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Stay at Home Moms
Cest la Vie
member
I think I'm the black sheep now..........kind of long
Cest la Vie
member
Well, we live in a small development and all the moms with school aged children decided that they wanted the bus stop moved from the front of the development, to further down the street, where we live, on one of the corners, making our house the new school bus stop.
Well, it would have been one thing if all the school kids came and stood at the bus stop and waited for the bus, but that didn't happen. Every day I had kids screaming, riding up and down our driveway on their bikes and scooters, driving through our grass over our sprinkler system, etc. Then in the winter, the moms started parking in my driveway because they didn't want their kids to have to walk in the snow. (I guess back in my day, we wore boots) One day we needed to get out of our drive and literally couldn't. Then, one of the really mean moms started complaining that we didn't keep our sidewalk clean enough in the winter (with a newborn, I really couldn't get out at 6am to shovel and leave the baby inside), so she started shoveling our sidewalk to make a big show, which was really offensive since we take a lot of pride in maintaining our home.
I talked to them several times, as well as the transportation system- the behavior didn't change, so I requested the stop be moved from my house. Well, now I get the feeling they've all been talking about me and all think I'm a super big B*&^%.
Ugh. I'm not a mean person at ALL and I love kids, I just feel like they really have no respect. Anyway, I feel like I'm the black sheep of the stay at home moms in our neighborhood now........
I guess I don't care THAT much what my neighbors think of me, but it bothers me to think they all hate me 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I think I'm the black sheep now..........kind of long
I'm sorry. I can't believe people would come park in your driveway every morning. That is so odd.
liable for what? I have never heard of this.
okay, so I just looked up an article about this. This guy says it's better not to shovel. (FWIW, I have never thought about this either way. We don't even have a sidewalk):
"For assumption of the risk, a plaintiff cannot recover if they ?voluntarily assumed a known risk,?? wrote Simone. ?Because of both of these doctrines, it may be better not to shovel. For example, if a sidewalk is full of snow, a plaintiff can easily be found to have assumed the risk of slipping and falling by walking on it because everyone knows that snow is difficult to walk on and that where there is snow, there is (or can be) ice.
?Moreover, it can be considered negligent to attempt to walk a snow covered sidewalk (especially if not truly necessary or if there are other means of entrance or exit). On the other hand, if a homeowner does shovel, a plaintiff looks more reasonable in walking on the sidewalk (i.e., the owner shoveled it so that people could walk on it) and that because it was shoveled, they assumed it was clear of snow and ice (rather than assuming the risk of it not being clear).?
That's ridiculous - Aw, I'm sorry
You had every right to request to have it moved, I definitely would have! That sounds awful.
I'd just keep being friendly to them, and act like nothing happened. It could be that most of this is in your head, and there really isn't much resentment there. OR there is... but even still, it'll blow over in time, and you'll be back in the good books. And even THEN, if it doesn't, why would you want to be friends with those people anyways?? haha. Sorry you're dealing with that - women's politics can be so nasty.
That's just crazy. When did it become okay to park in someone's driveway, run/walk/bike all over their property, etc.? I wouldn't care if people who would be so disrespectful liked me or not.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
You've handled it much better than I would have. My potty mouth directed at their disrespectful kids would have encouraged those mommies to move the bus stop away from my house all on their own. I'll ask kids nicely once or twice but, after that, I have no problem pulling out the f-bomb.
Good luck to you! I hope everything works itself out...
In certain municipalities you can receive fines for not keeping the sidewalk in front of your home clear of snow and ice, like a parking ticket except it is attached to your home and not your vehicle.
To the OP: tell the jackwagons to stop parking in your driveway and tell the kids to stop tearing up your lawn. Also: of course you can leave a newborn inside for 15 minutes in order to shovel. Or strap the babe to you and shovel with her attached. Plus, how much of a newborn is she if this is her second winter?
