April 2013 Moms

Ob - Not Sure What to Do???

So I recently moved and had to find a new OB with this pregnancy (totally bummed because I loved my other one and my birth experience was great).  I found one online who had great reviews.  I have been to see him twice but I am just not too fond of him.  There is nothing wrong with him.  He seems nice enough (sort of monotone and dull but nice enough) and seems like he will be a good doctor but I am just not sold.  His technology is really outdated (which concerns me that he is not as current).  Also, based on the questions I asked him, he doesn't seem to have the same opinions as I do when it comes to delivery.  Since this is my second I know what I want (or am hoping for). 

 I really hate looking for new doctors.  It took me forever to find this one so part of me just wants to stick it out especially since I have already done the bloodwork and first ultrasound.  I am not sure if it is just in my head.  Plus I'm not sure if a new one would be any better (maybe my expectations are up) but I really want to like my ob and be able to create a relationship.  Any suggestions?  My DH says that if I think he won't be a good doctor then switch, otherwise, just stick with him. 

End of rant.  :)

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Re: Ob - Not Sure What to Do???

  • I would switch ASAP!

     I did NOT like my doc with my first one, but I stuck with her.  As we were sitting there like 3 weeks before my due date filling out my birth plan together.....she proceeded to cross out half of what I wrote and fill in things that I DID NOT WANT!  If it was at all possible to switch doctors at that point, I would have and really wished that I had trusted my gut early on that told me to try someone else.  Luckily, my horrible doc was on vacation the week I delivered so one of the other doctors in the practice delivered my baby and she was awesome and I got every single thing I wanted on my birth plan to come true.

     Trust yourself now before it's too late to change. Yes, it will suck starting all over again, but it just sounds like it won't get any better to me. 

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  • I look for competancy over warm fuzzies.  I don't care if my Dr. and I are really friendly as long as I feel that he/she has excellent baby delivery skills.

     You have to decide if it's a matter of being comfortable with him, but not liking his personality - or if you are worried about his abilities as an OB to deliver your baby safely.

    No matter what his personal philosophy is they won't do anything at the hospital you don't approve of.  If you are armed with a birth plan and you discuss it all with your Dr. I think you should be fine, even if he has a different opinion.

    It doesn't hurt to do a little research and look at your options. But I personally wouldn't change as long as he's competent and has good reviews.  I have a dentist with a horrid personality, but he's so good I just deal with it, so I kind of understand what your saying about personalities not meshing.

    Lucky Mom to 5 girls: 09/97, 06/99, 10/02, 11/04, 04/08 & Peanut #6 due in April! Pregnancy Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Call your old doctor and ask for a referal.  They may know someone in your new area that is good and has a similar style.

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  • I am a believer that one should "mesh" with the OB.  I have a good friend who went to my ob for her first appointment and hated him but I absolutely love him and the whole practice.  It is purely a difference of expectation. DH and I are laid-back and generally content to know that we can ask for info and resources and get them but we don't need overloaded.  She wants all resources at her fingertips when she's pregnant and needs lengthy, all-inclusive appointments with her OB to feel good about the service.  The same doc is never going to work for both of us. 

    Obviously... I would look elsewhere if you're worried about the OB's competency, too.   Out-dated technologies don't bode well for other aspects of the practice, if you ask me.  I want my "lady doctors" to be pretty current, you know?


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  • imagelibfish825:

    Obviously... I would look elsewhere if you're worried about the OB's competency, too.   Out-dated technologies don't bode well for other aspects of the practice, if you ask me.  I want my "lady doctors" to be pretty current, you know?

    *giggle*  She said, "lady doctor"  I love it! That's what I'll start calling my OB from now on.

    Lucky Mom to 5 girls: 09/97, 06/99, 10/02, 11/04, 04/08 & Peanut #6 due in April! Pregnancy Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • imagetcfreedom:

    I look for competancy over warm fuzzies.  I don't care if my Dr. and I are really friendly as long as I feel that he/she has excellent baby delivery skills.

     You have to decide if it's a matter of being comfortable with him, but not liking his personality - or if you are worried about his abilities as an OB to deliver your baby safely.

    No matter what his personal philosophy is they won't do anything at the hospital you don't approve of.  If you are armed with a birth plan and you discuss it all with your Dr. I think you should be fine, even if he has a different opinion.

    It doesn't hurt to do a little research and look at your options. But I personally wouldn't change as long as he's competent and has good reviews.  I have a dentist with a horrid personality, but he's so good I just deal with it, so I kind of understand what your saying about personalities not meshing.

    This is not necessarily true. If you are having a tough labor, it can be easy to get talked into interventions you may not want and that may not be necessary, just convenient.

    While you don't have to be best friends with your doctor/midwife, I do think it is important to feel like they are on your side and on board with your plans. You do not want to end up in a position where you will be fighting with your OB/MW and hospital every step of the way. Labor is hard enough without battling for what you want.

    Personally, I'd want to have a doctor or midwife I feel 100% comfortable with.  

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  • imageKrisM86:
    imagetcfreedom:

    I look for competancy over warm fuzzies.  I don't care if my Dr. and I are really friendly as long as I feel that he/she has excellent baby delivery skills.


     You have to decide if it's a matter of being comfortable with him, but not liking his personality - or if you are worried about his abilities as an OB to deliver your baby safely.


    No matter what his personal philosophy is they won't do anything at the hospital you don't approve of.  If you are armed with a birth plan and you discuss it all with your Dr. I think you should be fine, even if he has a different opinion.


    It doesn't hurt to do a little research and look at your options. But I personally wouldn't change as long as he's competent and has good reviews.  I have a dentist with a horrid personality, but he's so good I just deal with it, so I kind of understand what your saying about personalities not meshing.

    This is not necessarily true. If you are having a tough labor, it can be easy to get talked into interventions you may not want and that may not be necessary, just convenient.

    While you don't have to be best friends with your doctor/midwife, I do think it is important to feel like they are on your side and on board with your plans. You do not want to end up in a position where you will be fighting with your OB/MW and hospital every step of the way. Labor is hard enough without battling for what you want.

    Personally, I'd want to have a doctor or midwife I feel 100% comfortable with.  



    Ditto. You want a doctor with a similar birthing philosophy so that you don't have to fight so hard for the birthing experience you want if/when labor gets tough.

    I would keep looking. Nothing is stopping you from going to that guy if you don't find one you like better.
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  • After having a "meh" experience with my OB last time, we switched to a midwifery practice for this pregnancy and are already SO thrilled with the experience. The amount of time they take with us, the follow-up, etc. has been really impressive.
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  • I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm at an OB practice and so far I've only liked 2 out of the 4 people I've seen there, one Dr and one mw. Although they seem to be able to give me the type of LD I would want, I have felt like I haven't been able to get my questioned answered during at least one appt. At the last one I found out that a Dr would only be there for emergencies and I'm not sure how I feel about that. If everything went smoothly I wouldn't care, but I have a somewhat complicated medical history, not pg related, but it may cause issues during delivery. I was so stressed out about this before I left on a 3 week trip, but decided to deal with it when I get back. I will probably at least look into going somewhere else.

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  • I say it can't hurt to see another Dr and choose which one you like best :)
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