DS not behaving in K but good at home? ADHD?

HAFranklin · September 2012

My Ds just started K. He is extremely bright, and a very well behaved kid. However, at school, he is coming home everyday with a note saying he isn't following directions, won't stay in his seat etc. The teacher thinks he may need to be evaluated for ADHD, but I do not see this behavior at home. I received a copy of the syllabus for the year, and there is not a single thing listed that he doesn't already know or do. Do you think he could just be bored? Maybe just not mature enough to handle a large classroom setting? (PreK only had 12 kids in his class with 2 teachers, whereas K has 30 kids and 1 teacher) If he does have ADHD, would it be typical to only show these signs at school and not at home or other settings (Sunday school, with babysitters etc)?

Thanks in advance

HAFranklin · September 2012

Thanks for the reply, auntie.

To answer your questions... I think I am rather strict. We follow a rigid routine, and have both a negative and positive reinforcement system. However, he is an only child (for the time being) and I am a SAHM, so he is used to getting all of my attention all of the time.

I have also wondered about the new baby being a catalyst, but he seems very happy and excited to be getting a sibling, He talks about the baby constantly, but maybe the reality that she is coming very soon is setting in?

I totally agree about classroom etiquette. That is the main reason we chose to send him full day as opposed to half. We wanted him to get the full classroom experience before starting 1st grade where it is not an option. Pre K was only 3.5 hrs, 4 days a week, so this is a big change.

He does very well in Sunday school. He sits still for the entire hour and works diligently and listens well. However, the teacher is my Mom whom he spends a great deal of time with, and there are only 3 kids on average.

I was taken aback by her ADHD comment. Like you, my first thought was "Oh, I didnt know you were a Dr.!" But after thinking about it, she has been teaching K for 15 years, and probably has a lot of experience dealing with kids with ADHD. She seems very sympathetic and concerned and not at all annoyed or exasperated. Maybe I should just give him a little more time to adjust... I would rather just be proactive in the matter if there is a problem.

shopgirl78 · September 2012

Last year, DS1 received a similar comment; however, he was in PreK3. And like your son, he wasn't as "bad" at home. My sons issues were more defiant in the classroom. He also had 4 boys in the same afterschool program and they were tight (and troublesome), all are seperated this year. I had lots of training and education in behavior issues (not so much with young children) but we tried everything we could think of. I even spoke to a behavioralist where I worked. I loved his teacher; she was an excellent teacher. Despite this, I'm not sure she was the best teacher for DS. In the last 3 weeks with his new teacher this year, he has done a lot better. She has a totally different personality. I am not sure if it was maturity or the teacher but something has improved. Luckily (?) the school wasn't too quick to test/diagnosis (in fact they wanted to refer me out~ where I worked). I really wanted to wait of a second classroom opinion. My son is only in PreK4 now if we find ourselves in the same situation then I would be much more likely to comply.

Some suggestions: volunteer/observe in the classroom (though I never saw the defiant behavior while I was there for DS1), review/practice classroom routines~ my son had issues with transitions, PreK3 is a short day and very compact= they schedule may have been harder for my son (opposite for your son), etc

jlw2505 · September 2012

My DD was diagnosed with ADHD last fall at age 5. We saw the behaviors at home and at school and they were present at daycare when she was younger. She had great days and horrible days a lot of in between days. She also had a speech delay and due to brain injury at birth, had always been observed through the school system. After a lot of concern was expressed by us and her PreK teachers (we held her back a year as she is a summer baby, has a speech delay and was very immature and behind her peers) we called our ped to see what she thought and we were referred to our medical centers pediatric behavioral clinic. Best thing that happened for my DD. While the process was long - 1st called in April, had initial meeting in May where they decided a full eval should be done. The 2 day intense eval did not happen until August. Her teachers, us and her ped all had to fill out tons and tons of forms and then the eval was done over 2 days and at the end, we met with her team of docs and came up with a plan. We were not surprised by my DD's diagnoses at all as we saw the behaviors no matter where we were. Sounds to me like you have a ton of change going on and that may be a big cause of the behaviors and it could also be simple being in a large classroom all day in a more formal setting than he is used to or a teacher that is not the right fit for him. I personally would give it a few more weeks and see if your DS settles down. I would talk with him about the right way to behave and role play different situations with the right way to behave or respond to comments. If he is still really having issues say in late Oct, I would go through the process of the eval either at school or call your ped for a recommendation to a child behavioral specialist and go from there. My DD has an IEP for her speech and special accomdations written for her ADHD that is separate from the IEP and the official paperwork with her diagnosis is in her file in case anything comes up this year or anytime during her school career that will require her to get more testing/more acomdations or special services.

peacelove&mama · September 2012

My 6 year old son was formally diagnosed with ADHD last year. His behaviour at school is a lot worse, but he does still show signs at home or at other activities. The impulsiveness, the agression, the absent-minded "ticks" (ie. chewing on clothing and blankets, peeling paint off the time out corner wall). I have visual reminders and charts everywhere, because if I don't, I have to follow him around reminding him what to do constantly, and it's not good for my sanity.

Before I switched him to a school that is geared toward special needs kids, there were 19 other kids in his classroom and a million and one distractions. Once a teacher or EA was able to get him calmed down enough to do his work, he would be finished before all the other kids and unable to wait for everyone to catch up, which was one of his greatest problem areas. He's very smart, works very quickly, and simply can't handle downtime. I don't have much trouble keeping him on track at home, because I can be one on one with him whenever he needs me to be.

I would have him evaluated. If he has ADHD, you can work on finding the treatment that is right for him. If not, you and the teacher can brainstorm ways to keep him more engaged and challenged in the classroom, and thus less likely to act out.

flyingsaucer · September 2012

As a teacher, I think it is WAY too early for a teacher to suggest an eval and totally inappropriate for her to say ADHD... As pp said, teachers are not qualified to diagnose.

This is your child's first time in this school, and it is a huge adjustment.

I would discuss this with the principal ASAP and work with the school to help your son learn the rules and expectations of his new environment.

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DS not behaving in K but good at home? ADHD?

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