Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

how to approach daycare dad????

Hi bumpies

I watch the sweetest little 11month old from 8:30am to 5pm Mon-Fri. The last few times of watching him have been interesting. His dad brings him one jar of food a day and requests i give him a 6oz bottle every 2hrs. Big guy has decided he doesnt want his bottles but i can tell he is starving. my dd is 14months and has 4 teeth...I give her everything, she loves food and has no problem eating solid stuff with only 4 teeth. This big guy has 8 teeth and his dad doesnt think he knows how to chew (he's said this) venturing out to him is giving him puffs. I nicely told his father yesterday that he seemed super hungry and wasnt taking his bottles and wanted what my dd was eating. I suggested maybe bringing another jar of food b/c I gave him one of ours and he downed it! His dad then said that he must be hungrier than normal and said he would bring him juice cuz he doesnt think he can chew yet. The kid is almost a year old, I'm a little confused...is this normal?

Idk how to tell his dad he CAN ACTUALLY chew food. I know, because I've given him food and he uses his teeth and eats like a champ. I dont know what is right to do or say because his son is a big boy and i think he is growing and he wants to eat real food. I just wanted to see if he could and he ate crackers and ravioli like it was nothing.

what do i say that i already havent. His dad i dont think gets that babies change every day.

help! 

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Re: how to approach daycare dad????

  • Yikes, tough situation.  It definitely doesn't sound normal to me.  My SIL is the same way, her 14 month old is still eating either purees or puffs or nothing at all.

    Maybe try saying "I'm going to be making my DD ravioli for lunch today, would it be ok for your DS to try a few small pieces?" and if he agrees, tell him at pickup what a great job his DS did eating it.  Maybe after a few attempts like that, he'll get the idea that he can eat real food.

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  • His one year visit should be coming up, why don't you suggest he ask his pedi about starting more foods/solids?  If he doesn't think his kid can chew, hearing it from the pedi might make it sink in. GL
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  • imageAimeeL85:

    Yikes, tough situation.  It definitely doesn't sound normal to me.  My SIL is the same way, her 14 month old is still eating either purees or puffs or nothing at all.

    Maybe try saying "I'm going to be making my DD ravioli for lunch today, would it be ok for your DS to try a few small pieces?" and if he agrees, tell him at pickup what a great job his DS did eating it.  Maybe after a few attempts like that, he'll get the idea that he can eat real food.

    I agree with this. And maybe mention that your pedi said your DD should be eating lots of solid food at that age, and  that juice isn't good for LOs.

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  • DS doesn't have ANY teeth and eats lots of stuff, though I still give him purees. They can't learn to chew if they don't have the opportunity.

    I agree with the "I'm feeding DD ___ today - may I give some to DS?" suggestion, as well as talking to him about what the pedi recommends.

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  • imagemarcellamitchell:

    Idk how to tell his dad he CAN ACTUALLY chew food. I know, because I've given him food and he uses his teeth and eats like a champ. I dont know what is right to do or say because his son is a big boy and i think he is growing and he wants to eat real food. I just wanted to see if he could and he ate crackers and ravioli like it was nothing.

    I would leave this part out, for sure. I realize that the dad is being overly cautious and we all may not agree with him... but if I had told you not to give my kid food and you had, I'd fire you in a heartbeat. 

    I agree with asking "can I try giving your LO whatever I'm feeding DD for lunch today?"-- If he says no, let it go. He'll change his mind soon enough. 

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  • imageXcrisscrossX:
    imagemarcellamitchell:

    Idk how to tell his dad he CAN ACTUALLY chew food. I know, because I've given him food and he uses his teeth and eats like a champ. I dont know what is right to do or say because his son is a big boy and i think he is growing and he wants to eat real food. I just wanted to see if he could and he ate crackers and ravioli like it was nothing.

    I would leave this part out, for sure. I realize that the dad is being overly cautious and we all may not agree with him... but if I had told you not to give my kid food and you had, I'd fire you in a heartbeat. 

    I agree with asking "can I try giving your LO whatever I'm feeding DD for lunch today?"-- If he says no, let it go. He'll change his mind soon enough. 

    This!  Despite what you think (and I agree with you), it is wrong to give him things that his father doesn't want him to have.  I would be livid if I found out that a caregiver was doing things behind my back that I didn't want them to do.  You need to respect his wishes.

  • imageXcrisscrossX:
    imagemarcellamitchell:

    Idk how to tell his dad he CAN ACTUALLY chew food. I know, because I've given him food and he uses his teeth and eats like a champ. I dont know what is right to do or say because his son is a big boy and i think he is growing and he wants to eat real food. I just wanted to see if he could and he ate crackers and ravioli like it was nothing.

