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Well.... Live and learn....

greenteabeegreenteabee member
in Adoption

With the boundary issues I've been having with the possible AParents recently, I told them that I was reconsidering placement with them and that I no longer want them to come to the anatomy scan in three weeks. I know I shouldn't have invited them so quick now. Live and learn, I guess. I'm going to meet with the agency tomorrow to talk about possibly finding another match, and tell them basically what has been going on with the Aparents. I don't know if I will end up placing with them or not. This has been really hard, especially these last few weeks now that everything is sinking in.

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Re: Well.... Live and learn....

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    I'm very proud of you for having the hard conversations with people in your life and making these kinds of decisions. You have to make the choice that gives you the most peace, and if this family wasn't it, it's perfectly OK to change course.

     

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  • MrsZ816MrsZ816 member
    Your choice was not an easy one and your courage should be admired.  It would've been much easier to ignore the issues rather than stand up for yourself.  You have to be at peace with your decision.  I know I'm very new to the board and don't post a lot, but I am lurking often as we prepare to pick an agency as APs.  Your situation (as well as everyone here) has been in my prayers, praying that you find peace and right adoptive parents for your babies.  Thank you for sharing so much of your journey here, I feel that it has given me great insight for when I'm dealing with birth parents during my journey.
    Married 8/2009, TTC since 4/2010
    ME: 30, DOR- Low amh, normal fsh/afc DH: 30, morphology issue
    IVF #1- BFN
    IVF #2- BFP!!! Beautiful baby girl became an angel on 2/6/13 at 17.5 weeks due to PPROM/IC
    IVF #3- New RE... February March 2014! 8r/6m/6f. Transferred one and have one frostie! BFP! EDD 12/7/14
    **PAIF/SAIF welcome    **

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  • DaisyZHDaisyZH member
    I'm sorry that you've been having such a tough time, but it sounds like you did what is best for you and that is great because I know it's not easy.  I hope your agency can give you some guidance and support.  (( Hugs )) I'm sorry, I wish things didn't have to be so hard.


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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member

    I've been following your story, and I agree that it's important you feel comfortable with the couple and how they view you and your relationship.  I am very open and have a cat's curiosity, so I often overstep and ask intruding questions without meaning any harm or even realizing that the person I'm talking to might consider it too personal.  Still, I can't imagine pushing for information after someone has told me it makes them uncomfortable, especially someone who is considering trusting me with her child!  Since you remain uncomfortable with how she continues to try to cross the boundaries you establish and you worry that this is a sign she might not fulfill her promises of openness, I think you are doing the right thing by taking a step back.

    I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult thing, and I wish you the best going forward.

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