ATP/PCP/TTC Wednesday

madisonpeas · September 2012

Updates anyone?

QOTD - At risk of starting a storm - what plans do you have or what have you already done to discuss spirituality and religion with kids? I saw this on Parenthood last night and am intrigued.

JGY · September 2012

I'll start us off since I've been really lame around here lately.

Chugging along at almost 14 weeks, feeling pretty darn good except I can't sleep through the night so I'm tired during the day.

QOTD - Parenthood was on last night? DAMN! I missed it. Anyway, S and I definitely need more conversation around this but since she has a stronng foundation of Christian faith, and I have really rejected organized religion most of my life, I am more than willing to allow her to introduce our child to her beliefs and be involved in an organization/church/community that is meaningful to her. I know she will be fine with me explaining my beliefs, when asked, as well. We have NOT yet discussed some of the real milestones involved however, like baptism. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about taking steps to affirm what a child is going to believe before they are old enough to accept/reject it.

I'm excited to read other people's opinions on this!

mmy101 · September 2012

QOTD: H and I have had REALLY bad experiences concerning church, like really bad. That being said, there are more and more churches are "open and accepting". I grew up in a Christian household and used to go to church every Weds/Sun, H was the same. Some parts of me miss church, the community, support, and even the Christmas pageants (dorky I know). Every once and awhile I will contemplate going to a accepting church, but that will take some time.

Hopefully by the time we have children more churches will be accepting and we can integrate it into their lives in a positive form. For the kids I watch I always ask the parents their views on how I should answer their kid's questions.

butterflygrooves · September 2012

We are still fighting to keep the girls in our home. The therapists and ASW have a meeting tomorrow to discuss our progress, I have a feeling it's going to be a good meeting.

Everyone is doing great overall; Apple is walking now, Owl is progressing and we are getting to know the real her, Iz is doing great in school, and A is growing up before my eyes.

QOTD: I've rejected religion until fairly recently while J is a non practicing Catholic. We agreed to baptize the kids Catholic because of J's beliefs. I've been wanting to visit a local presbyterian church, the religion I grew up in, but J doesn't want the kids to go because she thinks Christians are bible beating bigots.

I discuss Christianity with A because she is old enough to ask questions and when she asks about other religions I explain that I'm not well versed in them and that we can talk to other people who practice them or we can go online to get answers.

A often asks me if being Catholic or Christian is better and I tell her that neither is better, they are different ways of believing and that the important thing is knowing that she has someone who looks after her and that she can talk and pray to. I tell her believing in a higher power is more important than putting a name to your belief or religion.

ctbride08 · September 2012

butterflygrooves:
A often asks me if being Catholic or Christian is better and I tell her that neither is better, they are different ways of believing and that the important thing is knowing that she has someone who looks after her and that she can talk and pray to.

Could you explain this a little more? I'm not quite sure I understand...a Catholic is a Christian. Its one of those funny things were all Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholics.

2moms2twins · September 2012

status quo here - well as status quo as can be with 14month olds tomorrow! Damn it goes fast. OK can i just say this TEETH situation my children have is out of control ... OUT. OF. CONTROL. its practically a full set - is that normal?

As for QOTD: RELIGION RELIGION RELIGION .. I am Jewish and M is ... well M was raised Catholic but (her mom BFF who she spent most her child hood with was Jewish ) anyhow M had bad bad experience (she went to a private catholic HS. for a few months and when they discussed religion she said she was Athiest and so for home coming the NUN dressed her up in a BRIGHT PINK teddy and said she was the WHORE who will beckon the men at the bar this was a float they had... so she is a lil traumatized...

But my interpretation of Judaism is that its more cultural and not religious in the same sense Christianity and Catholicism are religious ... hope that makes sens.