For us, it's not just that you are liable for safety reasons, you can be fined, and if city workers have to clear your sidewalk, you will be invoiced. I don't know anyone that's been fined or invoiced, but I assume it's handled the same way as noxious weeds in our area, if someone complains to bylaw enforcement they'll do something about it, but they aren't out checking sidewalks.
If I was going away I'd just ask a neighbour to do my portion. Our next door neighbour and DH take turns doing eachother's sidewalk. Whoever is out first does the other person's.
Here's a C&P of the City of Toronto bylaw (for example):
To Provide for Snow and Ice Removal.
The Council of the City of Toronto HEREBY ENACTS as follows:
2.Time Limit for Removal of Snow/Ice from Sidewalks
(1)Every owner or occupant of any building must within twelve (12) hours after any fall of snow, rain or hail has ceased, clear away and completely remove snow and ice from any sidewalk on any highway in front of, alongside or at the rear of the building.
(2)After the removal of snow and ice, if any portion of the sidewalk becomes slippery from any cause, the owner or occupant must immediately and as often as necessary apply to the sidewalk, ashes, sand, salt or some other suitable material so as to completely cover the slippery surface.
Oh, and where I am you definitely get fined if you don't clear your sidewalk in time. I am the guilty recipient of some of those tickets. They are strict, but it is a good thing - in a city you have so many rental properties that the tenants obviously won't clear the walks but the owners/management groups won;t always have their act together and it gets to be a major nuisance and hazard (also, considering that I much higher volume of people walk everywhere here as opposed to driving, you HAVE to keep things shoveled). I have had to shovel many, many times with the baby inside napping. I just keep the monitor on me.
I'm a bit of a lurker, but I'll be a SAHM in 4 months!
This is just ridiculous. When I used to be at a bus stop every day, we stayed on the driveway but did NOT run around, and we all self-policed since no one's mom was there. And we sucked it up and trudged through the snow in the winter. There is NO reason these ladies should be parking in your driveway or allowing their children to run around on your lawn. You didn't ask to be the bus stop, it's your property, and they should not even think they have control over it.
If they resent you for awhile, it shouldn't be too long. Hopefully they'll figure out that their idiocy is what drove them away. In the meantime, hang in there and stick up for yourself. You don't have to be mean, but you don't have to take their sh!t either. ;-)
Is the sidewalk not city property? It is here...weird. Do you have to pay to fix anything wrong with it too?
Sorry Cest La Vie. I agree with the poster who said these women have too much time on their hands. Maybe they should take some of that extra time and drive their kids to school. I wouldn't have allowed the bus stop to be in front of my house in the first place. Maybe that makes me a mega meanie but I wouldn't want a bunch of kids running around my yard, messing up my stuff, or parents parking in my driveway. That's a liability. If a kid falls down and breaks his wrist in your yard on your lawn gnome or whatever wouldn't you be responsible?
Also, I am astounded that cities would fine you for not shoveling your snow within 6 hours. If it snows all night and H goes to work in the morning, the snows not getting shoveled until he gets home that afternoon. I don't and won't shovel snow. It's in his husband job description :P I couldn't actually image a law like that here. Then again, a lot of areas don't even have sidewalks so people would just be shoveling the grass.
Yes, the sidewalks here are city property, but the "maintenance" and "care" of them are the homeowner's responsibility.
You have to rake leaves, keep them clean and plow during snow.
The City is responsible for "fixing" the sidewalks if it's their issue (like pipes burst, etc.).
Wow, we would be screwed.
Are you sure you're not responsible for maintaining your sidewalks? FWIW, I have NEVER seen anyone come around and inspect sidewalks her and give out tickets, but they "can".........
I can get that. It just seems like it should be the city's responsibility, not yours. And IMO 6 hours just doesn't seem realistic. Snow could still be falling after 6 hours, and what if it happens in the middle of the night? Or in the morning and you're working all day. Do they expect you to leave work to shovel your walk. It seems like one of those annoying laws that can't really be enforced and if tried would never hold up.
