Natural birthers (basically a rant)

Glarification · September 2012

Anyone else getting agitated with their doctors/hospitals?

I remember going over my birth plan last appointment (I think they only ask for it early so that they can tear it apart a hundred times, -_-) and the doctor saying, "Oh, you can only labor in the tub, you can't give birth in it. Too dangerous and we can't monitor you."

Which irks me because it's definitely not dangerous, and anyone educated in this field will know that, YES, you definitely can monitor me and the baby in the water. I got more annoyed after watching "More Business of Being Born" (it's finally on Netflix, I loved The Business of Being Born and Pregnant in America, because I love researching everything so that I can make the best choice possible, so I watched as soon as it came out on Netflix,) because it was a reminder that I feel like I'm stuck with using the hospital up the street from me.

The straw on my back though was when I went through the maternity guide book for my hospital (which you have to read online because they don't give you a darn hard copy) and it even stated that they allowed water births as long as it was under compliance with the standards, which, if I ask for them, I should receive. -growls- Just so aggravating to be jostled about by the hospital. This is why I make sure to research all of my options and look up the hospital. My hospital has a very high c-section rate, about 32%-34.9% that's almost 1 in every 3 women (I know some other places in the US have them even higher which is insane.) So, I'm preparing myself to have to reeducate a lot of the staff on certain things. It's a teaching hospital, so, when the doctors don't even give you all the info, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even know all the info herself, I feel I can already expect the students there to give me a hassle. >:/

I know my SO was laughing because I make sure to go over all the research with him as well and he could tell I was getting angry and could understand why. I'm hoping to go over all of the information with the doctor this time around, hopefully a different one.

Just wondering if anyone else is having some head bumps with their doctors? O.o

Allycat11 · September 2012

I haven't experienced anything like that, my OB hasn't even brought up birth plan or hospital policies yet. However, if my OB and I really did not see eye to eye on something that important to me, I would change Dr's.

TofuMama7 · September 2012

Allycat11:
I haven't experienced anything like that, my OB hasn't even brought up birth plan or hospital policies yet. However, if my OB and I really did not see eye to eye on something that important to me, I would change Dr's.

I agree with this. Last time I had an unmedicated birth in the hospital and it was a great experience. My doctor was not at all pushy about medical intervention (everything went smoothly, so none was needed) and the nurse I had was great at suggesting different positions and encouraging me.

This time I will have to have a C-section, which was hard to accept at first, but my doctor went over all my options (knowing how I felt from last time) and I am comfortable with the decision, since obviously my safety and the safety of my baby is more important than how she comes out.

I can't imagine staying with a doctor that I didn't see eye to eye with, my recommendation would be to try discussing this with your doctor again (stay calm while talking, I'd bring some research articles with you - ones published in medical journals) and if you still have a rift, choose another doctor.

TaylersMommy · September 2012

Take it from a LD/Post partum nurse, the single best thing you can do is learn how to advocate for yourself and designate someone who understands your wishes regarding your labor and birth experience to advocate for you. You never know what twists and turns your labor may take, but having someone to communicate your wishes when you are at your most vulnerable will be invaluable and ensure the experience is as close as possible to what you are envisioning. Reality is, you will see your doctor for a remarkably short time during your labor delivery. Are your annoyances primarily with the fact that your OB seems to disregard the prospect of water birth? Be reassured by the fact that the nurses will certainly know the hospital policies and how to manage a water birth, if like you mentioned, it is accepted at your hospital. I would caution you on "reeducating the staff". This sets a tone of defensiveness for everyone incolved. While it is true that some of the health professionals in obstetrics may not be well prepared to support a natural birth, most of us are armed with coping techniques for you and keeping with your wishes, will advocate for you to have the birth you want. That being said, our utmost priority is a safe delivery and ensuring a healthy Mama and baby at the end of it all. Therefore, you need someone truly there for YOU, as our job is to cover all of the medical bases to ensure the safety of you and baby. If your SO is fully prepared to support you by learning coping techniques to try, as well as how to calm you, and can also make important decisions for you if need be, then great! It is never a bad idea to hire a doula as well. Many women underestimate the amount of support that not only they themselves require, but that their SO may require during labor and delivery. More than just research, I encourage you to prepare yourself by practicing coping techniques/relaxation techniques now. Try not to be defensive with your birth plan and doubts that it will be followed. The nurses WILL respect it. However, I always take birth plans with a grain of salt so to speak, as do all of us in labor and delivery, because sometimes even the best laid plans go awry, and quickly! Be flexible, yet strong! And good luck to you Mama!!!

bandwife · September 2012

Glarification:
So, I'm preparing myself to have to reeducate a lot of the staff on certain things.