We will raise the girls - with SPIRITUALITY they will celebrate the High Jewish holidays and they will celebrate the holidays X-mas and Easter but it will be the commercialized point of view. We dont do church and we dont do temple although I would like them to experience going to temple ( because i did when i was a kid) I will say I tend to have a small aversion ( i know this is bad) to Catholicism and or Christianity but its mainly because of my experience with these religions.

clairmeij · September 2012

Ttc: Starting femara tomorrow and fingers crossed for round number five.

QOTD: I was raised Catholic, I was the first female alter girl, and V was raised in an evangelical Christian church. She remembers being taken to focus on the family meetings. Neither of us are religious but she is quite spiritual.
I think we will probably continue as we are, and if they show an interest in any particular religion, we'll help them in their learning or search for what speaks to them.

ctbride08 · September 2012

Update: things are going well this week. Sprout's behavior has been markedly better though there is always a little something to work on. We have been thinking about changing strategy re: bio mom and have it earmarked to discuss with his therapist at the next appointment. So far we've been saying "yes, you will see her again, we are just not sure when that will be." because that seemed like the most honest answer. Well, now that we are approaching 9 months since seeing BM I'm wondering if we should tell him he probably wont see her again. Will that devestation be worse or better than the continual unfulfilled longing? ugh. parenting is full of sh!tty choices.

Rosebud is doing great at school and Daisy has started talking up a storm within the past couple weeks - i love it!

QOTD: I'm what I would consider a pretty devout Christian (I'm a member of the UCC church) and DW is what she describes as a "cultural Jew". She's not particularly religious but she was raised Jewish and believes in God, but doesnt get too much further into all the details. Our goal (well, my goal that DW easily agreed to) is to raise the children to know and appreciate all faiths so that when they are old enough, they can decide what is right for them. They attend Sunday school and we observe all the Jewish holidays with family. When they are old enough we will probably send them to Hebrew school as well. I'd also like for them to learn about non-Judeo/Christian religions but havent quite figured out the specifics of that education since those arent the faiths DW or I actively practice.

2brides · September 2012

ATP: Things are status quo - though the homework battle with Carter has begun. We had 3 days of whining free homework. Last night he had a worksheet to do that was very simple (ie. color X number of blocks) and what would have taken him 5m took 20m complete with tears, etc. L even picked them up early so it wasn't too late. Holy hell. But they seem to be loving first grade and have been happy kids. YAY!

QOTD: Both of us grew up going to church and being extremely involved with youth groups. We really want that outlet for the kids and have tried to find a UU church that we love. We found ones that we loved the service, but didn't have strong youth programs and ones that had awesome youth programs, but we didn't like the service. We have tabled the search until L finishes her dissertation and is home every weekend. So, next fall we'll be hunting again.

butterflygrooves · September 2012

ctbride08:
butterflygrooves:
A often asks me if being Catholic or Christian is better and I tell her that neither is better, they are different ways of believing and that the important thing is knowing that she has someone who looks after her and that she can talk and pray to.

Could you explain this a little more? I'm not quite sure I understand...a Catholic is a Christian.  Its one of those funny things were all Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholics.

Yes, I know that they are both forms of Christianity but as Catholics, J's family prays to the saints, promises the saints things in return for prayers being answered i.e. they will cut their hair and place it on the alter when a sick loved one is healed, etc. They are religious but don't go to church except for one mass a year and baptisms.

As a Christian, I learned to keep an open dialogue going directly with God and was never taught to give "gifts" in exchange for answered prayers.

It's more of a cultural difference than Christian vs. Catholic.

ctbride08 · September 2012

butterflygrooves:
ctbride08:

butterflygrooves:
A often asks me if being Catholic or Christian is better and I tell her that neither is better, they are different ways of believing and that the important thing is knowing that she has someone who looks after her and that she can talk and pray to.

Could you explain this a little more? I'm not quite sure I understand...a Catholic is a Christian. Its one of those funny things were all Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholics.

Yes, I know that they are both forms of Christianity but as Catholics, J's family prays to the saints, promises the saints things in return for prayers being answered i.e. they will cut their hair and place it on the alter when a sick loved one is healed, etc. They are religious but don't go to church except for one mass a year and baptisms. As a Christian, I learned to keep an open dialogue going directly with God and was never taught to give "gifts" in exchange for answered prayers. It's more of a cultural difference than Christian vs. Catholic.