I live in a small town and we only have one bus for people who can't get around that goes once a week house to house. All of our school buses go house to house too. No specific stops. So things are obviously MUCH different here.
LOL! We have that here too. They also put a HUGE orange sticker on your garbage can that does NOT come off! LOL!
I know many larger cities have sidewalk bylaws that require them to be cleared, but here I don't believe we do. However, if we did the town itself would be up the creek because there are many sidewalks in town that don't get cleared ALL winter. People just make their own path through the snow and it gets to be all packed down so that it's fairly walkable. Or we just walk in the street, which we have to do on our street anyway because there are no sidewalks on our street.
As to putting baby on your back to shovel - I wouldn't recommend that. At least here anyway. Shovelling snow is pretty back-breaking work and I wouldn't be comfortable shovelling with a baby on my back. Leaving her in the house while she naps and then doing it - yes, just bring the monitor out!
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
Did someone actually suggest that? That may just be the most unsafe idea I've ever heard. I slip ever winter on the ice/snow at least 5 times. I am usually carrying nothing. Snow shoveling is back breaking and putting a baby on your back too would be painful but also INSANELY unsafe. What if you were to fall backwards or sideways on the baby? Of even forward and the baby is on you and you're both stuck until someone comes to help.
Yeah someone did. It kind of shocked me, but then I figured they might have lived somewhere that doesn't get a lot of snow so maybe it's more of a "sweep the snow" type situation there.
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I would hope that is the case. Actually trying to shovel snow (which is most likely covering ice) with a baby on back is a BAD idea.
Where I live it takes a lot more than 15 minutes to shovel if it's snowed enough to need to shovel. I also slip multiple times a winter shoveling and having a child strapped to your front or back is insanely dangerous in those circumstances.
I can hardly imagine the lack of coordination that would cause an adult to slip while shoveling snow (or walking in snow or whatever) that would make shoveling while wearing a baby 'incredibly dangerous'. We shovel snow very nearly daily through the winter where I live and I cannot remember even ONCE slipping while shovelling snow.
One of the first toys a kid gets after they learn to walk is a snow shovel.
I've been snowshoeing with kids on my back, you see people wearing their kids skating and cross country skiing.
It's not any more dangerous to go out for a walk with a baby strapped to your back in the winter.
If you live where winter sticks around for nearly 6 months of the year, you do what you have to do to be outside, enjoy life and, yes, get the damn walk shovelled.
Wait are you being serious?
Why not shovel while baby is napping? I'm sorry but I totally disagree. Here our sidewalks are layered with ice and snow prior to shoveling. Shoveling snow is different than going for a walk in the snow. Your hands and balance are occupied with lbs of heavy shovel and snow. You're tossing the snow off the the walk, breaking up the ice underneath and you want to add a baby to that equation? No way!
And seriously, skiing with a baby on your back? H grew up in a colorado town where it was winter most of the time and we live in the midwest so we are no strangers to snow and lots of it. Shoveling snow is (as previously mentioned) back breaking work. Adding the weight of your baby to your already stressed back and slippery surface is a bad idea. I could never imagine putting my baby on my back to shovel snow, skate or ski.
One time we had styrofoam in the recycle side of our trash can (DH put it in there, I have no idea why). The trash man put a notice on our trash can and did not pick up our trash. Which sucked, because it was full and it was another whole week before pick up again.
We also have water police here. Because we live in CA and there is a drought, you can only water on designated days. If you water on a different day....watch out. It's incredibly hot here and if you don't water every day, your lawn will be dead, brown, and ugly. So we added an extra day, but got a notice on our door saying that we needed to cut back, or get fined $200. They actually drive down people's streets looking for people who water on days different than what they were told.
Stragely enough, despite all of that, I'm thanking my lucky stars that I don't have to deal with that snow shoveling mess. That just sounds insane.