    I would leave this part out, for sure. I realize that the dad is being overly cautious and we all may not agree with him... **but if I had told you not to give my kid food and you had, I'd fire you in a heartbeat. **

    I agree with asking "can I try giving your LO whatever I'm feeding DD for lunch today?"-- If he says no, let it go. He'll change his mind soon enough. 

     

    I so get that and agree totally. I'd fire a nanny that did that too if that was the case. His dad never said don't, only brings him one jar and has said he doesn't think he has enough teeth yet to chew stuff.

    My problem with that is when the kiddo is screaming at me cuz he's hungry for food. I'm going to give it to him. Not let him be hungry.

    I am for sure going to use all your advise when it comes to approaching him again. Thank you all for your help!!! 

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  • Find a good article proving your point and send it home. Also tell the father his son grabbed some of your DDs food and did really well with it, so you'd be willing to start more solids with him if that was okay. Maybe suggest soft foods first like avocado, banana, and other things that will fill the little boy up, but are super easy to eat to ease the dad's nerves.
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  • Wow. At 11 m.o. DD was completely off bf/formula during the day, eating regular meals and snacks and drinking milk. And she had 2 teeth.

    But, he's the parent. I don't know what to do.

    ETA: agree w/ pp's re: "DD is having this, can I give some to your DS?"

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  • I totally agree with you that baby is probably ready to start having more food, but I also agree w/ PP that I would FIRE you if I knew you gave my kid RAVIOLI without my consent! What were you thinking? You knew they didn't authorize you to do that. What if the kid had a tomato allergy like a girl in my kid's preschool? Or another food allergy? Odds are good he may not have even had regular dairy yet and I'm guessing the ravioli included cheese? BAD CALL on your part!
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  • That is kind of weird.  Some people just don't have as much experience with kids and if this is his first kid, he's probably a little extra nervous.  I would be very careful about giving the boy your own food without permission from the parents first, though.  If he has an allergic reaction or chokes on something you gave him, they could blame you.  I had a similar problem with a little boy who was the same age and the mom didn't bring enough solids for him, but when I mentioned it to her she was fine and started bringing more food. 
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  • imageNicoleWI:
    I totally agree with you that baby is probably ready to start having more food, but I also agree w/ PP that I would FIRE you if I knew you gave my kid RAVIOLI without my consent! What were you thinking? You knew they didn't authorize you to do that. What if the kid had a tomato allergy like a girl in my kid's preschool? Or another food allergy? Odds are good he may not have even had regular dairy yet and I'm guessing the ravioli included cheese? BAD CALL on your part!

     

    Thank you for your passion. I so understand and would say the same as you, reading this and not knowing the entire situation and relationship with the parents. P.S. His bottles are milk so i know he isn't allergic to the organic cheese ravioli. Also I'd never not tell his parents what i do or have done. His dad just didnt seem to get it, i think. Even telling him straight, so I was at a loss. But they've given me all permission and trust; being that mom is one of my bffs but the dad has the say and is the one that gets him. So even in telling him the other day to bring more food he said he'd bring juice. BUT thankfully this a.m when he dropped him off we talked more (even about having given him ravioli) :o) and he said to give whatever my DD is eating in small bits and next week he'll bring more food. So, a few days of a slight issue is now solved!

    Thanks again bumpies! 

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  • imageNicoleWI:
    I totally agree with you that baby is probably ready to start having more food, but I also agree w/ PP that I would FIRE you if I knew you gave my kid RAVIOLI without my consent! What were you thinking? You knew they didn't authorize you to do that. What if the kid had a tomato allergy like a girl in my kid's preschool? Or another food allergy? Odds are good he may not have even had regular dairy yet and I'm guessing the ravioli included cheese? BAD CALL on your part!

     

    Thank you for your passion. I so understand and would say the same as you, reading this and not knowing the entire situation and relationship with the parents. P.S. His bottles are milk so i know he isn't allergic to the organic cheese ravioli. Also I'd never not tell his parents what i do or have done. His dad just didnt seem to get it, i think. Even telling him straight, so I was at a loss. But they've given me all permission and trust; being that mom is one of my bffs but the dad has the say and is the one that gets him. So even in telling him the other day to bring more food he said he'd bring juice. BUT thankfully this a.m when he dropped him off we talked more (even about having given him ravioli) :o) and he said to give whatever my DD is eating in small bits and next week he'll bring more food. So, a few days of a slight issue is now solved!

    Thanks again bumpies! 

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  • Maybe the easiest thing would just be to provide all the food while he's there (you're making it anyway). Maybe explain that toddlers always want what other kids are eating. If you're concerned about cost maybe ask for an additional couple of dollars a day. For them it's probably less hassle! Then, you can let dad know what he's eating so hopefully he'll get to eat food at home too!
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