Ahh, I see what you mean. I think of that as Protestant vs. Catholic

2moms2b · September 2012

At point we are just growing babies! We have been working hard to get the nursery finished so that we can relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.

QOTD: What a doosey... I took several theology classes in College as I though I would go into the Ministry so I have some opinions here lol. M's family is Catholic and she was raised Catholic. M's parent's generation are still devote Catholics and attend mass weekly. Her uncle is Mormon so we don't even go there. M and her brothers do not practice nor call themselves Catholic. We have already battled b/c M's mom wants the LO's baptised in the Catholic Church but their church will not recognize me in the service as I am not Catholic so I have said no. I completely understand their beliefs behind Baptism this early and I want to respect that but I cannot allow such a big ceremony to occur if I am not recognized. Sorry... (I also don't agree with Baptism at birth but total side conversation)

I was raised Southern Baptist and was in church every time the doors were open. I loved my youth group and attended camp and mission trips every summer as well as the winter skii trips etc. My youth group is where I best fit in growing up. My family is still devout Christians but have shied away from the strict Baptist view points. I was terrified to come out and did not do so until M and I were about to purchase a house! What's so amazing is my family embraced me and M and never once have they made us feel like outcasts. They actually showed M that not all Christians are bible beating bigots.

We have a church in Houston that is very GLBT friendly and has a very large youth program. They are non-denomination Christian church. We have attended a service several times and I would love to keep going once the boys arrive. M is totally ok with this but I do not expect her to attend with us. When they are older and can understand these things, we will allow them to choose whether or not they attend and participate in the youth group. All I really want for my kids is for them to have a relationship with God and if they choose to do so through organized religion or through a personal relationship alone I am totally ok.

leapgirl8 · September 2012

The babies are doing great and just went through a growth spurt - Mr. Baby gained 1/2 a pound in a week. Now that things are easing up I am starting to think a tiny bit about having a third, which amuses/frustrates me - all of the reasons that were valid for not having a third a month ago are still there, but now that I've caught up on sleep I suddenly seem a bit more willing to ignore them. They have slept for 6 hours in a row for the past two nights. We're thinking about dropping the 10pm feeding (the only one where we still wake them up). It would rob us of that nice 11p-5a stretch, but I hate to wake them up.

After many years of struggling with it, I am now a happy agnostic, and plan to buy kid books of different religious faiths so they are exposed to all of them but none of them is presented as the "right" answer. I'm reading a book right now called Parenting Beyond Belief that has a lot of good thoughts on it. Jen is a Protestant and she tells me that she plans to take the kids to church, but I don't really see that happening. We agreed that if she does, I won't be attending, and that she understands that I will be honest with the kids about my beliefs if they ask.

hlke · September 2012

TTC - we're in the TWW, testing on Sunday I think (12 DPO). We've found testing early helps to prepare us (especially C) for a BFN if that's where we end up. It doesn't get much better than this cycle - good timing, fresh sperm, progesterone on board - but I don't want to get too hopeful.

We're on our 9th cycle of temping, and I pretty much want to punch Fertility Friend in the face. C's cycles aren't very regular, something new is wonky every month, and I have to try not to read too much into each chart. I'm also not feeling ready to start planning for next cycle since we don't know what day 1 will be with the progesterone, and I don't want to have to experience the pessimism of planning the next cycle while still in the TWW of this one. We're doing one more fresh cycle (with travel) and then moving on to midwife IUI with banked sperm. It's good to have a plan.

