WWYD--Daycare

autumnmichele · September 2012

When I went to pick up DD from DC today, I saw one of the owners (an older lady who is only with my daughter's class from about 3:30 until 5:30) discipline a little boy between the ages of 18 months and 2 years by "spanking" him on the butt. She then looked at the assistant and said "that was just a love tap." Now, I am sure she did not spank him with any amount of force, it was simply a light tap, the child did not seem to even flinch and I could just tell it really didn't hurt him at all. That being said, the policy clearly states that discipline is by time out only. I would not be happy if this happened to my child as I do not believe in spanking for this age group.

I am wondering if I should I say something to the director or DD's teacher? DH thinks I should basically play dumb and ask what the discipline policy is?

What do you think?

rosesandpeonies · September 2012

I would definitely say something to the director. That is disconcerting and they should not be touching a child like that.

rayray3383 · September 2012

I would definitely say something to the director. If I caught her giving my child a "love tap" I'd surely be back to give her one!

jllmb79 · September 2012

I would skip the daycare and report it to what ever agency investigates violations. Can't believe that in this day an age someone would ever think it was ok to spank someone else's child.

XCrissCrossX · September 2012

If she's one of the owners, I'm guessing that there is no one really above her, right?

I wouldn't play dumb. I'd go up to her and say "I noticed you lightly spanking a child yesterday. I'm sure it didn't hurt him, but your discipline policy directly states that spanking is not a form of punishment used here- and I fully expect that policy to be followed in regards to my LO. I've had a good experience up until this point and I'd hate to have to find a new facility based on this incident but If I ever see such thing happen again, I'm afraid I'll have to"

And then I would inform the other owner(s) of what you witnessed and that you've addressed it with the woman but you wanted to bring it to their attention as well just so they would understand why you might need to remove your LO in the future.

But spanking is one of the topics that makes me see red. So if you're more comfortable playing dumb, I don't think it matters as long as you address it somehow.

RayRay007 · September 2012

Do you know anything about the circumstances? Did you hear/see anything before the tap on the butt? I pat DD on the butt all the time. I wouldn't run the the state or to the other child's mother before I knew the facts. It could ruin her career. Talk to her supervisor and tell what you saw, and it hopefully will be handled properly from there.

AimeeL85 · September 2012

I would definitely say something. Even if it didn't hurt the child, she's not following the rules and who else knows in what other areas that might be true.

I used to work at a daycare and in our preschool room (age 3), one child hit another child with his sweatshirt. The teacher took the child's sweatshirt and did it back to him and asked how he liked it. It wasn't hard and it certainly didn't hurt the child, but another teacher saw it and reported it, and she was fired. I really liked this teacher, but I felt the right thing happened.

MrsWindyCity · September 2012

I would absolutely tell the director.

MrsNole · September 2012

I would follow the chain of command. But since it seems she's the owner I don't know what to do. I guess start with the Director. I definitely don't think that that is ok so I would make sure the Director knew.

nikip6454 · September 2012

XcrisscrossX:
If she's one of the owners, I'm guessing that there is no one really above her, right? I wouldn't play dumb. I'd go up to her and say "I noticed you lightly spanking a child yesterday. I'm sure it didn't hurt him, but your discipline policy directly states that spanking is not a form of punishment used here and I fully expect that policy to be followed in regards to my LO. I've had a good experience up until this point and I'd hate to have to find a new facility based on this incident but If I ever see such thing happen again, I'm afraid I'll have to" nbsp;And then I would inform the other owners of what you witnessed and that you've addressed it with the woman but you wanted to bring it to their attention as well just so they would understand why you might need to remove your LO in the future.nbsp;But spanking is one of the topics that makes me see red. So if you're more comfortable playing dumb, I don't think it matters as long as you address it somehow.nbsp;

This is what I would do! If she doesn't repond well, I would call State. Not only is spanking against the daycare's policy, it is a violation of State Licensing at least in my state. She is the owner, she should be held just as accountable for her actions as her employees are.

saturdaynightdoubletree · September 2012

This. I'd be furious if someone ever put a hand on my LOs, even if it wasn't forcefully. Also, as a parent... I would want to know it happened. Even after addressing the problem, I'm not sure I could trust that owner. Based on her comment to the teacher she obviously knew it was wrong. Trust your gut.

laurakaz13 · September 2012

Not okay. Even if it didn't hurt the kid at all, the other kids are learning from their DCP's. Report it to the director immediately.

Our DCP's discipline by telling the kids that what they did was not okay, and then removing them from the situation. If someone is hurt or upset, they hug them or hold them. That's the only type of touching that should be allowed.

NewFamily09 · September 2012

I think you should say something. If parents are under the belief that teachers will only use time-out, then the DC should not be spanking at all, even lightly.

SoxFan777 · September 2012

Our state doesn't even allow time outs. I think you should say something to her boss. Whoever that is!

jgoetz1 · September 2012

XcrisscrossX:
If she's one of the owners, I'm guessing that there is no one really above her, right?
I wouldn't play dumb. I'd go up to her and say "I noticed you lightly spanking a child yesterday. I'm sure it didn't hurt him, but your discipline policy directly states that spanking is not a form of punishment used here- and I fully expect that policy to be followed in regards to my LO. I've had a good experience up until this point and I'd hate to have to find a new facility based on this incident but If I ever see such thing happen again, I'm afraid I'll have to"
And then I would inform the other owner(s) of what you witnessed and that you've addressed it with the woman but you wanted to bring it to their attention as well just so they would understand why you might need to remove your LO in the future.
But spanking is one of the topics that makes me see red. So if you're more comfortable playing dumb, I don't think it matters as long as you address it somehow.

This.

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