Update on sleep issues... (long, advice?)

PGASTL · September 2012

So I was able to get LO in the crib last night! It wasn't looking good at first. Saturday night she ended up in bed with us (DH joked that she knew it was CD14 and that she was trying to "block" us from having a sibling, ha!).

Sunday she wouldn't nap in her crib (it has been months since we had issues with napping, so I was really worried).

So, last night when he put her down and she got up and was screaming I thought we were in for it again. We let her cry 10 minutes and then he went in and rocked her to sleep & then put her down. Cue screaming again. Hysterical jumping up and down screaming.

So, we tried something new. I went in there and talked to her. I wiped off her face and gave her back her binkie (she had thrown it in fury) and started talking to her. I said "why are you so sad, Reese? Do you want mommy to hold your hand?" she said "yes" but she wouldn't lay down, so I held her for about 60 seconds and talked to her saying "did you miss mommy and daddy? we are right in the other room. It's okay, you can sleep in Reese's room. Now you lay down and I will hold your hand."

So I put her back down and covered her up and sat next to the crib and put my hand on her back (she's a belly sleeper) and shhh'd her a little bit. After about a minute, she poked her head up and I said "I'm right here, lay down, shh" and she laid down.

After about 5 minutes I literally crawled out of there and she slept in her crib the rest of the night! I waited a half hour before even closing her door (it squeeks really badly, we need to grease it up!)

Now, here's the place for advice... should I indulge her like this? I know it's only been one night, but am I setting her up for needing us to fall asleep?

I'm also wondering if I should get one of those turtle night lights - my nephew loved his. She's used to sleeping in a super dark room, but maybe it's time for a night light?

I am so glad she's not in a toddler bed yet, I am dreading that transition!

EVM1216 · September 2012

Does she have any loveys? DD sleeps with a whole menagerie of things now, but requires at least her stuffed cat and glo-worm. Occasionally I am awoken in the middle of the night by her playing her glo-worm for comfort. I would suggest you coddle her for a few nights but try to substitute in a lovey that she can always have with her. We have a very elaborate good-night scenario where she picks out who is going to bed with her and she kisses them all good night, says good night to them and then we lay them all down in the crib with her. It seems to work.

Also, I think that a night light is a good idea.

PGASTL · September 2012

EVM1216:

Does she have any loveys? DD sleeps with a whole menagerie of things now, but requires at least her stuffed cat and glo-worm. Occasionally I am awoken in the middle of the night by her playing her glo-worm for comfort. I would suggest you coddle her for a few nights but try to substitute in a lovey that she can always have with her. We have a very elaborate good-night scenario where she picks out who is going to bed with her and she kisses them all good night, says good night to them and then we lay them all down in the crib with her. It seems to work.

Also, I think that a night light is a good idea.

Her main comfort item is her binkie. She also has a blankie that she snuggles with, in addition to the 2 that cover her (she sleeps better when she's warm).

We tried having her sleep with a little stuffed pony that she was obsessed with, but it was the worst night of sleep ever, strangely! So I have not tried to give her stuffed animals in bed again since then.

lrn327 · September 2012

I'm sorry it's so rough! Your experience last night sounds just about like ours last night though. C's normally a good sleeper and he was so upset! I cuddled him for a bit (normally doesn't want this) and then sat next to his crib with my hand on his back for a while. I guess he just wants to know I'm there? Not sure about this though? I feel like I don't know what I should be doing!

JoJoMama730 · September 2012

Oh geez, this is what we have to do every night to get G to sleep, and that is a GOOD night. Like you, we've been through several rounds of sleep training, and like you, it helps, but I also think my child is one of those kids that is always going to struggle with going to sleep no matter how much "training" we do with her. I've struggled with falling asleep my entire life -- that is, until I had a child and was so exhausted I could fall asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. Some might say the help we give our LOs is "indulging", and maybe it is, but in the end, you just need to do what you're comfortable with and what works.

xxbabycakesxx · September 2012

I think youshould keep doing what you did last night, if thats what worked. Then slowly try to wean her from it.

Its terrible but with Griff for bedtime and naps DH or I has to lie down beside him til he falls asleep and then we can slither out. He sleeps in a double bed. I thought we fcked ourselves and caused this horrible habit of him needing us to fall asleep but last week for his nap I just set him down and left cause Bishop started to cry. Griff was quiet so I left him alone and checked on him after 10min and he was asleep! And his naps have been easy like that since then.

I plan on trying the set him down and leave maneuver at bedtime soon. We'll see if I can break this last bad sleep habit.

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time with this! I'm sure I would've lost my mind by now if I were you lol.

PGASTL · September 2012

xxbabycakesxx:
I think youshould keep doing what you did last night, if thats what worked. Then slowly try to wean her from it. Its terrible but with Griff for bedtime and naps DH or I has to lie down beside him til he falls asleep and then we can slither out. He sleeps in a double bed. I thought we fcked ourselves and caused this horrible habit of him needing us to fall asleep but last week for his nap I just set him down and left cause Bishop started to cry. Griff was quiet so I left him alone and checked on him after 10min and he was asleep! And his naps have been easy like that since then. I plan on trying the set him down and leave maneuver at bedtime soon. We'll see if I can break this last bad sleep habit. I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time with this! I'm sure I would've lost my mind by now if I were you lol.

Thanks! You can see why we waited a while to TTC. I don't know how you're doing the 2 kids thing and suriving!

One of our friends has 2 kids and she likes to say that the older one is the reason people have babies and the younger one is the reason people stop having babies. I feel like maybe we got our younger one first, if that makes sense.

(cue mommy guilt because I know my LO is healthy and bright and I shouldn't b!tch so much! I can't imagine how parents who have children with special needs handle everything!)

shaw · September 2012

It sounds like what you did worked great last night. I feel like I have had to change my approach as Jackson enters different phases. There is a time and place for hard core sleep training and it def saved my sanity. However, now maybe she is just missing you and wants reassurance!? I am pretty sure that is what my little guy is going through too! GL Yes....we are only having one due to extreme sleep issues! Can't imagine doing it again

tiffanyp · September 2012

I think it's ok to indulge for now. I bet you'll only have to do it a few days before she doesn't need you in there anymore.

pitterpatter129 · September 2012

Ummm, I still rock mine and hold his hand until he falls asleep and we have sleep issues too, so I guess I'm not the best advice giver, but I think it's fine if it works. We just added a night light to Nate's room too (a very dull one) and he's been sleeping much better at night ever since. He gets his prize tomorrow since we finally got to hang a new sticker chart since the other is filled! He was thrilled to death and talking about stickers when he fell asleep.

watermellens · September 2012

tiffanyp:
I think it's ok to indulge for now. I bet you'll only have to do it a few days before she doesn't need you in there anymore.

ditto -don't worry yet, it's only been one night. Good luck TTC!!!

CeeD2012 · September 2012

I'm struggling with this too! It's a relief to know I'm not the only one dealing with it.

DD just transitioned to a toddler bed late last month and has been struggling to sleep through the night since then. I can't complain too much since she'll only get up usually once every night (twice at the most). I don't have the heart to let her CIO. I will go in her room and within seconds of me coming in she immediately gets quiet and relaxes. I'll cover her up, get her comfortable (help her locate her stuffed toy and her binky) and either pat her butt for a minute or sit on the floor beside her bed and "shh" her to sleep. She's normally back to sleep within a couple of minutes.

I feel like going this route, while it may be getting the job done now.. will become a habit. I wish I could give some advice on this topic, but I'm out of ideas and not quite sure what to do myself!

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