Probably not going to happen. And definitely not by the description of the hospital.

This is my second, first was born at home but in a different country. I actually had no hesitation about trying for an unmedicated birth at the hospital there, great set-up and my midwives had rights and there (chose home birth for other reasons). Similar but much smaller hospital where I am now that is very pro-unmedicated birth but I will probably try for a home birth again.

When you're up for it check out some recent posts on the natural birth boards from women that didn't get the experience they wanted in a hospital and an OB. Good tales of caution about advocating for yourself, being informed and possibly, switching providers or hospitals.

Get a doula, go to the hospital as late as possible, get your spouse on board with your plans.

Glarification · September 2012

Yes, I hope for the nurses to be some what better. It feels like the staff in the women's health center just aren't on board with those who are part of L&D, as I've had this happen before, one nurse telling me "No we don't do _____" and then touring L&D and having a nurse there tell me that they do allow it.

I'm trying to find a doula I can afford, and I also would love to go to a birthing center, but the closest one is an hour away. It feels like I'm stuck using this hospital because it's the one right up the street.

[PS: By Re-educate I just meant sharing information, not like drilling them with it. As aggravated as I was, I tried to be as polite as possible. They didn't really assign me an OB/GYN, they kind of just cycle them I think, who's ever on staff during your appointment basically. It's lame.]

I'm also planning to wait as long as I feel comfortable waiting at home before leaving for the hospital. It was nice to hear from a LD nurse, definitely helped to hear that. Thank you!!

Thanks for the reassurance, my family acts like I'm crazy when I tell them about switching care providers. Especially since the other is about an hour away. Definitely made me feel better about wanting to change to hear others suggest it. Thanks everyone.

ungraceful13 · September 2012

I haven't had any issues yet. I am going to talk more about it on Monday and if there is too much objection I will change doctors. We are not so far along that we cant do that.

pfluby · September 2012

Are there any midwives in you area? We are going with a midwife and they are very positive about getting you through your birth naturally.

LaurelBee · September 2012

My OB practice with Ds was similar to yours- 6 OBs in rotation and you never know who will end up delivering. I had to talk about my birth plan with each one. While I was able to have a med free hospital birth, there are so many things I regret bc I didn't advocate for myself. And of course my least favorite OB in the practice was the one to deliver Ds

I'm seeing MWs now (HB) and I can't tell you how crazy different my care is. She is my biggest advocate now for things that matter to me! I strongly rec that you at least look into other care options bc you really don't want that OB to be at your delivery when you can't trust him to know the policies and help you to have the birth you want. Of course a certain birth is not a given, but barring all health concerns and emergency circumstances, there is no reason your OB shouldn't be supportive

moonglow_84 · September 2012

My doctor asked me I think at my 12 wk appt what my plans were at that point, and I just told her... hospital, epidural, her delivering. We haven't gone over anything else yet at this point.

Definitely sounds like your doctor doesn't have much info on water births. I'd try to switch if you can.

OliveBeckett · September 2012

TaylersMommy:
the single best thing you can do is learn how to advocate for yourself and designate someone who understands your wishes regarding your labor and birth experience to advocate for you. You never know what twists and turns your labor may take, but having someone to communicate your wishes when you are at your most vulnerable will be invaluable and ensure the experience is as close as possible to what you are envisioning. .... Therefore, you need someone truly there for YOU, as our job is to cover all of the medical bases to ensure the safety of you and baby. If your SO is fully prepared to support you by learning coping techniques to try, as well as how to calm you, and can also make important decisions for you if need be, then great! It is never a bad idea to hire a doula as well. Many women underestimate the amount of support that not only they themselves require, but that their SO may require during labor and delivery. More than just research, I encourage you to prepare yourself by practicing coping techniques/relaxation techniques now. Try not to be defensive with your birth plan and doubts that it will be followed. The nurses WILL respect it. However, I always take birth plans with a grain of salt so to speak, as do all of us in labor and delivery, because sometimes even the best laid plans go awry, and quickly! Be flexible, yet strong! And good luck to you Mama!!!

