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CFjo2010
member
6 year olds using words they don't know
CFjo2010
member
K has picture day this Friday. We asked her today what she wants to wear so that we can make sure it's washed in time and her response? "I was thinking that on alternating years I'll let the other parent provide my picture day outfit.". Um, she's 6, nearly 7, but this is not how a 6 year old talks. Unless that 6 year old is Doogie Howser. I asked K if she knows what "alternating" means and she looked confused and said "no". I think it's pretty obvious that the 6 year old is being coached.
We aren't making an issue of it. We told her whatever she wants to do is fine. The only thing we did tell her "no" to was her "suggestion" that she not stay here Thursday night so BM can get her ready for picture day. I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous. My husband is sending a text to BM saying that the picture day outfit needs to be in the backpack at school when I pick K up on Thursday and that he will not tolerate a repeat of the Valentine's Day performance. We'll see what actually happens.
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Re: 6 year olds using words they don't know
so is BM providing the outfit?
I seriously hope BM doesn't show up to the school and make SD change if you/DH dress her...
BM has horrendous taste (in my and DH's opinion) we chose not to purchase SD's school pictures and have pictures done ourselves of the kids every fall, family and individual pics. they are 10x better quality than the school pics and its a fun family day.
She hasn't responded to my husband's text yet.
Honestly, we don't care what K wears in her school pictures as long as it fits. But knowing BM, since K comes home with us that day after school she'll either try and make K change at school before pictures or try and force her to change after school and before she comes home with us. Heaven forbid clothing come to our house. We just don't want a repeat of the Valentine's performance where BM pulled K off the stage during rehearsal and forced her to change clothes. K was so miserable after that and it resulted in counseling for the poor kid, all because BM wouldn't just let her be. Thankfully picture day is during the time my husband volunteers in K's class and if BM tries to pull that again he can intervene.
And seriously, if you're going to coach your kid on what to say try using words the kid actually knows the meaning of. Can she possibly be any more transparent?
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lol @ "alternating" Your BM is crazycakes.
We have a rule (ok, its just my rule) that whichever parent's time it is, that parent is in charge of clothing. So first day of school outfit, picture day outfit, halloween costume, valentine's party outfit, etc = all of it is up to the parent who has the kids that day. It may be a little petty, but their gma was buying and sending clothes for every little special occasion. Given the controlling history with her, I just couldn't take it.
That's kind of how I feel too. Obviously if it's an event where the child needs to wear a certain outfit (recital, game, etc) then it needs to be provided to the parent "in charge" that day. I think it's so incredibly disruptive to the child to make them change at the event or change up the routine just because one parent wants to control everything. The debacle at the Valentine's performance last year left such a bad taste in everyone's mouths (especially the other parents at the school and the teacher) that I would really like to avoid that kind of drama again. Especially since it's only the 3rd week of school.
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O stress, I could not deal with the constant tit for tat. How or why do you do it? I seriously would have got off at the last station if I was you.
Your story reminds me of something my SS said several years ago. I was flying to Portugal with a girlfriend and DH (then SO) drove us to the airport. We collected SS on the way and BM came out to the car with him bawling her eyes out. She spent half an hour talking to me and my gf about the movie Stepmom and all the while sobbing. When we got to the airport my gf advised me to run really fast and keep going lol.
Anyhow, back to the story: at the airport I took SS to the bathroom and while we were alone the he said: (btw he had just turned 5)
SS: Phantom, do you have any kids?
Me: No SS, I don't
SS: O, but sure no doubt you'll get pregnant straight away
Me: (jaw on the ground) what does pregnant mean?
SS: :::shrug::: I don't know
Yea so obviously BM has been talking within earshot lol.
Thank god things have calmed with us and we have all moved on. There is not a chance in hell that I would still be with DH if I had to deal with what I did for the first two years today.
Looking back we were all emotionally charged and contributing to the situation in our own way. I think I would actually be mortified to read back over some of my posts.
Life is simply to short.
We used to do this for the exact same reason you mentioned and send the pics out to FI's family at Christmas.
To the OP -I hope all goes well this week with picture day. You are right, a 6 year old would not be requesting to "alternate" who picks her outfits for picture day. BM's intentions may (or may not) have been good, but it is just another way she is putting the child in the middle. Luck to you.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
Stories like this make me grateful BF is an hour away. He won't allow "his" clothes to come to our house either so DS gets put back into the clothes he wore to dad's house. He made him change in his van in the driveway once. SM was in the van and DS was 8 1/2 at the time.
Wish people would realize that they're only hurting the kids with behavior like this.
Hope picture day works out ok for you guys.
Eh, we're not that concerned with what she wears in the pictures. We're ordering her school pictures regardless. But the frustration is with the obvious coaching of a 6 year old and the added chaos this is going to cause. She still hasn't verified if she's sending the outfit home with me when I pick up K today. My husband is just really concerned about a repeat of the performance and has already told BM that he will not allow her to pull K out of classtime to change clothes. I mean really, if it's that important that K wear a certain outfit, just send it in her backpack for when I pick her up. Don't demand that she change at school or expect that my husband give up his time with K just so that BM can dress her for pictures.
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OMG, I would have fallen on the floor laughing at this!