think early-mid January would be ideal if you are due at the end of February.  
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  • I'm also due late February and my showers will all be the last two weeks of January and possibly the first week in February. Of course, I am a little worried about the timing but my friends and family will all understand if plans change. 

     

     

     

  • imagemightyheather:

    HELP! My MIL is "demanding" she throw my baby shower. Which I don't mind, but her words were "you can't take this away from me."  It is our first (but she has other grandchildren from her other children). I am due late February and we are having conflicting ideas on when the baby shower should be done. I would like it a little earlier (say November) before the holidays kick off which gives me ample time to get situated and make sure we are "ready" for the baby. She is adamant that we need to wait until mid January. The reasons for this include, "it will interfere with Christmas decorations", "people won't want to spend money on a baby shower because of Christmas." And she is betting on me delivering later. 

    I don't want to have additional stress (I am already high risk) and I don't want to feel "rushed" and not be able to do things because I am SOOO pregnant

    Advice? 

    You are way overthinking this.  It'll take an hour long trip to BRU to get the rest of the stuff you need before the baby actually comes.  A baby doesn't need much when it first arrives.  There's not much"readying" to do.  As long as you have a carseat, somewhere for the baby to sleep, diapers, your boob (or bottles if you formula feed), and a few little sleepers, you're good to go.  And sure you're not the most comfortable those last few weeks, but it's not like you can't do anything because you're "SOOO pregnant."  Sheesh.

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  • If you are due in Feb, I think a shower in November is way too early.

     

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  • imagebklynbmp:

    If you are due in Feb, I think a shower in November is way too early.

     

     I agree.  The only exception is depending on how high risk you are.  My bff is having twins, due Feb. 11, meaning she'll have them in January or earlier for sure.  With the holidays, we decided to have it mid November, when she'll be like 26 weeks (and have a huge belly!).  If you are only having a single baby you won't be very big at all in November.  Unless you are so high risk that your doctor thinks you will be on strict bed rest by January then I think you are fine to wait that long.

    I had my showers at around 35 weeks and 38 weeks, and I delivered at 39 weeks.  I still got everything washed and ready, and other things purchased after that last shower.  I did have foresight and bought a good amount of necessities before my shower so that I was ready either way.

    If you have already told your MIL that would like an earlier date and she doesn't agree, there is nothing else you can do about it. 

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  • I think January is fine. I'm due Jan 12 and my shower is Oct 20, but that's because I have to fly across country and I didn't want to do that when I'm huge.
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  • I think November may be too early, honestly...
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  • I am a FTM so maybe I am way out of line.. But I totally disagree with "its the MIL's choice!" Its very nice of her to want to do a shower but its YOUR shower..it should be when you want it. When you feel most comfortable ect. Especially being high risk. I dont know how high risk you are, but like for me I am not on complete bed rest but I am supposed to "take it easy". I usually pick a few tasks to do each day and get them done. I would hate to not get everything needed and have to hit up all the stores and get it all situated in a few weeks. If you feel comfortable having your shower that early then I think she should oblige. I am pretty outspoken so I would have no trouble telling my MIL thanks for the offer but I really don't want to have one that late so thanks anyways.  If she REALLY wants to do it which is sounds like she does from want you've said ( "you can't take this away from me.") then she will do it when you want! And really who decorates for Christmas in Nov?!..lol..=)
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