After I met my doula for the first time I really understood the role she will play in the labor and I feel so much better. Here in the Mid South it is hospital & epidural only. I got laughed at when I asked about bathtubs in the LD rooms. My doctor said, who'd clean them? However, I'm not quite ready for a home birth so I need to find a middle ground for me and my DH.

Also, she led me to this link for a funny birth plan (sorry no clicky): https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan

pistolpackinmomma · September 2012

Glarification:
Yes, I hope for the nurses to be some what better. It feels like the staff in the women's health center just aren't on board with those who are part of L&D, as I've had this happen before, one nurse telling me "No we don't do _____" and then touring L&D and having a nurse there tell me that they do allow it.
I'm trying to find a doula I can afford, and I also would love to go to a birthing center, but the closest one is an hour away. It feels like I'm stuck using this hospital because it's the one right up the street.
[PS: By Re-educate I just meant sharing information, not like drilling them with it. As aggravated as I was, I tried to be as polite as possible. They didn't really assign me an OB/GYN, they kind of just cycle them I think, who's ever on staff during your appointment basically. It's lame.]
I'm also planning to wait as long as I feel comfortable waiting at home before leaving for the hospital. It was nice to hear from a LD nurse, definitely helped to hear that. Thank you!!
Thanks for the reassurance, my family acts like I'm crazy when I tell them about switching care providers. Especially since the other is about an hour away. Definitely made me feel better about wanting to change to hear others suggest it. Thanks everyone.

Being an hour away isn't the end of the world. My hospital is 45 minutes away, worse if you get stuck behind a tractor with no clear shot to pass.

drpayne · September 2012

I think the csection rate speaks for itself. Good luck "reeducating the staff"

. Im happy to be at a birthing center with midwives but I can tell you that not all hospitals/OBs are like that. I was transferred to the hospital last time with an big, OP baby who would not descend after 5 hours of pushing. As "natural birth minded" as I was, had they suggested a csection at that point, I probably would have agreed because I was out of my mind. Luckily, I got an OB who said "let's give you and epidural and let you rest for a while. Hopefully the baby will move into a better position and you can deliver vaginally." Is switching hospitals an option? Good luck.

ariellabe · September 2012

Allycat11:
I haven't experienced anything like that, my OB hasn't even brought up birth plan or hospital policies yet. However, if my OB and I really did not see eye to eye on something that important to me, I would change Dr's.

This! Because I'm just visualizing the doctor holding scalpel behind their back with a twitchy look in their eye.

My first pg ended in a c-section and I intended to go natural. In my case I know mine was necessary. With this pg, I had to switch from the midwife to OB. I'm very lucky that this OB is very pro-natural. He laid out all my options and told me to attempt VBAC rather than choosing to go under the knife.

My hospital is a teaching hospital too and he's one of the heads of the department - that makes a huge difference.

sbevmc09 · September 2012

The whole system is extremely frustrating. I really don't think you'll have much luck trying to educate people within the system though. As others have already stated your best bet is to switch care providers and hospital if possible.

FWIW, the hospital I'm going to be at (same hospital as last time, but with a different care provider) has similar C/S rates, but they are somewhat flexible with supporting natural birth. They have several natural-birth friendly laboring tools including tubs for water births. Now, of course they still try to tell you you can't deliver in the tub (not true, and my MW will deliver in the tubs) and things like that, but that's where a supportive provider is going to come in. They're really the ones calling the shots with things like continuous fetal monitoring and where you deliver and how.

Although I know that the hospital itself has a high C/S rate (or... I guess it's not even "high" it's pretty much in line with the national averages of 1 in 3 births ) they're also a major hospital were tons of providers deliver so to me, the provider themselves is going to be much more important to my odds than the hospital's overall rate. I live in a good sized city with access to a number of large hospitals and really all their C/S rates are pretty in line with the national average. I'm not necessarily saying that's a good thing, but IMO the care provider's history is going to make more of a difference to you individually.

