"It's just like when you adopt a dog..."

Mush-Tastic · September 2012

If I hear this, or some statement like this one more time, I am gonna start losing it on people.

People are curious and ask about our adoption all the time. They ask where we are in the process, how the home study is going, etc.

Last night was the 5th time in the last month and a half someone has equaled our adopting a baby to the same thing as "adopting a dog from a rescue agency."

We adopted both our cat and our dog and I can assure you...it isn't even remotely close to the same. If you want to go ahead and think that 4-5 months of interviews, papers to be written, physical exams, hours upon hours of online education, home inspections, seminars, our finances scrutinized, etc is the same thing as adopting a dog, I can't stop you, but it really REALLY burns me up.

Tell me I'm not the only one who gets this comment...I can't be. I've learned to literally just get up and walk away.

dholsapp · September 2012

I am a teacher, and I since we have been matched with a mom due at the end of October I figured I needed to tell them that there is a good chance I will be out for 6 weeks at that time. So I asked them to explain to me what they thought adoption was and one girl said, "Adoption is kind of like a garage sale. People can sell the things they don't want anymore and then someone else owns them." Coming from a 4th grader it was pretty funny and gave me the chance to educate the class on what adoption really is!

Art Teacher · September 2012

As frustrating as it is, I would take the time and educate that person and say, "No it isn't remotely like that...and then list off what was involved (not to mention the years it may have taken you to get to that point and what's involved afterwards.)"

I think people will just say the first things that come into their heads. We didn't get that same comment but I got the whole "you'll get pg now" thing. Equally irritating. I guess people think it's helpful - I flat out told a coworker she was being hurtful when she said that. I also told her why. Who knows if she really "got it" at that point, but I couldn't not say something.

Sorry that was said to you, especially so many times.

MayDayGirl · September 2012

Not to mention our children should NEVER be compared to an animal!! Let alone one who needs rescuing!

kmkaull2 · September 2012

Ugh, I know! My cousin is rescuing a greyhound and posts about it constantly on Facebook. The other day she said she now understands what it is like to adopt a human based on all the paperwork she has to fill out. I quickly told her that that was a ridiculous statement. Shut her up. ;-) With this topic, I think you just have to be blunt.

Mrs.Slick · September 2012

My aunt and uncle joked that they had to fill out more paperwork for their new dog than when they adopted their 2nd child. But the joke was at the expense of the dog shelter, not the adoptions agency/process.

But it's one of those things like the older sibling can make fun of the younger one but if someone else does then the older sibling gets up in arms about it.

sarahtoledo · September 2012

I foster dogs (and make adoption decisions) and would NEVER say that. Smile

I suppose people are just trying to relate? IDK, people drive me nuts lately.

IRR · September 2012

Just shaking my head at this one. Hang in there.

Foster1Mom · September 2012

Then ignorance of people never stops amazing me.

Dr.Loretta · September 2012

Just my opinion, but pets and pet adoption have gotten to the point that they are like children to so many people. So I increasingly see people treating their pets, and process to get them, to be equivalent to children. I'm not that type of person, but I can see why you're hearing it. I personally have never heard it.

DaisyZH · September 2012

Ugh, that is over-the-top. They are probably just trying to relate to you and I know we all say things we don't mean and put our foot in our mouths but I'm sorry you've had to hear it that many times.

Ranitasback · September 2012

This is maddening. I'm so sorry. I gotta say as wonderful as pet adoption is, it really does get out of proportion in some people's minds and this is one example. We adopted our son 3 years ago so I fully remember the scrutiny and stress of having to be deemed worthy to parent and then hoping to be matched. Then last year we thought it would be fun for our son to have a bunny so we went to a shelter to adopt one rather than buying one from a pet store and the lady there seriously tried to put us through the gauntlet. I mean I realize that's it's her responsibility to find good homes and for these little creatures but when she started to make us feel unworthy to own a rodent I got upset at how much she wanted us to turn our lives upside down for her approval and the rabbit home study. It is NOT the same thing at all and shouldn't be treated the same...

ellekae · September 2012

Ranitasback:
I got upset at how much she wanted us to turn our lives upside down for her approval and the rabbit home study. It is NOT the same thing at all and shouldn't be treated the same...

Holy cow. There is such thing as a "rabbit home study"? What is going on with the world?

We had like 4 pages to fill out to adopt our puppy from a rescue, and I thought that was a lot for a dog. But a home study? That's crazy talk.

kacelle · September 2012

ellekae:
Ranitasback:
I got upset at how much she wanted us to turn our lives upside down for her approval and the rabbit home study. It is NOT the same thing at all and shouldn't be treated the same...
Holy cow. There is such thing as a "rabbit home study"? What is going on with the world?
We had like 4 pages to fill out to adopt our puppy from a rescue, and I thought that was a lot for a dog. But a home study? That's crazy talk.

No kidding! That's insane!

sarahtoledo · September 2012

ellekae:
Ranitasback:
I got upset at how much she wanted us to turn our lives upside down for her approval and the rabbit home study. It is NOT the same thing at all and shouldn't be treated the same...
Holy cow. There is such thing as a "rabbit home study"? What is going on with the world?
We had like 4 pages to fill out to adopt our puppy from a rescue, and I thought that was a lot for a dog. But a home study? That's crazy talk.

