Two Concurrent Adoptions?

Misha08 · September 2012

We are currently a "Waiting Family" with a Domestic Infant Adoption. It took us a year and a half to get to this point. (Most agencies in our area & price range were closed to new families or had long wait lists for their orientations...) We were thinking about starting an international adoption now that our homestudy is approved and we are just waiting - ie, no more hoops. Has anyone ever heard of doing this? Do agencies allow it or frown upon it? We thought it would be good to have our waiting periods overlap so it doesn't take as long. Thoughts or advice? Thanks!

davidandheather · September 2012

Our agency specifically told us that we could not work with another agency simultaneously. However, when we told them that we may really want to look at international given the timeframe on domestic and they did not offer international, they did say that we could discuss it. We are sticking with one for now but 1.5 years into it, we may be in the same boat as you. Good luck to you!

bumpuser794640 · September 2012

If you are thinking of using the same agency for your international adoption, you'll still have hoops to jump through. Each country has specific regulations regarding homestudies, etc., so just because you have one completed doesn't mean you'd be free and clear to start pursuing an int'l adoption. There is also a lot of additional paperwork that goes into international adoptions, as well as potentially longer wait times, depending on the country, etc. Those are just some things to think about and to ask your agency about if you decide you are interested in international adoption.

CaptainSerious · September 2012

GnomeSweetGnome:
If you are thinking of using the same agency for your international adoption, you'll still have hoops to jump through. Each country has specific regulations regarding homestudies, etc., so just because you have one completed doesn't mean you'd be free and clear to start pursuing an int'l adoption. There is also a lot of additional paperwork that goes into international adoptions, as well as potentially longer wait times, depending on the country, etc. Those are just some things to think about and to ask your agency about if you decide you are interested in international adoption.

This. International adoption is a whole different ball game when it comes to paperwork. The homestudy would have to be rewritten, and depending on the country you are considering adopting from might have to be performed by a particular agency or group of agencies. It will likely require more extensive background checks, and you'll have to be cleared by US Citizen and Immigration Services (although that comes after the homestudy is complete). You'll likely have to compile a dossier, which is a packet of information that you will send to the country you which to adopt from as your application.

That's not to say that you couldn't start the process while you are waiting for your domestic adoption to come through. If your agency doesn't mind and you find a country program and agency you wish you adopt through that is willing to work with you even though you are in the process of adopting internationally, there's really nothing but the possibly limited resources of time, money, and emotional strength.

lafayettegirl · September 2012

We are doing domestic adoption only and have applied to 5 agencies simultaneously. None of them have a problem with that. In fact, 4 of those agencies were surprised we had not contacted multiple agencies until now. Once the homestudy was done, all we had to do was send that, along with an application and profile books, to each agency we wanted to work with. No hoops at all.

Misha08 · September 2012

We haven't talked to our agency about it yet as we are just thinking about it right now. Since our agency does not have an international sector, it would be with another agency.

What I meant by no hoops is that we are done with all the paperwork and certifications for the domestic agency, so now we have time to focus on getting all the paperwork and certifications for the international one. It would probably also be easier since we don't have a child yet to get that stuff done.

We actually contacted Gladney about doing concurrent adoptions, but they would not allow it. I was just wondering if all the agencies felt that way, and if so, we can stop before researching more agencies, etc...

Thanks for all the responses, it have given me some things to think about and ask about!!

silliestbunny · September 2012

We worked up two concurrent matches for DA. It happened for us and felt right so we moved forward. Both were via facilitators. One was an agency and one was independent. Both ended up failing.

So I have walked that walk. I also have "virtual twins" that are both domestic.

And we recently got pre-approved for an IA and then decided to back out and pursue a third DA.

Here's my concerns and part of the reasons we switched from IA back to DA. IA is a different beast than DA. Wonderful, needed, fulfilling... but different. Bringing a child into your home that is 12 months or older is not the same assimilation as it is for a newborn. There are often medical issues (minor but they exist) with IA... we were looking at Ethiopia and most children have some digestive problems or parasitic problems in their early months in the US.

Having a DA infant and juggling a IA toddler could be very challenging. I think that it might be tough for both to adjust to the changes. I brought up the medical issue because it means more pediatric visits, more stress at your home (taking stool samples etc)... it is a lot to take on. IMHO IA is at it's best when you don't have to split your time and energy with another tiny person. I think if your DA child was already three or four, it might be great. Again just my opinion.

I'd defintely take time to look at articles about virtual or artificial twinning as well as birth order since most would be relevant in your case.

PS- I say all of this but I did break the "adoption rule" and have two babies that are eight months apart.

srmmm09 · September 2012

I'm sure not all agencies are this way, but I know all three of the agencies we've considered working with for IA (for 3 different countries) did not allow you to adopt simultaneously (or get pregnant during the adoption). IA is a different animal; of course newborns do go through adjustment of sorts, but it's not the same as an older baby or toddler (or older!). Of course, this is my own opinion, but I think it's wise to let one of your children find their place in your family before adding another.

Also, it sounds so stressful to me to have to travel to a different country with a tiny baby, which could totally happen! But, at the end of the day, you know your family way better than we do.

IRR · September 2012

If your family can afford to pursue both at once and neither agency has an issue with it, I say why not, but what if both happen at the same time? Could you handle that? I know when we were researching we were told to select either domestic or international. IA is completely different paperwork. GL and keep us posted.

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