2PuppiesHon · September 2012

TaylersMommy:
Take it from a LD/Post partum nurse, the single best thing you can do is learn how to advocate for yourself and designate someone who understands your wishes regarding your labor and birth experience to advocate for you. You never know what twists and turns your labor may take, but having someone to communicate your wishes when you are at your most vulnerable will be invaluable and ensure the experience is as close as possible to what you are envisioning. Reality is, you will see your doctor for a remarkably short time during your labor delivery. Are your annoyances primarily with the fact that your OB seems to disregard the prospect of water birth? Be reassured by the fact that the nurses will certainly know the hospital policies and how to manage a water birth, if like you mentioned, it is accepted at your hospital. I would caution you on "reeducating the staff". This sets a tone of defensiveness for everyone incolved. While it is true that some of the health professionals in obstetrics may not be well prepared to support a natural birth, most of us are armed with coping techniques for you and keeping with your wishes, will advocate for you to have the birth you want. That being said, our utmost priority is a safe delivery and ensuring a healthy Mama and baby at the end of it all. Therefore, you need someone truly there for YOU, as our job is to cover all of the medical bases to ensure the safety of you and baby. If your SO is fully prepared to support you by learning coping techniques to try, as well as how to calm you, and can also make important decisions for you if need be, then great! It is never a bad idea to hire a doula as well. Many women underestimate the amount of support that not only they themselves require, but that their SO may require during labor and delivery. More than just research, I encourage you to prepare yourself by practicing coping techniques/relaxation techniques now. Try not to be defensive with your birth plan and doubts that it will be followed. The nurses WILL respect it. However, I always take birth plans with a grain of salt so to speak, as do all of us in labor and delivery, because sometimes even the best laid plans go awry, and quickly! Be flexible, yet strong! And good luck to you Mama!!!

Well put - and great to hear the perspective from the other side!

eatmorecupcakes · September 2012

You might be in for a rude awakening unfortunately. There aren't any hospitals around here that will allow anything beyond laboring in the water. It doesn't mean it's unsafe, it's just not what they do. It's a sacrifice you make when you choose a hospital over a birthing center.

Also, if you go in with the attitude that you are there to "reeducate" the staff, then I'm not sure how receptive they will be to your wants and birth plan. I had an unmedicated birth at a hospital with my son. I was always very respectful with my requests but firm at the same time. I knew what my non negotiables were as well as what I was prepared to be flexible with.

The nurses and doctors are there to do a job and if you come in with a me against them mind set, you may find yourself with no one on your side. At the very least you might want to look into getting a doula or someone to help advocate for you when you are in labor.

I had a great hospital experience, but I also felt very comfortable with my hospital from the beginning.

littlemaybaby · September 2012

I am ALL for natural birth and an environment that suits your needs - I ditched my OB after my son was born and switched to midwives.

But it also sounds like you may not have a great understanding of how this works. Being completely honest, if you go in with the attitude of needing to reeducate the staff, they are going to treat you like ***. And that's just the plain and simple truth. No one wants to be told they don't know how to do their job and trust me you want these people to LOVE you . . . Not think you are an arrogant internet / television documentary educated jerk. (And I'm not suing that's what you are. I'm saying that is how you will be perceived if your mindset is that it's your job to re-educate people.)

Your best bet to get the birth you want is to bail on the "reeducate the staff" plan and move on to a much more amicable plan for everyone involved - ie: finding a doctor and birthing location with a better c-section rate and more natural friendly birthing options.

adventureolive · September 2012

I didn't even bother with a hospital. When I found out I was pregnant I immediately went to my sister's midwife. I knew that my OB/GYN and the hospital would push things I don't want- drugs, c-section, induction, circumcision, laboring on my back- and I just didn't want to deal with it.

poppyann · September 2012

I am planning a homebirth. My midwife lives an hour away from me. Thats considering we have good weather when i go into labor! The hospital we would transfer to incase of emergency is 30-45 minutes away from my house. The birthcenter I delivered at previously was about as far away as the hospital. Keep in mind I had a 4 hour labor start to baby in arms last time around. I don't think, for me personally, a birthcenter an hour away would be too big a deal.

landosmommy · September 2012

eatmorecupcakes:
You might be in for a rude awakening unfortunately. There aren't any hospitals around here that will allow anything beyond laboring in the water. It doesn't mean it's unsafe, it's just not what they do. It's a sacrifice you make when you choose a hospital over a birthing center. Also, if you go in with the attitude that you are there to "reeducate" the staff, then I'm not sure how receptive they will be to your wants and birth plan. I had an unmedicated birth at a hospital with my son. I was always very respectful with my requests but firm at the same time. I knew what my non negotiables were as well as what I was prepared to be flexible with. The nurses and doctors are there to do a job and if you come in with a me against them mind set, you may find yourself with no one on your side. At the very least you might want to look into getting a doula or someone to help advocate for you when you are in labor. I had a great hospital experience, but I also felt very comfortable with my hospital from the beginning.

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