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October 2011 Moms
LCass
member
FFFC
LCass
member
TGIF! Now who's got a confession this week?
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
Fast forward to this week when DH and I wanted to go shopping but were in a bit of a rush. I go to put L in her seat and it is completely messed up! I mean, SIL obviously turned it to FF which is her prerogative since ut's legally okay over 12 months, but she put it back incorrectly and it was totally unstable. Even worse were the straps which are a huge PITA to readjust, and she somehow had them twisted two or three times under the buckle. I had to leave them like that for the time being which was making my OCD side go on overload, plus L wasn't in there as snug as I would like. MH and I ended up arguing about it because he wanted to get going.
I know SIL must have been struggling with her own kids and baby bump in the August heat, but arrggghh! My seat!
Just a couple of weeks ago I posted about how people are "butter cream" crazy, and I was over it. Birthday parties have gotten out of control and they should focus more on love, etc.
Flash forward to this week...I've lost my mind. I realized this when the custom postage stamps with A's picture came in the mail, along with the fancy invitations, a poster of 100 pictures of A, I've made party hats, big tissue paper poufs, ordered a custom dress. And seriously, I have like 5 more projects to complete. Holy Sh!t...what the hell is wrong with me.
FRUCK YOU PINTEREST
I hope you are feeling better soon!! Creepy Internet hugs. With all that's been happening lately, everyone would be in a funk!
I have the song "Let's Have a Kiki" in my head for the last two weeks and I sing it everywhere. I can't get it out of my head. HELP ME!
I have more than one....
I am terrified of being all alone with the boys. I mean....I have handled them alone, but this afternoon, DH has to go out to a job and I will be alone for a bit. The thought of having to change a squirmy 11 months old's poopy diaper is giving me anxiety. If he gets mein the stomach, I am toast.
I have totally done nothing the doctors have told me to do in regards to recovery. I feel ok. However, they also prescribed a narcotic for painmanagement. I am using it so I can still get everything done. Which is not what it should be, I am aware.
I am at peace with pumping, which is fantastic. I seem to have enough milk for both boys AND a stash at this point. However, I feel guilty to be so ok with it. I really want to be a breastfeeding mother, I always found that beautiful. I had that picture of myself. Nope, not happening. Not only is it physically not possible right now, but I also do not enjoy it. Which makes me feel like....I don't know. Probably hormones.
I think this is it. Maybe there will be more later.
Nita, I think that you are absolutely FABULOUS to be doing what you are doing. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you to breastfeed, but that is effin awesome that you put in the effort to try, and now you are pumping! I hate pumping, so my hat is totally off to you. I don't think that I would have gone as long as I have if I had to pump. I hope you know how truly awesome you are, you super Mom you! When we are blessed to have our 2nd one, I'll be thinking of you. If Nita did it, then I sure as sh!t can do it too!!!
You are doing a wonderful job! And remember just because you are EP at this moment doesn't mean you have to only pump forever. I had a friend that was able to switch to BF at 5 months. You just never know. Also, the first 6 weeks of BFing SUCK, It is not that fun. But it does get better after that and enjoyable.
So, you just never know. Hang in there! You are doing fantastic.
My first FFFC, so here goes:
So DD sleeps from 7:30pm-7:30am every night. For the last month when she wakes up I pretend to be a deep sleeper so that DH gets up with her to change her and feed her. My justification is that he has to wake up to get ready for work anyways... I feel a little quilty but that extra 15 minutes is so worth it. I can't believe he doesn't know what I'm up to yet, every morning I come out of the room and go "oh wow, you're up? I didn't hear anything..." hehehe
I probably wouldn't feel so bad if I was giving him some action but that's not really happening very much since DD was born. At my 6 week appointment I remember the OB asking me what I was going to do for birthcontrol... I said "abstinence..." hahaah haven't really felt into it since she was born
I guess two confessions.
For PP choosing to pump, don't feel guilty, you should feel proud of yourself that you are choosing to sacrifice your time to pump breast milk for your child, it is a huge commitment (as is breast feeding). I exclusively pumped for 9 months, it was not easy.
