IF is taking over my life

mrsrichey11 · September 2012

Its really starting to p!ss me off. The hubs and I have had to make huge efforts to go out and do something and NOT talk about IF. Whether it be treatment/is it working/our medical bills are sky rocketing/I don't wanna go through this anymore.

IF is all I think about. Even in between daily life stuff, my mind somehow goes back to IF. I'm driving myself bat crazy. especially since I am 6dpo and go in for my 7dpo bw tomorrow. If there are no signs, its another break for us again due to lack of funds after an unexpected dental surgery for hubby =[

Anyone have any suggestions about keeping your mind off of all of this crap other than a bag of Oreos? Waaaay ahead of you on that one.

CutieGirlLissie · September 2012

I have no tips for you on how to not think about IF and all its baggage. If you get some good ones please share!! But I wanted to say that you are not alone. I was just venting about this to DH the other day, I feel like I can't concentrate on anything anymore other then what we're going through. Its so frustrating! GL!

sundowner85 · September 2012

I am so sorry. I hope that others give you some tips. I don't have any good advice because I go through this too even though I'm not as far along on the journey as most of the beautiful ladies on here.

Since our *combined* take home income is middle 5 figures and we are OOP even for testing, we are really struggling with the financial burden that this could become. Even the $300 it will cost for H's SA in Friday is not something we really have in the budget. I just had $1800 unexpected medical bills that were not IF related. We are feeling really devastated about the fact that we feel like even if we can afford to find out why we are 15+ cycles in and nothing, we probably cannot afford treatment unless we took out a loan, which we are not sure about.

The only thing that keeps my mind off of it is when I'm just really busy with work, or really into a book I'm reading, or if something else bad is happening (i.e. I had a young family friend in the ICU this week, thankfully they are recovering now).

I am expecting my period tonight or tomorrow, and we plan on buying a cheap bottle of wine, one big brownie and splitting it, getting a little drunk and watching a crappy movie and making fun of it. That's are normal procedure on CD1. Other than that I got nothing.

xladybassx · September 2012

The only thong I can offer you is to try and avoid siruations that you know will be hurtful baby showers, playgrounds, maternity wards, tv shows about pregnancy/babies. I'm sure that one is obvious, but other than that I'm sorry to say I don't have any advice either, I am in the same boat as you and could really use some myself! I know what you mean about IF taking over every aspect of your life. Everywhere I go, everything I do, I am constantly reminded of our struggle. Even in mt sleep I can't escape it, I have dreams about it almost every night. DH is handling it much better than I am, or at least he seems to be. This struggle has made me so angry and bitter, and I hate it because that really is not who I am. Good luck, I hope someone else on the board will have some better coping mechanisms for you.

Kippet918 · September 2012

We have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. We are diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We are currently on a break and are meeting with RE to discuss next steps as medicated IUIs have not worked for us to date. We have been going through a lot of the same feelings as you have. We feel every one around us is pregnant or has little ones and it just adds to the stress in our relationship. How we have tried to cope with IF is trying to literally make ourselves and our life perfect. We are well aware that perfection is not possible however have you ever thought about how much of your time it would take up trying to obtain this. We have made fitness & nutrition plans. Menus of make ahead meals that can freeze. We have worked out a financial plan on how to save for the future so we don't have to worry with a little own and can hopefully retire early. We work around the house, finishing all the projects, organizing and getting rid of things we dont need. We try to work on our yard and keep our cars cleaned. We know that bringing a child into this world is scary in this day and age so we just want to make it as easy and wonderful as possible for when the day comes that we can bring home a baby. and trust me it takes up a ton of time and keeps your mind off IF for at least a bit. We are also going to go to a counselor to ensure we are on the same page and can always tell the other how we are feeling. Most importantly is your relationship. Well I hope this helps. It has helped us at least for the time being. Good luck and know you are not alone.

mrsrichey11 · September 2012

Thank you all =]

I'm going to talk to hubby about getting some projects done around the house. That will probably take my mind off of things for a little while...just wont touch the *extra* room in the house. That door stays closed. Hopefully I can get over this slump! It either needs to be CD1 or this needs to fricken work this time! ((hugs)) thank you everyone! I love how supportive this board is!

