Aren't we supposed to be judging ?

bigbear · September 2012

What day was assigned to judge other people, I don't remember but I got one today anyway LOL

Yesterday at Target there was a young couple with their baby boy. He was in his car seat crying trying to eat the bottle. BUT he was too small and obviously didn't know how to feed himself. The father kept just saying "here you can do it" and would keep shoving the bottle in the baby's mouth, he would try to hold it but wouldn't work, so it would basically hit him in the face, he'd cry and the father would just keep doing it. I wanted to punch him. I really regret not saying anything.

Anyway, I judge and call him a bad father. Angry

michaelaskedlauren · September 2012

I judge Moms who listen to their nannies too much. You're the Mom, if you want your child to go to XX class, he/she should go. Dont NOT sign them up because your nanny said not to. Trust that Mommy instinct, girl.

I judge people who won't try new foods. Dude, your mouth isnt going to explode if you eat something knew. Promise.

bigbear · September 2012

michaelaskedlauren:

I judge Moms who listen to their nannies too much. You're the Mom, if you want your child to go to XX class, he/she should go. Dont NOT sign them up because your nanny said not to. Trust that Mommy instinct, girl.

I judge people who won't try new foods. Dude, your mouth isnt going to explode if you eat something knew. Promise.

Yes

namara5532 · September 2012

I apologize because I know this applies to moms on here, but I judge moms who don't give their babies the chance to try feeding themselves. If they can't yet, that's understandable, but my cousin posted a video of her son's first birthday. They put the cake in front of him, and he just stared at it not knowing what to do. They had to use a spoon to get him to eat any of it. Sorry, but a 1 year old should know how to get a fistful of food and attempt to put it in their mouth. Even if it's a glob of purees on a tray, babies really need the chance to get their hands in the food to learn how to feed themselves.

bigbear · September 2012

I agree with both namara and HE.

Meaning, the child should know how to feed himself and the parents should definitely encourage it and give them the chance to learn. The mess shouldn't matter, and we also shouldn't think of it as in "this is my special moment and I want to hang on to it as much as I can." I totally get the not wanting to let go of the baby and struggling with them growing up so fast, I TOTALLY get it, but it's very important for child's development to do it. But it should also be done on child's terms, meaning if the child is too small and is still struggling with it, then help out, don't force and just say, "hey you can do this" (refering to my original post)

And I agree on the bottle feeding. I BFd my baby until 4.5months (as long as my boobs worked) but already the first week I gave DD a bottle. It was kind of a I had to deal as well (my milk hadn't come in fully just yet) but I would have done it either way. She took the bottle right away as well as the boob. It wasn't an issue at all. So DH got to feed her right away when she was super tiny and it meant so much to him. They had that feeding bond right away too and I loved it. My DH was just melting, he was so happy. Not to mention the easy transition when she was going to DC and obviously had to do the bottle.

mrs.larry · September 2012

namara5532:

I apologize because I know this applies to moms on here, but I judge moms who don't give their babies the chance to try feeding themselves. If they can't yet, that's understandable, but my cousin posted a video of her son's first birthday. They put the cake in front of him, and he just stared at it not knowing what to do. They had to use a spoon to get him to eat any of it. Sorry, but a 1 year old should know how to get a fistful of food and attempt to put it in their mouth. Even if it's a glob of purees on a tray, babies really need the chance to get their hands in the food to learn how to feed themselves.

My first son did that at his birthday too, he just glared at his cake and looked at us like, WTF? -- but it was not because he couldn't feed himself or anything. he definitely could. I think he was just overwhelmed and not into the cake.

I judge parents who don't set boundaries for their children. This is obviously for older kids than our babies born in Jan 2012... and I'm not saying my 3yo is always an angel or that DH and I have it all figured out... but kids need boundaries and it's up to us to make sure they have them and know them. Complete push-over parents earn my side-eye big time.

KitKat83 · September 2012

Following quote from facebook regarding the new Blood Alcohol Concentration law

To me, 2% of fatalities are 2% of lives lost in motor vehicle accidents which are a LOT, and cause devastation to thousands of people. I get that maybe out of those 2% some could have been purely "accidental", however the thing that bothers me most about this quote is if 61.3% of driving fatalities were caused by drivers with zero alcohol, then that means a whopping 38.7% of fatalities WERE caused by drivers under the influence!!!!!

I've tested with a breathalyzer, and at .08 I am starting to get pretty hammered, the more fuzzy the "line" becomes and a lot of people drive away thinking they are fine when they're not. I honestly would be A-OK with a zero tolerance law. That way it is cut and dry and there's no guessing involved. Out of the 4 close friends I have lost in the past 10 years, three were due to drunk driving and one was between .05 and .08. In these accidents the drunk driver always lived, my best friend was walking when struck by one in a hit and run, the other two were passengers. Recently in my husband's hometown, a 28 year old mother and her 5 year old son were killed, and the dad and two year old daughter are fighting for their life after a head on collision with a drunk driver.

When we go out for supper, my husband and I either take turns being the DD, or take a cab if we're staying in the city and both feel like it that day, or in town, we walk. Its not really that hard to do!

I have nothing against drinking, nor being floor lickin' drunk, however, I do judge people who think their "rights" are being threatened by this law. A drivers license is a "privilege" not a right, so stop bichin' about it and either play by the rules, or give something up!! One life lost over it is one too many!

Sorry for the stupid long rant!

shortstuff15 · September 2012

LibraryChica:

I judge people who go around going, "lah-di-da, my child will never have sex." Yes, they will, and by not addressing the subject you are neglecting your responsibilities as a parent.

