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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
beachgirl24
member
Struggling with finger food, feeling like a failure-- what do you give LO?
beachgirl24
member
I'm starting to feel like I"m failing LO a bit...I dont know why I'm having such trouble with the whole finger foods, "table foods" thing, but I am. I am feeling confused and troubled by what to give LO to try to feed himself with. He's 10 1/2 months and has had pretty much all vegetables, plus pureed chicken and turkey but no beef yet, because all of the babyfood that has beef seems to have wheat or tomatoes in it. It seems like everything I think of there's a caution against giving it before age 1 because of food allergy...for example, wheat! I went to the store the other day specifically to find crackers or bread to feed to him, and EVERY loaf of bread, even the "white" bread, had WHEAT in it!
He's still working on his gag reflex too and is just barely feeding himself now, does best with a teething biscuit but even misses the mark with that and drops it most of the time or plays with it. He tries with yogurt melts and puffs but cant get the pincer grasp to his mouth. I know he'll get there eventually but I'm really just feeling stumped, despite all the information and help out there. What is my problem!? Can someone please give me a run down, a list of what they give their LO on the tray that they can grab easily and feed themselves? And things that are easy to send to DC? TIA!
(Same birthday, 2 years apart!)
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Re: Struggling with finger food, feeling like a failure-- what do you give LO?
FWIW at 8 months the pedi said that the baby could eat what we eat (shellfish, nuts, the whole bit)... he cautioned against a few things such as cabbage, raw onions, and chocolate because it can hurt a little baby's stomach but other than that he said the just introduce on a 3-4 day schedule and we should be fine. I've NEVER heard of not introducing wheat. I've heard that acidity in tomatoes can be tricky but to just try LO out with it slowly, my DD never minded... actually she loves eatting cut up tomatoes
ETA: As for our little one for finger foods she eats, grilled cheese sandwiches with shredded chicken and/or veggies thrown in, mozza cheese, papaya, cut up cherry tomatoes, peas, banana, avocado slices, beans, toast (sometimes with peanut butter), kale chips (I take kale and bake it in the oven until crisp), sweet potato strips... don't feel bad though, food before 1 is just for fun
Out of curiosity, hat did you expect "white" bread to be made of??
You can give LO most anything you are eating. I would avoid shellfish, peanuts and tree nuts. Just offer smaller pieces that are not too hot. He'll get the hang of it.
I'm in your boat with the struggle for my 9-month-old to feed herself finger foods. She will only take food from a spoon, so I've just accepted that the whole thing will take a while for her to learn. I try for a few minutes at each meal and hope for progress. In the mean time, I've been eating a lot of leftover teething biscuits, puffs and mini bagels! Not good!
I'm also like you in waiting to give high allergy foods until she's one, although I have given my daughter wheat and she had no problems. I'm waiting longer for peanut butter, strawberries, egg whites, etc.
I can tell that you're really overwhelmed - breathe!!! Are you avoiding wheat and tomatoes because of a current allergy? Or just because you've heard/read/been told so? Unless your DS is actually allergic, it's ok to give those to him. I feed my DD whole wheat bread and tortillas, and until recently I was staying away from tomatoes b/c they are really acidic and can cause upset tummies. But for the most part, I feed her just whatever DH and I are having.
This weekend I tried eggs for the first time. If I'm giving her a known "highly allergenic food" then I'll do it on a weekend morning or lunch to be able to watch her for a reaction. But otherwise I just give her whatever. Most of the time she doesn't eat much, as food before 1 is just for fun and practice. At 10 1/2 months, his primary source of nutrition comes from either BM or formula, so you can relax knowing that he's not going to starve.
There have been a few foods I've tried with DD that she didn't like (pears, watermelon) and some that I do think might have caused a bit of a reaction, like sweet potatoes, squash and gree beans. She's thrown those up a few hours after eating them so I just avoid them now. In a few months I'll try again. Some days I send food to d/c and others I don't. She doesn't always eat dinner with us, she may be too tired, we're not eating before she goes to bed or we're having something I don't want to feed her. I try not to stress out about it.
When I do send food to daycare, I make sure it's something that 1) she's had before and has been ok with and 2) is fairly easy for her to eat. I like making quesadilllas b/c she can eat them on her own and I can put different things in it. Tomorrow she's getting a whole wheat tortilla (the small fajita-sized ones) with some cheese, black beans and corn. I've also sent oatmeal and fruit pieces. Some days she eats all of it and others she only takes a couple bites.
As long as your DS is drinking all his milk, I wouldn't stress out about it too much. He'll get there.
For a while I was doing the only introducing one thing at a time and waiting 3 days in between, but after several weeks I just gave that up and figured there was no reason to believe they'd have allergies (neither I nor my husband has food allergies) so we just gave them (twins) whatever. So go ahead and give them wheat products! It will make your life a lot easier!
That being said, don't worry too much if he isn't "getting" finger foods yet. Every baby is different. Some take to mashing foods up in their mouths right from the beginning while others eat purees beyond their first birthdays. Some take to self feeding right away, others don't for quite some time. Just keep trying from time to time, but don't get too frustrated. He'll get it when he's ready. Our twins are 9.5 months old and still aren't great with the pincer grip, but they manage well enough to shove things into their mouths, though they still drop lots! Our son started taking textured food several weeks before our daughter would tolerate it (she's only recently come around to fairly consistently taking textures/solids) but she was into self feeding or at least wanting to touch/hold foods well before he was. Every kid is different.