I adopt dogs out and we do a home visit, but I have never heard anyone call it a home study. I'm guessing that's a misunderstanding. We do a home visit to make sure the people live where they say they live (not in an apartment that doesn't allow pets, for example), that they have a fence if they said they did, and that they're not animal hoarders or breeders. Especially for first-time puppy or dog owners, we point out possible dangers, like poisonous plants or a fence that needs to be reinforced, and for experienced owners, see how the other pets seem to be treated.

I must also add that most rescue pets have been shuffled around too much already, and I feel responsible for making sure that we do our very best to place them in forever homes. Too many end up dumped yet again.

Misha08 · September 2012

I have never had the comparison of pet adoption before (thank goodness because I would not know where to start on that one!) I want to tell people our story (the good and bad) so they can know us and know that it is not the "easy way". But I also want to educate people so they will open their eyes and think about adoption. I am scared of going on and on too much about all the hoops of scaring people thinking about it out of it.

Anywho, I try not to let people's ignorant comments get the best of me, but I have been hearing this one a lot recently and was wondering if you guys have any good responses.

So I was talking with another woman a little younger than me (I am 29) who has a 3 month old. I told her I do not have children yet but that we were adopting in a very positive way. So she said "So do you want kids of your own, or just adopt?" Now I know the wording was bad (ie, "of your own", "just adopt") but I don't like this question even if she had worded it better. I don't want to jump down her throat, but I also don't want to let it slide and she feel it is ok to ask. Please tell me if I am way off, but I feel even if we were able to conceive, this would be a bad question. Am I wrong? Any advice on how to handle this re-occuring situation would be greatly accepted!

silliestbunny · September 2012

kacelle:
ellekae:

Ranitasback:
I got upset at how much she wanted us to turn our lives upside down for her approval and the rabbit home study. It is NOT the same thing at all and shouldn't be treated the same...

Holy cow. There is such thing as a "rabbit home study"? What is going on with the world?

We had like 4 pages to fill out to adopt our puppy from a rescue, and I thought that was a lot for a dog. But a home study? That's crazy talk.

No kidding! That's insane!

Okay, I know we are terribly off topic but I can't help but talk about rescuing rabbits.... Rabbit people can be a bit intense because there are regulary exchanges on Craigslist for rabbits for snake food..... and with any pet, if you've ever raised one, you can't help but get sick at the idea of it being used for food. As for scrutiny, rabbits don't belong in every house and people often underestimate the care, expense, etc for good bunny care. Bunnies , like most "pocket pets" aren't great for small children.

There's also the issues that people want bunnies for Easter pets but don't think about them long term. Most people don't realize a healty bunny should be spayed or neutered... which tends to run atleast $185 because bunnies are considered exotic animals in the vet community.

We were frowned upon two weeks ago when we looked at the bunnies at a local resuce becuase we had two toddlers w/us. Bunny people often don't like to adopt to families with small children because small children have been known to seriously harm them... and even worse... through their excitement.

And your last fact from your resident crazy bunny lady (really I am not crazy... just learned alot by having buns for pet the last eight years), they aren't rodents Really, they aren't!

sarahtoledo · September 2012

silliestbunny:
kacelle:
ellekae:

Ranitasback:
I got upset at how much she wanted us to turn our lives upside down for her approval and the rabbit home study. It is NOT the same thing at all and shouldn't be treated the same...

Holy cow. There is such thing as a "rabbit home study"? What is going on with the world?

We had like 4 pages to fill out to adopt our puppy from a rescue, and I thought that was a lot for a dog. But a home study? That's crazy talk.

No kidding! That's insane!

Okay, I know we are terribly off topic but I can't help but talk about rescuing rabbits.... Rabbit people can be a bit intense because there are regulary exchanges on Craigslist for rabbits for snake food..... and with any pet, if you've ever raised one, you can't help but get sick at the idea of it being used for food. As for scrutiny, rabbits don't belong in every house and people often underestimate the care, expense, etc for good bunny care. Bunnies , like most "pocket pets" aren't great for small children.

There's also the issues that people want bunnies for Easter pets but don't think about them long term. Most people don't realize a healty bunny should be spayed or neutered... which tends to run atleast $185 because bunnies are considered exotic animals in the vet community.

We were frowned upon two weeks ago when we looked at the bunnies at a local resuce becuase we had two toddlers w/us. Bunny people often don't like to adopt to families with small children because small children have been known to seriously harm them... and even worse... through their excitement.

And your last fact from your resident crazy bunny lady (really I am not crazy... just learned alot by having buns for pet the last eight years), they aren't rodents Really, they aren't!

We have two rescue buns. Smile They used to be considered rodents, right, but now they're lagomorphs?

CaptainSerious · September 2012

I would not have been able to hold my tounge. I get that some people consider their animals similar to human children, but even as a lover of all things furry, I will never share in that mentality. It drives me nuts when people who are not parents assume the relationship is the same. Even my friends who love their animals in the most intense way and spoil them to death would tell you that the connection to their human children is even more powerful. So, in my mind, any comparison to pets or their adoption is completely inappropriate and insulting.

The only other thing I got out of this post was RANITA'S BACK!!!

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