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Preemies
PhillyGal34
member
NICU visit for National Neonatal Nurse Day
PhillyGal34
member
in Preemies
In case you didn't know, today was National Neonatal Nurse Day.
I bought some cookies and cupcakes and a thank you card for the nurses and took an updated picture of my son and went on my way to the NICU. As I was driving there I started to think it was a really bad idea. I wasn't sure if I was ready to go back there where so much of my life had changed. But I went because they deserved to be thanked and I know from talking to some of them that they get really attached to some of the kids and the families and then they go on their way and never see them again.
I got to the hospital and parked, like I had tens of times in the 26 days we were there. I walked through the halls and got to the elevator. I saw two parents waiting for the elevator with the bands on their wrists... what I recognized as NICU bands. I got really sad for them but smiled. then I got on the elevator and forgot what floor to go to. I guessed... wrong. How could I forget something I had done so many times? When I finally got to the right floor it all hit me. I walked those hallways so many times before. Sad, scared, hopeful, excited, nervous... never knowing that my son was home safe with my husband. I had never walked the halls after he had been released. It was a first for me.
I got to the NICU and had tears in my eyes before I walked in the doors. I walked through and saw a family sitting there. Where my family had sat so many hours only two months ago. I smiled, a hopeful smile I hope. As soon as I turned the corner and saw the front desk I felt this weird sense of safety. This was a safe place. A place that knew me and knew what I had been through and saw me cry and saw me at my worst. Not showered, no sleep, scared and weak. The doctor that was there for my son's birth was working near the front desk and the receptionist recognized me immediately. I told them I brought something for the nurses as a small thank you and they asked how my son was doing. I proudly showed pictures and they went on and on about how "fat" he was... with pride in their voices.
They asked if I wanted to see any nurses.... and fortunately one of my all time favorites was working. She came out and as soon as she saw me she came through the double doors and gave me a huge hug. I got tears in my eyes again and fought hard to hold them in. As we were standing there a mom walked by with a nurse carrying her car seat. She was going home!!!!! I felt like my face was going to burst with my smile. The nurse told her that I had just taken my son home two months ago. The mom said "Congratulations to you!!" and I replied "No... congratulations to you, I am so happy for you!!!!" It's a moment only a NICU mom can understand and her smile spoke volumes. Finally walking out those doors with your baby. Wow.
So I stayed and talked to them for about 20 minutes and we looked through his pictures, talked about my return to work and how we are all adjusting. Then one of the nurses came out and they told her why I was there. She said she didn't even know about the holiday and that she was so thankful for what I had done (the cookies) and I laughed... what I had done??? I don't think they will ever fully grasp what they did for us and continue to do for families every day through those double doors.... cookies could never start to thank them enough for it. I've already put it in my calendar to go back next year if not before. It turned out to be really cathartic and although I've cried once or twice today they weren't really sad tears... they were tears for the kids that are all still in there and the families that are going through what we went through and tears of hope for them all. What a day!!!!
Have you ever gone back to visit? Do you plan on it??
ETA-sorry it was so long... just needed to clear my thoughts!
Our little hippo was as impatient as mom!
Hoping for a full 40 weeks!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NICU visit for National Neonatal Nurse Day
That's a lot of emotions - good for you, though. I think it's an important milestone as a mother. Eventually our preemies turn into toddlers and that's a part of our identity that isn't as prominent anymore. It's a strange shift. I hadn't realized it happened to me until it happened - like I was listening to someone in the thick of NICU and I was like wow, we got through!
I think there are two days for nurses - one was while DS was still in the hospital and I wanted to make them something, but my house had just burned down and I'd just had a preemie so I was pressed for time/money/sanity. I wrote them a card and taped it to his isolette - they were touched. ...and some had never even heard of it. I've kept in touch with a couple nurses in particular and always thank them (last year and today/this year).
As for will I go back? Here's the zaniest thing of all: I'm returning to volunteer in our former NICU. I want to give back and that's the best way I could think of (for me). I'm in a really good place now, though, and I zip up the elevators and feel none of the anxiety. I'm sure I'll have moments, but...yeah
that's awesome that you can volunteer there! I think I'd love that... some day if my NICU allows it. I clearly need more time before then but this felt like a big step for me. I saw the NICU through clearer eyes. I feel like I was in such a daze when he was there. I of course could not go back through the doors and I'm worried that if I did I would have lost it but just going back was good enough for me right now. It was emotional but more happy than sad so that's a win in my book.. and I made some nurses smile... double win!
Do you mind if I ask where you were? You can always PM me or just not answer - that's cool.
We have to be out of NICU a year before they'll let us return so it's something to keep in mind, for sure! I'm looking forward to it - bizarro world, right? "Looking forward to it."
I'm so happy for you! What a good day!
we went to Abington Memorial... they were amazing! mind if I ask where you were?
I think it is great that you are going back. I am sure moms will find comfort in someone who has been there (if they are looking for comfort. I know some families wanted to keep to themselves which I totally respect)
Oh, OK - I've heard of it, but not sure where that is. Did you like it overall? We were at HUP for 50 days, home for two weeks, then readmitted to CHOP for 8 (HUP only takes babies/children born there). We go to CHOP for all his f/ups - but I'm not particularly attached to that NICU - loyal to HUP all the way! It was the best.
They have a mentor program I've been training for which they didn't have while I was there. I can imagine some days I would have been up for it - others not at all. I went back and forth with the wind on how my mood was. CHOP had a ton of activities, but after everything that had happened leading up to the birth, getting through NICU, and finally being home I was NOT in the mood to scrapbook. Not a bit
It's ironic that you said that. Only last week I had to go near the hospital and took the route we always took. I cried the whole time. I definitely have good and bad days.
Hugs to you!!!!
I don't think they have a mentor program but I really wish they did. I may talk to someone about starting one... Down the line. I'm not there yet I still need to help me before I can help someone else. I can definitely see not wanting to do arts and crafts at a time like that!!
Ours holds a reunion too... not sure when though. I need to find out! I doubt we will go this year, I'm not sure I'm ready to have DS around that many kids yet but next year we will.
It truly amazes me how much my life changed in those 26 days. Not just because I had a baby but because my perspective on everything shifted. I cannot forget that and don't want to. There is a chance I will end up back there again if we have another baby (which I really hope to) so part of me thinks that staying connected will also help when and if that time comes.