August 2011 Moms

please make me feel better

So the title of my post is a tough order, but while my baby is the cutest, most precious being she has been sick for five weeksalternating ear infections. She has never slept well. We have sleep trained, read almost every book out there, tried different methods, but my kiddo just won't sleep. She will, but there is so much screaming involved and so many wake ups we are in a constant fog. I have tried so many things and talked to doctors etc. and there is just no answer. I feel like when I talk to people I get blank stares like what is wrong with your kid? I hate that these are the memories I have of babyhood and I feel bad because of course I love her to pieces.

Re: please make me feel better

  • You are human, of course you're tired and frustrated! I feel similar about babyhood sometimes. Although she sleeps(took a long time) now she still is basically an unhappy baby all around. I get what you mean when you want to look back on this stage and have fond memories. You will no matter how hard it is right now. I tell myself that the hard times won't last forever and they don't. You just have to hang in there and get rid of the guilt, you're a good mom and it's okay to feel defeated. As far as sleep, it will happen. In your case not much has helped so is there anyway you can take a day and night to yourself once a month? Just to get refreshed? And it could give you something to look forward to. Hope this helps.
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  • I would check in with the doctor to ensure that something isn't physically wrong with her.  If she's having ear infections, it's a possibility that she may need tubes, or she's still in pain from that.  Or, she could be teething, she could have tonsil/adenoid issues, or pressure in her eustachian tube left over from her ear infections.  

    There are a number of things that could be causing her pain or discomfort and thus, she is unable to sleep well.

    She could have separation anxiety.  She may just need to be nursed and rocked to sleep every time that she wakes up.  There are kids that do not benefit from sleep training.  She may be one of them.  I'm sorry that you're going through this, but it will pass.  It will be rough, but when she's 5 this will be  distant memory.

    Just give her as much as she needs in the MOTN and give each other nights off every once in awhile.  You take 3 nights, then give DH baby-duty for 3 nights.  Whatever your threshold is for sleepless nights, give each other some support.  I'm really sorry...  I promise you, I've been there.  

    My oldest still wakes up once per night and has to be put back to bed.  My youngest wakes once or twice and will only be nursed back to sleep, so DH cannot help on this front.  

     

    Prudence
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  • Thank you both for your responses. Reading them made me almost cry just to know that there are kind people out there. I just want this to be a happy time and not such a sad one. Thanks.
  • PPs said it well. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I can't imagine how exhausted you must be.

    I second the suggestion to make sure you get a break every once in awhile. For me, all I need is the chance to go shopping alone every couple of weeks to get recharged, but if you could get an uniterrupted night of sleep every once in awhile, that woud probably help you feel better (mentally and phyically).

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  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I agree with J&K, I would definitely ask your pedi about the ear infections.  Solving that problem might be the root of the screaming and not sleeping.

    We went through separation anxiety and sleep regression around 8 or 9 months and it was weeks of crying and not sleeping and I was almost at my wit's end.  Ditto PPs, give yourself some breaks and don't be afraid to ask for help if you can.  I found it helpful to even just have my sister or MIL stop over for an hour during the day and keep us company so I had someone to talk to.  It went a long way having, someone there with me, even if I couldn't actually get time away from DD.  Just know it is a phase and it will pass, hang in there! 

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