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Working Moms
Coworker yelling cursing at me
I just completed my 1st week in a new job. The guy assigned to train me had done nothing but scream, yell, curse throw things at me. I LOVE the work/job but this guy is too much. He has been at the company for 30 years and it seems like everyone just puts up with his bull ***. I have been fighting back tears all day my hands are trembling. I feel like I can't go to any one for help. I don't know how I will get through Monday. I am suppose to have 8 weeks of training with him I NEED the training. Yes, I work in an industry where bullying is put up with expected.
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Re: Coworker yelling cursing at me
What?? What kind of industry is this? I am sorry you have to deal with that. It is completely inappropriate and unhealthy.
I had a boss once who was prone to adult temper tantrums and I used to tell him that I would not talk to him until he calmed down and was ready to speak to me appropriately. This is the same strategy I now use with my 3-year-old....go figure. I think if you are going to keep working in that type of environment you need to somehow establish healthy boundaries for yourself.
Hi Poppy- I have worked with surgeons, and there is a difference between being direct/candid and acting like a poorly disciplined toddler. I would stand up for yourself and let him know that you're happy to accept directions, but yelling, cursing, and especially throwing things is completly unacceptable. Beyond being unprofessional (and illegal if he's throwing things at you)- can you imagine what would happen if a patient witnessed that?
I don't think you'll get this person to do a 180, but I would make it clear that profanity and throwing needs to stop immediately. Tell him you think he needs a break to calm down and walk away. Mentally, it might help to think of this person as a giant baby having a tantrum and treat him accordingly as PP mentioned. Just as you wouldn't let a toddler throwing a tantrum make you feel like a bad person, don't let this person get you down. Just feel bad for him that he's obviously going through life as a miserable person.
I will let you know what happens on Monday. Wish me LUCK!
I am one, are you insinuating that all yell and scream and mistreat people? That certainly is not the case.....If you have an issue with a staff member it's easy to take care of in the hospital. You should write up your account of what happened in an email and send to your supervisor. If you do not get any response, you can go over your supervisor's head or directly to the division chair or department chair for surgery. I would not recommend that as a first step. If you are a nurse in a union, you can go to your union rep for direction as well. Most hospitals have specific behavior standards and policies regarding "no retribution" reporting.
ETA: I'm going to forget I saw the comment you made that bullying is accepted in the OR because that's silly and not true.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I would argue that it somewhat is. My DH is a med student. He has seen more temper tantrums from surgeons than any other doctor. And not just to him. To nurses, other students, residents... And he has been told just to take it.
Not all surgeons are that way. But there are some and it is too bad. The OP should stand up trot herself. But to say that bullying isn't accepted... Well, maybe not at your hospital. But many others it is part of the culture.
Though I'd agree that surgeons (particularly of a different generation perhaps) can have a reputation for that kind of behavior (not saying all or even many but compared to other specialties), I would talk to whoever is the most appropriate person about why this person was assigned to train you (or anyone) if that is his approach & see if maybe at some point in the 6 weeks you could be switched to someone else in a way that is just broadening your experience, so to speak (sounds like someone who may have a lot of clout there & you would want to tread delicately?).
GL.
NP
Sorry but to be frank, you husband is a medical student so at most he has done a three month rotation on surgery at one hospital. I have worked/trained at over 15 hospitals. I am a reconstructive surgeon so I do co-cases with surgeons of different specialties every week. I have worked with and trained under hundreds of surgeons. It is not the culture anywhere and it is an insulting stereotype that you are furthering with minimal/no evidence. The OP absolutely shouldn't put up with unprofessional behavior, but you have no idea what the surgical culture is anywhere and your incorrect, uninformed stereotype again is insulting.
I recently left the ER (worked there as an RN for 5 years) and went to Pre-Op and PACU at a different hospital. I worked with some doctors in the ER who could throw tantrums, but they always apologized after and it was no where near what the surgeons and anesthesiologists do now. Some of them are very friendly, helpful, but I have to say the many are very nasty and mean. I would say its a 50/50 split between the two. I have always dreaded having to page surgeons when I was a floor nurse if there was an issue with their patient because they were hardly ever helpful, they would just scream at you for paging them.
I feel my hospital will cater to the surgeons and let them act this way because they do bring money in. It doesn't make it right in anyway. My second week there I had a nasty anesthesiologist screaming for someone who actually knew what they were doing while he was doing a block in pre-op. It was motified and left crying because he made me feel so bad about myself. This was after I explained to him I was new and was able to help in anyway if he would just tell me what he needed. That wasn't enough though. He has a reputation f or treating the nurses like crap and he's been allowed to do it for 15 years.
I'm sorry that this surgeon is doing this. After my incident I went to my boss. She called a meeting with the head MDA and spoke about how they are treating her nurses. So far, it's been totally fine. I think my boss meeting with them made a huge difference and she wants to know if any of that behavior is ever seen again. You totally need to stand up for yourself. It takes balls because so many of these people have a superiority complex, but you are there to learn and assist in anyway. They need to be thankful what you bring to the table.
I feel awful for you. Regardless of what others do or say, you are entitled to a hostile free work environment. It sounds like your coworker is being physically and verbally abusive. It's unacceptable. I would try to be brave and confront him directly. Going behind his back right away and reporting it might add fuel to the fire. If he still continues his inappropriate behavior, I would report it to a higher up. His behavior needs to change. It's also not helpful in the work environment. He obviously is impacting your performance by making you feel unnecessarily uneasy. Don't take that BS!!! Stay strong and a reminder you are CORRECT in thinking his behavior is inappropriate. You have a lot of bumpies here that support you. I hope everything works out for you. GL!