Have you tried Mum mums (the rice rusks)? They're really easy to eat and because they're bigger, they're easier to hold too. Even if he's not into holding them right away (our son wasn't), you can break off little pieces for him, or hold it while he bites/breaks a bit off and eventually he'll get into holding it himself.
The bottom line is, though, don't worry too much about allergies unless you have sspecific reason to, and don't worry if he's not into finger foods. Ours are only JUST getting beyond puffs and mum mums for finger foods.
Have you tried cheese? The little bits you'd be comfortable giving him might be too small for him to pick up easily, but it's nice and solid so it's not slippery or squishy. Our twins also love pita bread and hummus. I put a bit of hummus on little pieces of pita and they gobble it up. Today was the first time I let them feed themselves a little bit and it works well aside from the messy fingers from the hummus!
Good luck and don't worry!
Okay, taking this one thing at a time:
I am feeling confused and troubled by what to give LO to try to feed himself with.
- You can give your son pretty much anything under the sun to feed himself with. The only thing to hold back on are foods he/you/your husband have a known allergy to and honey. Barring that, you can have at it. Keep an eye on sodium intake, because babies should have very little sodium, and spice levels and have fun with it.
It seems like everything I think of there's a caution against giving it before age 1 because of food allergy
- This has been debunked by the AAP. They've found there is no benefit in waiting for food allergies and there is some thought that waiting could actually cause more allergic reaction. As stated above, just keep an eye out for honey, which carries a botulism risk, not allergy.
He's still working on his gag reflex too and is just barely feeding himself now, does best with a teething biscuit but even misses the mark with that and drops it most of the time or plays with it. He tries with yogurt melts and puffs but cant get the pincer grasp to his mouth.
- All of this is due to lack of practice. The more chances you give your son, the better he will do with it. We started with tablefood at 6 months, never introduced purees, and according to the assessment tests at his daycare his pincer grasp is superior to most children his age. Just keep giving.
Can someone please give me a run down, a list of what they give their LO on the tray that they can grab easily and feed themselves? And things that are easy to send to DC?
- We give my son everything and everything, a list would be too long, but his favorite foods are:
All of these are things I send in to daycare with him. Today I sent in turkey meatloaf, cucumber slices, a clementine, a babybel cheese, and some crackers.
I am just wondering how in the world you guys are not overwhelmed by your LO choking on this stuff? Maybe you are not first time moms or maybe I can just too anxoiuse because mine did actually choke on spagetti a month ago.
He eats puffs just fine but anything else he just swallows whole...
If you only give purees then they have nothing to practice the chewing motion. I have always given something chewable, even in the beginning. Now the act of chewing comes naturally. Start by putting cooked vegetables in a spoonful of purees and then eventually just a small soft veggie without the pure. Also, I make toast and spread some fruit pure on top so it is pretty soggy and he goes to town on it.
Gagging is not choking. The size and shape of spaghetti leads me to believe that your son wasn't choking. Gagging is an important part of the learning process. It's how they learn to use their tongue to keep food from going down until its ready. So by avoiding this, you really aren't helping. Give him opportunities to learn. You will be surprised.
This is more my train of thought. The way I look at it, my son has his whole life ahead of him to eat solid foods, so I figure why rush it. I'm just struggling now because it feels like he's lagging behind compared to other kids and what the development expectations are, etc. I tend to go by what the pedi tells me and recommends and I don't deviate from that too much when it comes to health issues, allergies, etc....
I know I need to do more research and learning on this, but my initial thought was knowing that there are people with wheat allergies, I was expecting to find some kind of breads that were wheat-free, so to speak. Anyone have any info on that?
Thanks so much for this great info! So helpful and I really appreciate you taking the time to answer. First, let me say that I am open to starting new foods but I tend to defer to the pedi and what they recommend or don't. I specifically called our pedi's office to ask if we should continue to avoid wheat and tomatoes, and they said yes, until 12 months. So I've been sticking to that. My husband and I dont have any food allergies per se, although my husband did have some kind of freaky allergic reaction to what was either nuts or a preservative a few years back that we have yet to confirm what happened, but thats the only thing.
I understand and believe that practice will help with the pincer grasp, thank you for the encouragement on that! This is part of my frustration: I feel like I am relying too much on the purees for their convenience and feeling guilty about that. I know I need to introduce more table foods so that LO can work on chewing and swalling, but the challenge seems to be in finding the time and way to do that right now. I am not comfortable with just grabbing whatever is in the fridge and letting him try it. I believe in spacing new foods out to make sure there is no reaction. I guess I"m too much of a planner. ;(
Another part of my problem is that I dont get home with LO until 600-615pm or so, and my DH doesnt get home until 630-645pm. With dinner time for LO being 630-645 and bedtime 745 this doesnt leave much time at all for the rosy picture of preparing dinner for ourselves and feeding LO some of what we eat. ( If I could get home with LO by 530 this would be much more realistic.) Even preparing the next night's dinner ahead of time seems impossible. It's like I'm constantly chasing my tail! I know it will work itself out, but right now this transition phase seems to be giving me trouble. I am just grateful for an outet like the Bump and for the great info from all of you ladies