Rude teenager and a snake

bebe11 · September 2012

I am just about done with biting my tounge with my 14 yo SS. He is just so freaking rude, and only to me. I walk in and say HI - extra loud so I know he heard me and not even an awknowledgement from him. I really don't get it and I am not sure how to approach it without making the kid dislike me even more, when he really has no reason to in the first place.

I am just starting to dread when he comes over. He lays around and last night I asked my husband what is wrong with him, because he was acting like someone killed his puppy. Just moping around, not talking (to me or DD). When I try to talk to my H about this, he totally brushes it off, and it even irritates me more, so I don't even bring it up anymore.

So as the evening progresses, I took the dog out for a walk, and a few min later my DD comes outside, then a min later decides to go in. She yells to me "mom there is a snake by the door" but yells in a calm way, just loud so i can hear her. So me, being paranoid, go around the back and through the garage. Turns out there was a little freaking RATTLE SNAKE right by our front door, and the dog and I (and DD) walked right past it. Totally freaked me out!

dor79 · September 2012

I've had this conversation with my husband several times, and he always chalks it up to being a teenager. I don't always agree with that analogy and keep pressing the issue with DH to get him to talk to SS. I try and enforce family dinners when we are all together and get husband to steer conversation at dinner so we all at least talk at that point. I hate feeling like an outsider in my own home and I hate the silent treatment....

I will be watching to see what other posters have to say about it and the advice they have.

karatechrissy · September 2012

It is probably typical 'teen' behavior 'ohhh the end of the world this girl doesn't like meeeee' kind of thing. Who knows. Regardless, that doesn't mean its OKAY for him to act like a punk. I had my moments with my mother (haven't we all? lol) and I was a typical snotty teen at times, and my mom never let me get away with it. She would tell me that it was fine if I didn't want to clue her in on WTF was going on with me, but that she expected to be treated nicely, and acknowledged when she was speaking to me. She reminded me it wasn't HER fault for whatever I was pissed at (sometimes it was... lol) and that it was unacceptable behavior. I will always be grateful that my mom FORCED me to be respectful. Just that alone helped prepare me for real world situations later in life. Mad at my boss? HELL TO THE YES, but I'm gonna put a smile on my face and pretend I'm happy at my job. Irritated at another parent at the park? Yup, your kid just kicked mine. I know how to appropriately act in situations. He should be held accountable for his attitude. There is no reason he should be straight up rude to you. Sure, teen attitude, whatever, but that doesn't mean he gets a free pass to be a douche to you in your own home. Parents that let that attitude fly in their homes is why we have such an effed up generation of young adults right now (my generation included).

jnjmommy0609 · September 2012

My relationship with my stepdad has really changed for the best over the years. But honestly when I was a teen I took out my problems out on him because I felt like he caused a lot of them even though he didn't really. It would have made me feel a bit better if he talked to me. Now I don't know your step son but I think I feel why he is being rude. For me it wasn't just being a teen.

Also my mom never did anything to show how I was acting was unacceptable. I asked her recently why she let me get away with being such a b*tch to him.

Not sure if your husband does anything about it when his son is rude but he should be stepping in

bebe11 · September 2012

jnjmommy0609:

My relationship with my stepdad has really changed for the best over the years. But honestly when I was a teen I took out my problems out on him because I felt like he caused a lot of them even though he didn't really. It would have made me feel a bit better if he talked to me. Now I don't know your step son but I think I feel why he is being rude. For me it wasn't just being a teen.

Also my mom never did anything to show how I was acting was unacceptable. I asked her recently why she let me get away with being such a b*tch to him.

Not sure if your husband does anything about it when his son is rude but he should be stepping in

I honestly think a lot of the way he treats me is because of his BM. We had a lot of issues a couple of years ago that really changed the way our (H and I) relationship with BM was. We were all more or less "friends" and now neither H or I talk to her much. I am pretty sure BM played the victim card and made it all to be my fault and didn't hide it from SS. Hence I am the evil stepmom. I don't know for sure, but I think I am at the point where my H needs to have a serious talk with SS and iron this out.

I was also a stepkid, and I hated my stepmom but I never ignored her like she didn't exist. I hated her because my Dad had an affair with her, and I always sort of blamed her for my parents divorce as a teenager. I still disliked her as I got older, but never treated her like crap to her face.

xmaryrickx · September 2012

My SS was like this and I do think it's n

xmaryrickx · September 2012

My SS was like this and I do think it's nOrmal. Doesn't excuse it. Doesn't mean I didn't point it out to him or that H didn't call him out on it but that isn't going to magically change his personality. They are sullen emo creatures.

bebe11 · September 2012

xmaryrickx:
My SS was like this and I do think it's nOrmal. Doesn't excuse it. Doesn't mean I didn't point it out to him or that H didn't call him out on it but that isn't going to magically change his personality. They are sullen emo creatures.

Made me LOL

+j+k+ · September 2012

It's normal, yes. But that does not mean they can get away with it. Your DH needs to let his son know that under no uncertain terms is he to be an A$$ with you and his attitude better change or there are consequences.

If my kid treated anyone like that, regardless of who they are, I'd set her straight in a heartbeat.

Your SS does not have to like you, but manners and curbing his clear attitude towar you is a must.

lily_721 · September 2012

Mine can be super moody and cranky but they are not allowed to be disrespectful. If they are, SS2 spends time in his bedroom alone and SS1 loses his phone. I remind them that they will treat me appropriately or there will be consequences (and I follow through with their restrictions). They can think I am a b*tch but I better never hear it.

Want a personalized experience?

Rude teenager and a snake

Re: Rude teenager and a snake

Choose Another Board

Search Boards