I have been crying at my desk most of this morning.
DD's birthday party is this weekend- I am emotional because I don't want her growing up and I am sad that she isn't a baby anymore. I am also upset because most of the people I invited to her party can't come. I feel like I am failing as a mother because her birthday party is going to suck.
I also am really frustrated with work and having to do the job of three people instead of just my own job. They keep piling more and more on me and since I don't know what I am doing, it takes me ten times longer than it should.
AF just started so I don't know if that is contributing to the disaster of emotional state I am in right now. I need to pull myself together.
Is it 3:30pm yet so I can go pick up DD and go home?
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage
BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16
My confession is that I have no plans on even trying to bfeed this baby. My milk didn't come in with either of my other two kids. I had traumatic c/s and recoveries with both of them and even my lactation consultant told me with DS, that my body is too busy recovering from blood loss, infection, etc. not to worry about about quitting.
Honestly, I have no idea how Nita is doing it. I don't see myself feeding as often as necessary while having a 14 month old tearing around the house. Maybe on the off chance my body cooperates this time, I might see what happens but my current plan is to formula feed.
I don't feel guilty about it in the least but I so don't look forward to the questions and having to defend my decision.
With everything that's going on with me, I have lost all my tolerance for people and have become kind of a shiithead. Basically, all the rude thoughts that you normally keep to yourself have just been tumbling right on out. I actually threw my (empty) water bottle at the chairs of two kids who wouldn't shut up in class yesterday. I feel like I should have more regrets about this than I do. I mean, it is a sign language class so they were being giant azzholes.
If I have learned one thing, it is that sometimes you just shouldn't answer questions at all. 'because that is what we do.' sometimes is totally enough if someone asks you things they really shouldn't. Whatever works for you is right. In the end, you want a well taken care of, nourished baby, and formula will do that job.
Right now I can make it work. Once I cannot any longer, I will formula feed my child, and I will not feel bad bad about it. Until then, I will enjoy the benefits of producing milk - health wise and financially. And if it works longer than a bit, that is even better. If I can do it as long as super did? No idea. But hey, we'll see.
Bottom line: don't let anyone question you or drag you down.
Nita, you are doing great! Do you have anyone who could come help with DS1 for a little while? I would be concerned about stressing my tummy too if I were you...
I don't think I have anything to confess this week...
My FiL is gonna stop by for lunch and I think he is gonna stay for a bit. I have actually managed to get my 24 pound chunk up the stairs and down for a nap (which took CIO for everyone else the last week - for me, he just laid down, ha). So now I pumped, fed Aidan and he is currently snuggled on my tummy and I hope he'll burp soon. With a bit of luck they'll both sleep for a bit.
Between my pregnant self being obsessed with diet coke and giving my baby cookies for breakfast I win MOTY over here!
I am glad you guys talked it through and discovered what you truly wanted. Who cares what people say, it is your family and if you want 3 kids close in age, why the heck not. If there is one thing I learned from having a kid it is that everyone has an opinion and everyone disagrees with your opinion. Good luck trying for baby number 3 !
Hmmm, I think my confession is I am doing just fine without DH. I got all the dog poo out of the yard this morning, mowed, trash and recycling out, clothes folded and put away. Part of another assignment done. Cleaned the kitchen. I have open gym for Izzy in two hours at Gymboree to wear her out. I feel my old independent active duty military person is back. It took him a lot to bring down my guard in the first place...I feel I may become very independent again and we will have to start over again with me feeling like I need him. I was divorced over three years and single when I met him.
Also I finally went to the playgroup at the Youth Center yesterday. Seeing Izzy's face so excited I felt so bad I hadn't taken her sooner. They unleash a ton of balls onto a basketball court and then a bin of toys for them. She didn't stay with the babies and the toys...she was out with the big kids chasing balls making this excited noise the whole time. It made me smile watching her...I vow to take her every Thursday that I possibly can.
Wow, sorry that is so long!