QOTD: It's in active discussion right now. I was raised the in UCC church but my beliefs are more in line with Unitarian-Universalism. C was raised in non-denominational one-size-fits-all military churches, and reacted by becoming quite devout and conservative in her Christianity in college and young adulthood. She left the church in 2005 and hasn't really felt the desire to go back, and feels pretty confused in her beliefs. I definitely want the community and spiritual support of a faith community, and we've talked about ways to find that in a way we'd both be comfortable with. We'll probably try out some churches in the next few months. The central belief of UUism (to me) is that all religions are an expression of our spirituality and relationship with God, and that is close to what I'd like to teach my children. That fundamentally also means you have choice in the way you choose to practice your spirituality.

My sister converted to Islam in 2007, my mom is active in her UCC church, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law are practicing Catholics, and C's parents go to a fairly conservative Christian church, so I think they'll get exposed to several different religions naturally, but I want to make a specific effort with other faiths as well. I really enjoyed how my Jewish friends in college included me in their worship and taught me about Judaism, and I hope to find opportunities like that for our kids. We also celebrate Christian holidays and to some extent Muslim holidays, and will continue to do that once we have kids (probably more than now so they can learn about their cousin's religious celebrations).

Kershnic · September 2012

QOTD: I was raised Unitarian Universalist, DW was raised both Catholic and Methodist one parent of each and they attended both. Both of our families are very involved with their churches but if you know anything about UUs maybe you can understand how those look very different in some ways. We plan to raise our kids UU, but DW also thinks its important for them to have a better grasp of her parents' faith than she feels I gained in my religious education at UU church. So, she's in charge of Bible stories and that sort of thing. : But the kids will have UU naming ceremonies and we'll make an effort to be involved. I'm sort of neutral on it, but DW feels strongly that a church community is important for kids and the UU church matches best with both of our beliefs. So many people find UUism as adults, but for me this is the only religion I've ever been a part of. It was a big part of my childhood and adolescence especially so I'm happy to pass that on to my kids.

clairmeij · September 2012

hlke:
TTC we're in the TWW, testing on Sunday I think 12 DPO. nbsp;We've found testing early helps to prepare us especially C for a BFN if that's where we end up. nbsp;It doesn't get much better than this cycle good timing, fresh sperm, progesterone on board but I don't want to get too hopeful.We're on our 9th cycle of temping, and I pretty much want to punch Fertility Friend in the face. nbsp;C's cycles aren't very regular, something new is wonky every month, and I have to try not to read too much into each chart. nbsp;I'm also not feeling ready to start planning for next cycle since we don't know what day 1 will be with the progesterone, and I don't want to have to experience the pessimism of planning the next cycle while still in the TWW of this one. nbsp;We're doing one more fresh cycle with travel and then moving on to midwife IUI with banked sperm. nbsp;It's good to have a plan.QOTD:

Best of luck. Its tough making these calls.

2mommiesinoh · September 2012

Everything is pretty "normal" for toddlerhood around here. Ky is getting more independent and vocal. I think A has finally realized we can either parent as a team and it will be a whole lot easier or she can try to have it her way and tell me what I can or cannot do and life will be hard.

QOTD: I used to be a regular church attendee and all. Then I kind of stopped. I would like to go again but I am Catholic and we all know how they feel about the gays. I believe in a higher power but I am also open to other interpretations than the straight forward one I was taught. A is a firm believer in her Catholic upbringing but again refuses to step foot in a church until she finds one that is friendly to the gay community. She would never attend another denomination and feels my more loose belief system is crap. So Ky will be raised to believe in a higher power but in a more circumspect route I guess you could say. Neither A nor I talk openly about our beliefs and both of our families leave religion out of things. None of our families pray openly at meals or anything.

LolaBelle515 · September 2012

Updates: Luke is starting to love daycare, which makes life for mamas easier:) We're likely starting solids this weekend (yikes!) earlier than we expected, but he's showing all the signs of readiness and eating so much that with daycare & pumping it's tough for M to keep up. We're hoping supplementing a bit will help.