I especially judged a woman who asked me today if I was going to tell DD that DH and I lived together before marriage and then, after I said yes, went on about how it's her goal to keep her daughter sheltered from immoral situations (the daughter is 17). We're not ashamed, lady, because we did nothing wrong. You enjoy yourself there in oblivious-person-land.

Um, no. Not all kids have sex. I know many many many people who didn't have sex until they were married - me and my husband included. Did we know about sex and birth control? Sure we did. But we were also taught by our parents that saving sex until marriage is important and we were taught the why behind it.

I think it's when people don't teach they why behind what they believe that causes the problem. If the parent just says "no you can't because I said so" then the kid has no reason to trust their parents and no understanding of where their parents are coming from.

mrs.larry · September 2012

dhviel:
LibraryChica:

I judge people who go around going, "lah-di-da, my child will never have sex." Yes, they will, and by not addressing the subject you are neglecting your responsibilities as a parent.

I especially judged a woman who asked me today if I was going to tell DD that DH and I lived together before marriage and then, after I said yes, went on about how it's her goal to keep her daughter sheltered from immoral situations (the daughter is 17). We're not ashamed, lady, because we did nothing wrong. You enjoy yourself there in oblivious-person-land.

Um, no. Not all kids have sex. I know many many many people who didn't have sex until they were married - me and my husband included. Did we know about sex and birth control? Sure we did. But we were also taught by our parents that saving sex until marriage is important and we were taught the why behind it.

I think it's when people don't teach they why behind what they believe that causes the problem. If the parent just says "no you can't because I said so" then the kid has no reason to trust their parents and no understanding of where their parents are coming from.

sounds like you two actually agree. the point is that we, as parents, can't ignore the fact that kids need to learn about these things from us. no matter *what* we believe and teach them, the point is that we don't just live in "oblivious person land", but take the responsibility to make sure our children know what we expect of them -- whether that's waiting till marriage or using birth control or both.

in the end we raise them up with the belief system that we have, and then we let go and they make the decisions they make. ignoring the issue doesn't help anyone.

shortstuff15 · September 2012

LibraryChica:
dhviel:
LibraryChica:

I judge people who go around going, "lah-di-da, my child will never have sex." Yes, they will, and by not addressing the subject you are neglecting your responsibilities as a parent.

I especially judged a woman who asked me today if I was going to tell DD that DH and I lived together before marriage and then, after I said yes, went on about how it's her goal to keep her daughter sheltered from immoral situations (the daughter is 17). We're not ashamed, lady, because we did nothing wrong. You enjoy yourself there in oblivious-person-land.

Um, no. Not all kids have sex. I know many many many people who didn't have sex until they were married - me and my husband included. Did we know about sex and birth control? Sure we did. But we were also taught by our parents that saving sex until marriage is important and we were taught the why behind it.

I think it's when people don't teach they why behind what they believe that causes the problem. If the parent just says "no you can't because I said so" then the kid has no reason to trust their parents and no understanding of where their parents are coming from.

I don't disagree with you. I didn't have sex until I was 19, so no longer a kid, in case you cared. What I disagree with is ignoring the issue alltogether, so maybe I phrased it incorrectly. By going around acting/talking/judging as if all sex outside of marriage is this great immoral thing (even if that is what she believes) she is not promoting the kind of understanding you're speaking of. So if her daughter is considering having sex or is being pressured or whatev, she certainly isn't going to feel comfortable discussing it.

Ah yes. I see then. I just hate the "every kid has sex" mindset because it makes a large assumption that everyone will just have sex in high school or soon there after. I do acknowledge that most kids do, but I just hate that assumption that everyone will.

shortstuff15 · September 2012

LibraryChica:

dhviel:
Ah yes. I see then. I just hate the "every kid has sex" mindset because it makes a large assumption that everyone will just have sex in high school or soon there after. I do acknowledge that most kids do, but I just hate that assumption that everyone will.

True, I shouldn't make assumptions. It's been a crappy few weeks and I was feeling extra-b*tchy after being slut-shamed by a random relative.

Not a problem. I have rough days too when I make assumptions and just treat everyone else wrong too

js13524 · September 2012

I know it's no longer Thursday, but...

I judge parents that let their kids climb up the slide! This drives me crazy. Especially when they're climbing up a tube slide. I feel like I'm the only parent that tells her kid that slides are for going down only. Several times I've seen a kid get hurt climbing up the slide when he gets bowled over by another kid going down! And of course the kid going down usually gets hurt, too. I, also, hate when big kids or teenagers just sit on the slides with their phones out texting. Ugh!

namara5532 · September 2012

I can agree with so many of these. Yes, no sex talk doesn't ensure your child isn't going to have sex. They need to have some kind of talk to understand what it is and how they are expected to behave themselves. If you don't want them to have it, tell them why. If you're ok with them having sex (after a certain age), take the time to tell them how to do it responsibly and why it's important. Ignorance does not equal abstinance.

I also agree about the slide thing that ties into letting your kids go wild. Let your kids have fun, but some boundaries are important for safety.

And to clarify about the cake smash, I definately see your point about perhaps the baby being overwhelmed by everyone watching them. But in the video my cousin posted, after he figured out it was food, he insisted it be spoon fed to him. The way my DS eats, I assume normal baby behavior is that once they figure out something is food, they'd be all over it. My cousin's video makes me assume this kid is so used to being spoon fed that putting his hands in it didn't even occur to him.

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