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Daycare - Please tell me it gets better??!

MisNMisN member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

DD is 16 months old and started daycare last week.  I'm trying to be strong but it is killing me.  Last week she did 2 hours in the morning, this week she is going from 9-4pm.    This week is much tougher than last week.  While she is napping well, she is now crying and clinging at drop off. I'm told she stops crying fairly soon but wanders for most of the day talking about "mama" a lot.  The last couple days she has refused to go outside (which she normally loves) and just wants to stay in the room (maybe waiting for me to come back?)

 How long did it take for your LO to start having fun?  I'm really struggling with this and feel terribly guilty wishing I could just be home all day with her. 

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Re: Daycare - Please tell me it gets better??!

  • mldainmldain member

    I used to work in a center with 2 year olds. It all depends on your LO some children adjust really easily and never have that anxiety. Other children it takes a bit longer. In the 7 years I worked there I only saw 1 child that it took more then 2ish weeks for her to adjust. Herself and her family were not english speakers and she had just moved from Beijing to Honolulu. It took her 3 mos to adjust.

    I am not sure if that was helpful or not but I am sure your LO will adjust just fine. 

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  • dor79dor79

    It does get better.... we went through that phase and for us it passed quickly (maybe 2 weeks) for my nephew is lasted a year.

     Our DS needed to build up his confidence he was confused after being with me for 15 months, now all of a sudden he was with someone else full time.  He was the opposite of yours though.  he wouldn't want to nap and wanted to be outside all day waiting for "mama".  What helped a lot for us, was getting Daddy to drop him off initially, as he wasn't as attached to daddy as he is to me.  He still cried from the car to the door but started getting better the daycare operator.

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  • Caseyk1127Caseyk1127 member
    DS started at 3 months and it took him about 2 weeks to adjust. Last month they moved him up to another room and it took about a week for him to adjust to the new teachers and he still gets excited if they need to balance ratios and put him in the infant room with the old teachers. During both transitions we went through the clingy, crying, etc stages but they seem to adjust pretty quickly. Some of it is the teachers learning the likes and dislikes of each child too.
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  • loganlacloganlac member
    It will get better.  DD started at 9 weeks so she has always been used to it but I know it will get a little bit easier.  There are still days it is hard for me and she is 17 months.  He will get used to his new surroundings and will soon love his new playmates!
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  • saturdaynightdoubletreesaturdaynightdoubletree member
    Definitely depends on the kid. DS is 21 months and has been in daycare before and not had any anxiety, but starting preschool last week he was a disaster because DD was is in a different classroom, so he had anxiety not being with her. This week has been MUCH better. Yesterday I sent him to school with a family picture and it helped a lot when he got sad. At 16 months a lot of kids don't really play with others as much as next to them, and even still it could take some time before LO wants to really do anything, and that's ok. Just know that she's in good hands and give her lots of hugs and kisses when you pick her up. Make drop off as quick as possible, even if she's crying. Just give a kiss, say bye and I love you, and leave. Don't show her you're worried. Then when you pick her up say "See mommmy always comes back. I love you." I also try to learn the other kid's names in the classroom so I can ask about the day and if so and so was there and played... it seems to make them more familiar. GL! It WILL get better Smile
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  • jllmb79jllmb79 member
    My LO would always cling to me at drop off...but was fine with my husband dropping her off. She was in daycare from 5months -15months and even on her last day there she wouldn't let me leave. 
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  • EcyEcy member

    DD started DC at 4 months and did just fine. As a teacher, I have summers off with her so DC ended around 13 months for her. She returned last month at 15.5 months and it was terrible. She would scream and cry at drop off and would then go all the way until afternoon snack before eating anything. She wasn't really playful during the day either and would whimper on and off. This is not like my DD at all.

    After 2 weeks, she would go to her teacher with no problems and now eats well and plays a lot. Some mornings recently she will reach back out for me after she willingly goes to her teacher and says mama but doesn't really start crying and is copmletely fine after I walk out. I always look  back in the window and make sure.

    I know it's hard. It killed me when I started back to work this year. But hopefully it won't take much longer and you will be feeling much better!

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  • Anne MommyAnne Mommy member
    DS has gone to daycare since 3 mo, but we've had to switch a few times. He's been at his current daycare for a little more than a month. For us, it took about 3 weeks for him to be really comfortable. Make sure you have a routine. Before we leave the house, I get him all dressed and ready. I say "Are you ready to go bye bye? It's time to see Ms Katie (our DCP)." Then I sing the "We're off to go to daycare" song which is basically the "We're off to see the wizard" from Wizard of Oz. It's stupid but he likes it. It lets him know what is coming up. When we get there, I pass on any important information, give him a kiss and say good bye. He goes to the front door, waves and says bye with our DCP. I, of course, turn around and wave at the gate. It seemed like the first 2 weeks were rough. The 3rd was occassional tears. Now he normally runs off and plays until I say bye.
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member

    I think it may be harder for older kids to adjust.  But all kids go through phases and although my DD has been in daycare since 3 months old, she has had her clingy times. 

    Now she loves it so much, she runs off to hug her friends each morning.  But she still runs to me at pick-up.  She's a super happy, social kid.  It gets better! 

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  • MrsNoleMrsNole member
    It will get better!!!!  As a teacher of toddlers I noticed it could take anywhere from a week to 4 weeks for LO to be completely comfortable with DC.  There is a little girl that is 15 months that started in my class about 4 weeks ago, and just this week she is completely comfortable in the classroom.  I know it's hard, hang in there momma! 
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