Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Feel like you missed out the first time?
I do not know how far long you are but if you feel like your OB is not super supportive I urge you to find an OB where you do not have to question their level of support. Did you ask him pointed questions like from this website?...https://vbacfacts.com/2009/06/06/interviewing-care-providers-questions-to-ask/
I completly relate on the "missing out" feeling. It was a long time before I could watch baby labor shows or even see baby labor pictures without crying. I am sad that I didn't get that feeling of pushing my baby out and having her lay on my chest etc. I had an emergency c-section and didn't get to see my daughter for about 6 hours.
I am planning a VBAC this time around and have tried to do everything I can to plan for success. I switched OB's to an office that is very VBAC friendly and said they have and 80% success rate. I also hired a doula to be there for support as I am also hoping for med free.
If you have the ability I would consider switching doctor's or at least do your research and stick to your guns so they don't try and talk you into a RCS. My new office hasn't treated me any differently and has never said the word CS.
Good Luck to you
Yes, I definitely felt like I missed out, especially because I never really felt like my c/s was necessary.
Your doctor doesn't sound supportive. I think you should look into other options in your area. If a doctor is not on board with a VBAC, they will find a reason to c/s you again.
Yep, I definitely felt like I missed out on something with my c-section. I think a lot of that had to do with it being unplanned so I was 100% prepared for a different birthing experience and it totally threw me off! It's been almost 3 years and I've since had a VBAC and I still feel sad looking back on my c/s :-(
Stand your ground with the OB!! You have every right to try for a VBAC so don't let him get you down. It's awesome that your DH is supportive!
Very, very much so! Dan will be a year old in less than three weeks and I still have that tinge of disappointment when I look back to those few weeks. I went two weeks past my due date and because all of the ultrasound techs estimated his weight to be just over 8lbs, the doctors/ nurse practitioner wasn't very aggressive in getting labor moving. As it turns out, he was 9lbs10oz and crooked so his head wasn't where it needed to be to start effacement and that good stuff. On top of that, thanks to massive amounts of swelling, they used staples in the hopes my stomach with drain better. My first day home after they took out the staples, my incision popped open while I was in the shower and my RN mom had to tape me back shut.
For the next little one, I'm determined to find a hospital that will consider inducing me early and be supportive of a VBAC. My husband doesn't entirely understand what my thought process is-- all he sees is that we have a very healthy baby. He doesn't get that I was terrified of the spinal, I missed holding my son first, of having him on my chest immediately after... I honestly had no connection to Dan for the first week or so after delivery. It didn't help that formula was forced onto us because of a tongue-tie that kept Danny from nursing...
We only get so many birthing experiences in our lives-- might as well do what it takes to make each one count!