I started antidepressants three weeks ago, and they're kicking in, and I feel much better. My brain is quieter, my self-talk is no longer exclusively negative and hopeless, and for the first time in my adult life I'm experiencing what it feels like to be in the moment.
My confession (I guess) is that I regret not doing this years ago. This has been a LONG time coming and now that things are changing I can't believe I waited this long. I can't even remember why I avoided it.
The thing I regret most is that my baby is almost 11 months old and I'm just now really starting to feel appreciative of her and really like her mom. I'm sad that I was in a fog for her entire life and that the time passed so quickly without me being able to feel grateful for it. I'm sad that I won't get that time back.
These feelings are complicated by the fact that I'm glad I got to BF her exclusively for six months and part time for a couple more months, and I could not have done that on meds. I was better with her while BFing than after weaning for sure, but still not nearly as good as I feel now. I'm not sure how I feel about that trade off for any future children. Or about going off meds during pregnancy. My mental health is important, but BFing is important to me too.
If we are one and done, it upsets me that I won't get the chance to experience having a young baby while not being abnormally depressed.
Thanks for the kind and encouraging words, Super. I am sure I will get over it... I am just having one of those days
Married 08/18/07
BFP 02/15/11 EDD 10/27/11 Born at 35w3d on 09/25/11
BFP 10/13/12 EDD 06/25/13 Born at 37w0d on 06/04/13
BFP 12/11/15 EDD 08/23/16 Early miscarriage
BFP 02/02/16 EDD 10/16/16
I applied for a part time job yesterday after not working for over 2 years. I am super nervous about having an interview and working again. I'm also really anxious about possibly leaving DD... how will she go down for a nap? What about when she is sad? What if she likes going to daycare more than she likes being home with me?
But I'm looking forward to the idea of having adult interaction and some extra money. Really looking forward to having the extra cash though....
1.)Your baby is still a baby. Wipe those tears away. BTW the best years are yet to come. Please look forward to all the amazing things your DD will accomplish and do.
2.)The birthday will be wonderful! Half the people I invite don't show some years and other years my house is filling over. On that day focus on your little one. Honestly 10 years from now you won't even be able to list half the people who were there. You will remember her face with cake smeared on it and her reaction to her favorite gifts.
3.) You are a wonderful mother.
4.)Over loading employees seems to be the current trend. I'm sure your management knows this and are reasonable.
5.)Go eat some chocolate!
Ridiculous! You can come back at anytime. I enjoy having you on the board!
I not only ran to the kitchen to see if I had yeast for Crusty Bread, but I gave Gator plain noodles to munch on just to keep her quiet long enough so I can make some Crusty Bread dough. Meanwhile, she was pissed because she wanted lunch. Sorry kid....but you had to deal with a 15min late lunch, just so mom could make some Crusty Bread. MOTY.
Haha! Awesome!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been having such a rough time lately and I took my first ever antidepressant today. I can't tell you how encouraging your story has been for me and I am really happy for you.
FWIW, I have never sensed anything but the FTM glow when seeing you with Tilly. Anyone can see what a great job you are doing and how enamored you are with her.
Thanks darlin',
I hope you feel better in a few weeks. I think you will be amazed with the difference.
I started on zoloft about 5 days ago. I felt kind of funny at first and had some nausea, but I'm starting to feel a lot better now.
I was on antidepressants for a few years before I got knocked up. I stopped taking them when we started TTGP and I stayed off them while I was pregnant and breastfeeding. I guess my FFFC is that I told my doc I'd start taking them again in May, but "never got around to it" even after I weaned E. I thought maybe I could will myself out of OCD and depression. Obviously, that didn't work very well.
Just wanted to chime in... I'm amazed at how many of us recently started taking antidepressants and weren't talking about it. I started taking Lexapro about a month ago for anxiety/depression but I don't think I've found the right med or dose yet. Hugs to you other mamas. Glad you're feeling better, Ovey, and you've given me some hope too.
I screwed up that quote, but I love you both and am proud of you for dealing with your emotions.