QOTD: This is a fun one for me to write, and to read everyone's responses. I'm a Lutheran minister, so I care a lot about this question and this topic in my own life. My wife grew up in the Lutheran church, and we met when she was a youth director at a church, but her faith perspective has evolved over the years and while she loves the congregation and the people that I serve, she disagrees with a lot of what I preach. She rarely attended church before Luke was born, but it has been so special for me that she has brought him almost every Sunday since then. Being the minister and the non-nursing one, it would be nearly impossible for me to have him at "work" all morning on a Sunday at his age, and she has been amazing about joining us in worship. It means the world to me to have them in the faith community I love.

We are both aware that our differing practices are both important to share with Luke, so I don't expect him in worship every single Sunday the way most pastors' kids would be...but he'll be there enough to grow up knowing its a community that loves him and his mamas, and that's enough for me:)

For what it's worth, for those that mentioned seeking out various faith communities, this website has an excellent, fairly comprehensive list of GLBT friendly congregations: https://www.welcomingresources.org/usa.htm

2moms2twins · September 2012

hlke:
My sister converted to Islam in 2007,

How was this received by you and your family at first ...

tdmklm · September 2012

ATP: J is amazing and growing by leaps and bounds. I am amazed - AMAZED - by the things he can do. He's talking a lot and saying/doing really funny things. I could go on FOREVER here. I won't bore you with my AWing. Smile

PCP/TTC: On hold for now. I guess. (The good news is we've had some good conversations that appear to have led to some progress, on other fronts if not on that one.)

QOTD: I grew up half catholic/half spiritualist. Got kicked out of communion class at my catholic school for asking too many questions and disagreeing when I was told I'd go to hell. *Side eye, priest. I think pedophiles might go to hell, though. Just sayin'.* The spiritualist stuff is a bit on the whoa side for me even though I grew up with it. K went to seminary (didn't finish), is a minister's daughter, and is very religious. I would say I'm very religious - complete with Jesus fish tattoo - but not attached to a particular denomination. We attend/got married in a UCC/Presbyterian church. It is very progressive, and the members really put their money/actions where their mouths are, which is huge for me. We went regularly with James from the time he was a tiny baby - he was baptized there when he was two months old - but it's been a challenge to attend worship services since we moved. We may have to look for a church close to home to make it more feasible. It is important to both of us that James should have a "church home" and a "church family," and we would like that to happen close to home so he can go to church with the kids he goes to school with. I won't lie - it's hard to think about finding a different church because we LOVE LOVE LOVE our church downtown.

hlke · September 2012

Kershnic:
QOTD: I was raised Unitarian Universalist, DW was raised both Catholic and Methodist one parent of each and they attended both. Both of our families are very involved with their churches but if you know anything about UUs maybe you can understand how those look very different in some ways. We plan to raise our kids UU, but DW also thinks its important for them to have a better grasp of her parents' faith than she feels I gained in my religious education at UU church. So, she's in charge of Bible stories and that sort of thing. : But the kids will have UU naming ceremonies and we'll make an effort to be involved. I'm sort of neutral on it, but DW feels strongly that a church community is important for kids and the UU church matches best with both of our beliefs. So many people find UUism as adults, but for me this is the only religion I've ever been a part of. It was a big part of my childhood and adolescence especially so I'm happy to pass that on to my kids.

Cool! I got introduced to UUism when I was in high school through the UU church in my town, and attended a UU church in college. I'm glad to hear that growing up in a UU church was a good experience for you.

We were married by a UU minister, and I wish SO MUCH we could go to her church. She really influenced both C and I in how we look at our commitment from a spiritual perspective, and is an all around awesome woman.

hlke · September 2012

2moms2twins:
hlke:
My sister converted to Islam in 2007,
How was this received by you and your family at first ...

Hmmm...it's an interesting question. It was not as difficult for our family as I think it would have been for other families. She married a Muslim man, but didn't really begin practicing Islam until after they'd been married about a year. So I think that helped us to realize this was coming from a spiritual motivation, not from her relationship. The UCC church I grew up in and my parents attend has very strong teachings about respecting all faiths, and steers pretty clear of any teachings that imply Christianity is the only way to salvation, so we were all pretty prepared to be accepting.

