Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Jenny952
member
Re: Hey guess what? CIO is ok!!!
I saw this and gave it major side-eyeage.
While I haven't read the study referenced, what struck me from the newscast was that they were comparing two different types of sleep training, which isn't exactly CIO vs. non-CIO. Also, not at all sure what their criteria was for measuring the biological impact years down the line, seems like that would be extremely difficult to quantify, not to mention, possibly not the point to begin with.
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Totally misleading and sensationalist headline; the article had nothing to do with hard-core, "babywise" style CIO; it only suggested that letting a baby CIO for a few minutes, or under parental supervision was OK.
I *** hate the media news outlets. Thanks to them now child abusers and negligent parents everywhere are feeling pretty good about themselves.
Oh, FFS. I am so tired of this BS. The "dangers" of CIO are over stated and the assumption that people who use the method are selfish and hate their children is ridiculous.
And, no, I did not see the newscast or read the study. I am specifically responding to the OP.
This. I consider our style of "parenting" to be pretty attachment-style, but at 5 months old, we moved our daughter out of our room into her own room and did the increasing-intervals of comfort sleep training. It sucked for 2 nights. On the third night she pretty much stopped crying and went right to sleep after a few minutes. From the fourth night til today, as a general rule, she goes to bed drowsy but awake at 8 PM and sleeps until 4:00 AM, when she wakes up for a feeding, and then goes back down til around 6 or 6:30 AM.
She is a different person since we have done this--so happy and well rested during the day. Tons of smiles and noises. Before we sleep trained, she just wasn't getting good, restful, sufficiently-long blocks of sleep in our room with all the noises of three people sleeping. Am I glad that we co-roomed with her for the first few months? Yes, because it is shown to reduce the risks of SIDS. But by the time we moved her to her own room and did sleep training, it was time for that. And we did it for her own needs and she is happier because of it.
People who are super dramatic about the "dangers" of CIO probably haven't read the brain development books that show babies really need long blocks of sleep where they process through 2-3 sleep cycles before waking. When our LO was in our room, she would pretty much wake up every 45 minutes at the end of each sleep cycle--not healthy!
You can practice attachment parenting and sleep train. It is not an either/or dichotomy.
This totally
Wait, you're saying that people who use a CIO method are child abusers and negligent parents? I can't feel right about allowing my children to CIO without me there and so I don't. But that's a far cry from thinking that those who do are abusing their children. You've taken that too far.
How I read her post is that negligent parents would use the headline to "validate" the way they are doing things, people who are neglecting their kids. I didn't get the CIO is neglect.
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I didn't see this on the news, and I'm glad I didn't. As someone who has read primary research (on different topics) I've seen enough how media can portray something that I really don't spend to much time on sensationalized studies.
What just happened in my diaper?!