How do you honestly feel about no-gift parties?

pea-kay · September 2012

[poll]

JoannaJes · September 2012

Somewhere in between. We have a lot of toys, but I also know some people bristle at being told what to bring or not bring to a party. And really, we have only had family parties up until now (and they mostly buy clothes/pajamas, which I appreciate).

KathrynMD · September 2012

I've only been to one no gift party, which I liked.

I'm going to try to start a no gift policy at DD's party this year. I appreciate that people want to get gifts, but as far as the small 15-20 gifts from her friends, they just become clutter. If I have a smaller party than last year (say 5 or so friends) I might be OK w/ presents.

I'm not going to do the no gift thing for our parents/immediate family and I'm not going to suggest a donation or anything in lieu of gifts, that seems weird to me.

AgrippaRidesAgain · September 2012

I always feel uncomfortable at them b/c we turn out to be the only people that followed the no gifts "rule".

Also, pea-kay, I love your sig pic. :-) It's sad, but I always feel relieved when I see other kids that are DS's age not always behaving like angels.

pea-kay · September 2012

AgrippaRidesAgain:
Also, pea-kay, I love your sig pic. :-) It's sad, but I always feel relieved when I see other kids that are DS's age not always behaving like angels.

ha! more realistic would be TWO of them crying or whining or fighting over a toy, but this is what i got.

NerdyMama2 · September 2012

I always feel uncomfortable, because I don't know whether to bring a gift or not.

ToBeMrsT · September 2012

We went to one recently and I felt weird not bringing anything so we just got a book for the birthday girl. We were the only ones that brought something small like that, everyone else brought big presents.

lauren&matt · September 2012

I love it! It's becoming more popular in our circle and when the invite says no gifts, I don't bring one... not even a card.

dd's party will be no gifts and I seriously mean it.

lowkeybride2be · September 2012

We have a niece and a nephew who are spoiled to the point that they don't seem to appreciate gifts at all, so we're sensitive about excessive gift-giving. We've put "no gifts please" on our son's birthday invitations the last two years (he's three now), but almost everyone brings a gift anyway. I wonder if they feel obligated b/c we brought gift to their parties? I don't bring gifts when others say no gifts unless that person also brought a gift to my son's party. Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Anyway, we've tried to impress upon our son that his friends are giving him a wonderful gift by coming to his party and helping him celebrate his birthday. Life isn't about things, etc.

shannm · September 2012

I like the idea but the fact that people still bring things is frustrating. I recently saw an invitation that said in lieu of gifts and favors that the attendees should bring a gently used or new book for a book exchange. As a parent of a book lover, I thought that was a great idea.

ElatedMom2B · September 2012

Voted SS: I get the idea and we actually do it at Christmas in our immediate and extended family. Everyone brings whatever amount of $ they want and we each research a charity and explain the charity and then we vote on which one we all want to donate the combined amount of money to. We also have our closest friends come and we make a couple hundred peanut butter/jelly bagged lunches (incl. granola, water bottle, napkin, apple/orange) and donate it to the local shelter for lunch handouts. The older kids help with the sandwiches and younger kids help pack up the bags. Its so fun because we have our holiday gathering with friends and feel like we're doing something good to give back.

So, birthdays we give and receive presents. Most of the time, our friends ask us what the girls need and will bring things that they need. I usually tell them clothes - luckily everyone has the same taste, so we make out very well with it. This works best for me since both of my girls were born in July so I get TONS of use out of them. We get occasional toys, but with a 4 year old in the house, I can honestly say that my home is not overrun with toys at all. My SIL, on the other hand, has a basement full of toys and it makes me want to puke whenever I see it!

I realize that as my kids get older (school age) things will change, at which I will revisit. Birthdays will start to include kids that we don't know as well and I am sure we will be more likely to get "clutter".

Leila'sMommy · September 2012

My honest opinion? It's bullsh!t. Give the kids gifts. You want people to donate to food banks or something, do it on YOUR birthday or for YOUR Christmas present. Don't take that away from your kid. That's what parties are for. Presents, cake, fun, celebrating being a kid.

Mama-Bear · September 2012

My kids have more than enough toys, but I know they get so much joy out of receiving presents. If I could (though I never would), I'd love to ask for gift cards to put towards 1 bigger toy instead of a bunch of smaller things (again, I would NEVER do this).

dazidog · September 2012

I've been to plenty of no-gift kids parties and I stick to the rule and simply don't bring a gift. This year for DD's 4th birthday we did our first no-gift party. We had the party at an indoor playground and there were about 20 kids (her friends and a few cousins). DD does not need 20++ gifts. It was simply a fun celebration. The kids ran around and played for 2 hours, ate some pizza, and had cake. DD still talks about how much fun she had. I don't think the kids (DD included) would have even enjoyed stopping the craziness to sit and open gifts. Only 1 person brought DD a small gift but we didn't open it there. On the invites I wrote 'No gifts please. Best wishes only.'

On a side note. We did have a family birthday party for DD with just ourselves and grandparents. This was on her actual birthday and she did get gifts.

Smores730 · September 2012

We went to one and also got to be the only rule followers. It felt so awkward. Everyone bought the kid elaborate birthday cards instead like ones with stickers and cutouts inside them. It felt even more weird to take home their goody bag. So we get a present to go to YOUR party?!?

Shmogan09 · September 2012

Leila'sMommy:
My honest opinion? It's bullsh!t. Give the kids gifts. You want people to donate to food banks or something, do it on YOUR birthday or for YOUR Christmas present. Don't take that away from your kid. That's what parties are for. Presents, cake, fun, celebrating being a kid.

This!! I also think it depends on the age. On their first birthday you are really only dealing with what the guests think. But, once they are two and three they are going to go to other parties and see the kids opening all these gifts and wonder why they don't get any at their party. That is mean in my opinion.

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