Kippet918 · September 2012

Just wanted to comment on your last response. We have "that" room as well. Sometimes I go up there alone and have a glass of wine and cry, thinking about all the little cute things that should be in there. Just know that is okay... have a big cry and get it all out. We have some extra furniture and are actaully going to make ours a guest room at this point (not spending any real money on it). Once I bought a case of wine and that night got a BFP (ended in miscarriage) but they way i thought of it was... "go figure... case of wine that we can't drink". Maybe if we try to concentrate on IF less it will happen. Hopefully I will make "that" room a guest room and then have to redo it all again... I wouldnt mind though.. lol.

rrdiva1 · September 2012

Kippet918:
We have been trying to conceive for 2 years now. We are diagnosed with unexplained infertility. We are currently on a break and are meeting with RE to discuss next steps as medicated IUIs have not worked for us to date. We have been going through a lot of the same feelings as you have. We feel every one around us is pregnant or has little ones and it just adds to the stress in our relationship. How we have tried to cope with IF is trying to literally make ourselves and our life perfect. We are well aware that perfection is not possible however have you ever thought about how much of your time it would take up trying to obtain this. We have made fitness & nutrition plans. Menus of make ahead meals that can freeze. We have worked out a financial plan on how to save for the future so we don't have to worry with a little own and can hopefully retire early. We work around the house, finishing all the projects, organizing and getting rid of things we dont need. We try to work on our yard and keep our cars cleaned. We know that bringing a child into this world is scary in this day and age so we just want to make it as easy and wonderful as possible for when the day comes that we can bring home a baby. and trust me it takes up a ton of time and keeps your mind off IF for at least a bit. We are also going to go to a counselor to ensure we are on the same page and can always tell the other how we are feeling. Most importantly is your relationship. Well I hope this helps. It has helped us at least for the time being. Good luck and know you are not alone.

wow, I just started the IF part of the journey, and reading this really hit home for me. This week I thought to myself ya know I can't fix this one, so I need to pour my energy into things I can control(let go), and make easier/better for when/if we do become pregnant. I want to get the ball rolling before we saw RE next week.I tend to overtalk things to death with hubbs. Who knows how long/ and hard the next road is going to be. We are leaning on our faith, and with concentrating on the house and some other things I agree with you it will help. Best wishes to all the PP!!!

megemoney · September 2012

I am so sorry. I completely understand what you are going though. I really do. I understand the financial burden that IF brings. We are facing having to take a break because of financial reasons. I feel like every time we are forced to break/TTA, it's a missed opportunity and that just increases the stress.

I like to quilt, crochet, and do other crafty things. I try to focus on those things instead of IF. I don't know if that helps you at all. I hope that you are able to find something to focus on in the mean time!

pantsarella · September 2012

We spent 9 months on a break, so I know how hard it is to keep your mind off of things! During that 9 months, I went to acupuncture and made sure that I was eating healthy. I also trained for a triathlon and DH trained for a half marathon. I read books by my favorite authors and found some new favorite TV shows. I got a new job with a huge raise, DH got transferred to another position at his employer. We took care of some other health issues that we had been putting off. We did some work around the house and did some landscaping. We worked on our savings.

Ultimately, you have to do other things to keep your mind off of it. And trust me, we all know how hard it is. I just wasn't willing to stress out for 9 months when there was nothing I could do. So we both just focused on the things we could control.

chelsmcl · September 2012

While some days just plain suck and nothing I do can make me feel better, I've been coping with things better lately.

I've started making after work running dates with a friend so we get to do something free and healthy together every week and de-stress.

Me and DH have been taking advantage of all the things we won't be able to do once baby comes like staying out late with friends and sleeping in the next morning.

I've also told a few friends about our struggles so I have people I can call and vent to when I'm having a bad day.

Good luck!

deelopi9 · September 2012

:::ehugs::: I am so sorry you are going through this. This October I'll hit the 2 year mark and think of all the "why's"; my best friend (who took 13 months TTC), assistant (not planned baby), 2 cousins - 1 just had her baby and 1 is due in January are pregnant. I feel I can't get away even when I want to. If it's not a baby shower I'm planning, it's looking at the beautiful growing belly of my assistant every day I go into work. The worst part she didn't even want another child. Everything surrounds getting pregnant - whether it's buying a new card or planning our vacation. I sincerely feel your pain.

What's been keeping me sane has been yoga, giving myself 5 minutes everyday to myself to just let the struggles of the day out of my system and listening to music - something upbeat. CD 1 involves a bottle of pink moscato. I know most of the ladies have a blog~ which I love reading. Good Luck

Keephope2012 · September 2012

I have to say I feel the same- IF definitely takes over my life too and I was just thinking about that as I was crying on my way home from work. I try to have a good book (non IF), take baths, catch up with friends, and meditate. Though can't say I'm handling the stress all that well! GL!

Want a personalized experience?

IF is taking over my life

Re: IF is taking over my life

Choose Another Board

Search Boards