I am in my 5th month as a FTM and have heard nothing about a baby shower. I would never ask for one, but I do really hope someone will do me the honor because I feel it is a special, meaningful gesture and in a way a rite of passage.
That said, I am also getting to the point where I would like to begin making purchases for the baby. I have a registry set up that I have not shared with anyone, and the only items on it are things I will definately purchase myself if they are not purchased for me. But I feel awkward going out and buying things not knowing if someone is planning a shower. This may sound silly, but I almost feel like I am "stealing" their potential gifts.
I am a major planner and normally feel much more secure having things set up well in advance for any major change or event be it moving or just throwing a party.
Should I buy things and keep receipts, hoping I don't have to return a bunch of items? Or should I just keep buying gift cards and hope I don't have to rush out and buy it all right before baby comes, and possibly miss out on the "fun" of selecting things for baby at a leisurely pace?
Re: Buying Baby Items
Even if you have a shower and people see your registry, they might not buy things off your registry, KWIM? Registries are "suggestions" of things you'd like to have, there's no rule that says your guests have to buy the items on the list.
Buy what you want to buy and if someone hosts a shower for you, put suggestions of gifts on your registry. I wouldn't return anything you already bought hoping someone else will spend their money on it, that sounds REALLY greedy, even if no one knows you did it.
I feel the same way buying things off a Christmas list that I don't anticipate anyone actually getting me. Until I KNOW that I didn't get it, I almost feel its rude to assume someone WOULDN'T but it, even though Christmas lists are really JFF and in no way are required shopping, lol!
I'm just a bit quirky I suppose. Heehee
Some people don't even have their showers until they are in their 7th or 8th month. A shower can be put together in less than a month...as long as invites go out to give guests enough time to shop.
I would go ahead and buy the big things for sure but hold on to the receipts and make sure you check on the return policy (days). You can still keep those items on your registry if you want but if you have enough other things you probably won't need to. The other pps are correct in that some people don't/won't even look at a registry. It all depends on what people have done in the past in your circle of family/friends. I did get quite a few things off my registry from family/friends but for the work and church shower I did not.
I do agree with the most part about people not shopping off the registry, but I was Team Green and at my shower everyone stuck to the registry. Most wanted to wait to buy a gender specific thing until after the baby was born so they gave us something from the registry and then after she was born, bought us an outfit they thought was cute. But all of my friends that knew the sex of their babies, everyone bought what they wanted to buy....which was mostly handmade items, blankets, toys, and clothes. So really, it's just a wish list and there are some people that always stick to the registry...and there are some that throw the registry right out the window (nothing wrong with that). That being said, I made my registry and there were some items that were more expensive that I would never want anyone to spend that much money on my kid. What I did, was we bought the items and then checked them off on the registry. So that way when someone printed the registry, it would show that the item had already been purchased.
But I also used the registry as a checklist for my SO and I. After we did research on the items we wanted we put them on the registry and if either of us was in the store we had an instant list of items we still needed and he didn't have to keep calling me asking what he could buy that hadn't already been purchased.
I would buy what you think you need and keep receipts/packaging (I always recommend this because some baby gear doesn't work for certain babies, or you end up not needing something).
If you find out you are having a shower, you could always add expendable items (diapers, bath products, wipes, etc.) or items for a bigger baby- umbrella stroller, jumperoo, forks/spoons/bowls, etc.
As PPs mentioned, a lot of people like to shop off-registry anyway, so I wouldn't worry about "using up" your registry items.
1/12/13 DD was born
4/9/16 DS was born
9/17 CP
6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19
Good advice.