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I have a crush

chickenshytAEchickenshytAE
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I'm using an AE, obviously. Some of you know me, so I want to be anonymous with this.

 

I have a crush on a guy at work, even though I am happily married and love my life and don't want to mess anything up. But I can't seem to help how this guy makes me feel. I don't even want to speculate if the feelings are mutual.

Now this is where you all come in and tell me I'm a sh!tty person, and to wake the eff up and to grow up.

And then you tell me how to shut those feelings off.

Thanks.

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Re: I have a crush

  • XCrissCrossXXCrissCrossX member
    Is it an unrequited crush or is he paying attention to you? If the later, I'm betting that it's new and exciting and you've grown comfortable with your DH-- too comfortable. I think you should avoid the guy and try to spice up your romance and sex life. Dates, new bedroom moves, etc.
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  • rlmanningrlmanning member

    imageJellyBellyStar:
    I don't think you are a bad person.  However, I do think you have to really think about what this type of affair (emotional at this point) could do to your marriage.  Slowly it can deteriorate your relationship with DH b/c he wont compare to the fantasy you may have created in your mind about this other guy.  You should look at your marriage and see if there is anything you can do (or your husband can do) that will help you both spice things up.  Hugs.

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  • swimiz500swimiz500 member

    Okay, first off, you are in no way a sh!tty person. You are just a person, and these things happen. I have had a similar situation (DH knows about it, so I don't feel too weird bringing it up on here), and like you, did not even want to speculate about the mutual feelings (and to be honest, I was way too scared to know!). 

    I don't think you can make them go away, unfortunately. They haven't completely for me. But you can of course decide how you want to go about handling it. If you are happy with your life and your DH, then you  need to do what PPs have suggested, like spicing things up at home, and making sure that you don't glamorize this other person. Because really, think about it this way: Say you were to actually be with him, the same way you are with DH. What would be different? Probably not much. It is more the fantasy of the whole thing that is thrilling and exciting, because in all reality, it would probably not end up being the way you are picturing it. I hope I have made some sense, and also know that you are certainly not alone, and good for you for knowing that it cannot go further and want to turn off the feelings! That means you are a good person, not a sh!tty one. 

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