That said, a few specific things were very difficult. My parents really struggled with what Islam means for women, especially when my sister decided she would wear a headscarf. And it's been an ongoing negotiation around holidays - my mom really loves the traditions we have for our Christian holidays, and my sister wasn't very receptive to participating in those still. It's easier now - S has realized the importance of still being a part of the traditions of her family, and we have recognized that it is important to also recognize the new traditions that come with being Muslim and raising her daughter Muslim. And finally, my family has had a pretty rough few years that has made this stuff seem so much less important and reinforced how important our relationships with each other are, despite our differences.

Our extended family are a different story. My aunt is always asking my mom if she's sad she won't see her daughters in heaven. *eyeroll*

tdmklm · September 2012

hlke:
2moms2twins:
hlke:
My sister converted to Islam in 2007,
How was this received by you and your family at first ...
Hmmm...it's an interesting question. It was not as difficult for our family as I think it would have been for other families. She married a Muslim man, but didn't really begin practicing Islam until after they'd been married about a year. So I think that helped us to realize this was coming from a spiritual motivation, not from her relationship. The UCC church I grew up in and my parents attend has very strong teachings about respecting all faiths, and steers pretty clear of any teachings that imply Christianity is the only way to salvation, so we were all pretty prepared to be accepting.
That said, a few specific things were very difficult. My parents really struggled with what Islam means for women, especially when my sister decided she would wear a headscarf. And it's been an ongoing negotiation around holidays - my mom really loves the traditions we have for our Christian holidays, and my sister wasn't very receptive to participating in those still. It's easier now - S has realized the importance of still being a part of the traditions of her family, and we have recognized that it is important to also recognize the new traditions that come with being Muslim and raising her daughter Muslim. And finally, my family has had a pretty rough few years that has made this stuff seem so much less important and reinforced how important our relationships with each other are, despite our differences.
Our extended family are a different story. My aunt is always asking my mom if she's sad she won't see her daughters in heaven. *eyeroll*

Seriously? *vomit face at your aunt*

2moms2twins · September 2012

tdmklm:
hlke:
2moms2twins:
hlke:
My sister converted to Islam in 2007,
How was this received by you and your family at first ...
Hmmm...it's an interesting question. It was not as difficult for our family as I think it would have been for other families. She married a Muslim man, but didn't really begin practicing Islam until after they'd been married about a year. So I think that helped us to realize this was coming from a spiritual motivation, not from her relationship. The UCC church I grew up in and my parents attend has very strong teachings about respecting all faiths, and steers pretty clear of any teachings that imply Christianity is the only way to salvation, so we were all pretty prepared to be accepting.
That said, a few specific things were very difficult. My parents really struggled with what Islam means for women, especially when my sister decided she would wear a headscarf. And it's been an ongoing negotiation around holidays - my mom really loves the traditions we have for our Christian holidays, and my sister wasn't very receptive to participating in those still. It's easier now - S has realized the importance of still being a part of the traditions of her family, and we have recognized that it is important to also recognize the new traditions that come with being Muslim and raising her daughter Muslim. And finally, my family has had a pretty rough few years that has made this stuff seem so much less important and reinforced how important our relationships with each other are, despite our differences.
Our extended family are a different story. My aunt is always asking my mom if she's sad she won't see her daughters in heaven. *eyeroll*
Seriously? *vomit face at your aunt*

Wow yeah with the vomit at your Aunt ... sorry ..

wow I just cant imagine that the transition was easy for your family - not so much for the religion part but the ANTI- woman part. But I love that overall it sounds like it all worked out and prolly makes for an amazing holiday time in that maybe you all celebrate everything together??? Most families i know where someone converted to being Muslim it was not received well and thought to be some fundamentalist agenda..blah blah brain washing - so I was just wondering.

ball.and.chain · September 2012

TTC: Not much to say. As you might have heard...we're on a break.

