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chicagocubsfan23
member
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Lurker with a NBR question
chicagocubsfan23
member
in Baby Showers
I usually just lurk on this board but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and wondered if I could get your ladies opinions! My cousin's daughter who is also my Goddaughter's birthday is in a few weeks. When she was first born I lived by my cousin and I had her every day for the first 5 years of her life, so her and I are VERY close. I have never missed a birthday, gymnastics tournament, or dance recital. However, this year, I think I may have to. My cousin and her boyfriend just bought a large house together, big enough to have the whole family in, but she doesn't want to clean or make any food so she is having the party at Happy Joe's, which is fine, but she also isn't buying any of the food for people (I know because she never does). I just came off maternity leave (half of which was unpaid) and so DH and I have been pinching pennies to cover the unpaid part. The party is 2 1/2 hours away so between gas and a birthday gift, AND having to pay for our meals, I just don't think we can make it. My cousin is mad because she doesn't seem to get it. Would you ladies just suck it up and go or would you politely decline and make it up to my Goddaughter once we've got another check coming in?
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Re: Lurker with a NBR question
I would decline and a send gift with a card for the little girl explaining that you regret you were unable to be with her for this birthday but hope she had a great time.
Now that you have a child you really have to think of what is best for your family first. If going is going to put you into a bind I would skip it. I would not want to have to stress over if I can buy diapers or groceries just to make a family member happy.
Having guests pa at your own child's birthday is beyond tacky, but it's not the child's fault that she has idiot parents so I get where your dilemma.
Personally, I understand having to pinch pennies so I would politely decline and perhaps come up within a week and take your goddaughter out for a special birthday celebration at the park and give her the present you got her and maybe a special treat liek a cupcake and apologize for not being able to make it to her birthday party. The little girl likely will be much more interested in having fun and the other kids being there than worrying about if you are there, she will likely appreciate having you on a special day all to herself because it will seem to stretch her b-day out over a longer period of time kwim?
Well, I bet your goddaughter would just like to see you-especially if she's used to seeing you everyday and now it's a long trip. What about making the trip (pack a bunch of snacks in the car) and just order something really cheap off the menu- you and DH could split something and get waters, and tell your goddaughter that for her present, you will take her out for a girl's day in XX weeks (after you're getting paid again).
She's going to be getting so many presents, I'm sure she won't miss one extra toy. And I bet she'd really love it if you took her out for lunch and a pedicure or a trip to the toy store or whatever in a few weeks.
I think what kids really appreciate is time and attention, not necessarily the monetary value of the gifts. If you can swing the $ for gas, I'd try your best to make it.
I think I may go another route. It is extremely tacky for your cousin to have a birthday party and expect everyone to pay for their own meals and bring gifts. I would have to go the snarky route and say something to her like " Oh, it is so nice of you to host everyone for Susie's birthday party! Gosh that is going to be expensive to pay for everyone's meals!" And when she says she isn't going to act all shocked and say oh wow, that's unusual, uh, ok... Well then we can't really afford to come. I will have to have another day with Susie.
Good luck!