QOTD: I was raised Episcopal, but with a very loose sense of the importance of religion. My sisters and I were taken to church and Sunday School every Sunday by our grandmother, but my parents stayed home (when we asked them why, they said, "We paid our dues."). I actually never asked them what they really believed, but I think it was more about us being educated/aware of it than anything else. By high school I was pretty certain I didn't believe in God, and I have identified as atheist for a while. But the Episcopal church is cool -- pretty liberal beliefs (there are several out gay Episcopal bishops) but at the same time rather traditional in terms of style/ceremony, which I kind of like. When it comes to church stuff, I can be very old-school. I grew up in a very Catholic town, so I used to say I was Catholic by association -- but it didn't seem to stick. My wife was raised in an Irish Catholic family that is fairly religious, but does not consider herself a Christian. I think she describes her beliefs as "There might be something out there."

My family celebrates secular versions of some Christian holidays (Christmas, Easter) and we will continue in that vein when we have kids. I'd like them to know about religions, but I can't say I'll be teaching them that there is a God (or anything) out there.

pbl2011 · September 2012

ATP - P has another early intervention appointment at the end of the week, finally they will be actually working with her, looking forward to seeing some improvement, i.e words, words, words.

TTC - currently looking at another donor of a different race, but will probably use the same donor as my first at home insem attempt.

QOTD - i was raised christian, in an a.m.e church, and D was raised NOI (nation of islam). Neither of us want to raise our children in either of our faith backgrounds. As an undergrad i majored in theology and i pretty much want to be able to share my interests with both P and D. I don't know if we'll land in any one specific faith, but for now i'd prefer not to celebrate major christian holidays as a family. all in all i'd say we're figuring things out. this was a great question:-)

Kershnic · September 2012

hlke:
Cool! I got introduced to UUism when I was in high school through the UU church in my town, and attended a UU church in college. I'm glad to hear that growing up in a UU church was a good experience for you.
We were married by a UU minister, and I wish SO MUCH we could go to her church. She really influenced both C and I in how we look at our commitment from a spiritual perspective, and is an all around awesome woman.

I'd be happy to talk about it if you ever have any questions. In many ways it varies a lot by congregation though, I think more than a more dogmatic faith varies from church to church.

It's really interesting to read about your family's reaction to your sister's conversion - I had wondered about that! I'm sure it has been challenging at times, but I think it's great that you've gotten to a point of being able to celebrate both religions' holidays together.

One of my closest friends from college was raised UU (yes, that's how we met) by a Jewish parent and a Protestant parent. It's been interesting over the years to understand her religious identity - particularly being half Jewish she's had some pressure to identify as Jewish. I think her family did an awesome job of fully embracing the traditions of both sides, and both she and her little brother ultimately identify as UU rather than Jewish or Protestant.

EratMama · September 2012

ATP: We are seeing more of Zucchini's behaviors (or rather, crying, screaming, sobbing fits) and one-up-manship-have-to-be-right that is pretty wearing. But, we are all doing well. We are adjusting into the school routines, and it is nice to see the kids know what to do next--today they even started packing their lunches for tomorrow without being asked to!

QOTD: funny, I have an unfinished blog post about this topic. I think I am hoping it will be resolved to post.

2brides:

We found ones that we loved the service, but didn't have strong youth programs and ones that had awesome youth programs, but we didn't like the service.

We also had a UU church we loved in Chicago (Second Unitarian in Lakeview) but haven't found a good one here. I went on a church hunt a few years ago, then gave up. The girls have been asking to go, and I want at least part of the authentic prayer, etc to come from us. We tried a church last weekend. All gave it a thumbs down. We are going to try another one next weekend.

Jazibel · September 2012

Finally have started moving K's bedtime to earlier in the evening. EV started workign 5am - 2pm today, so she's going to bed earlier too. I've been using the last hour or so to get homework done with both her and K asleep. K's great, making a lot more eye contact and chattering away in newborn fashion. The look he gives me, all smiling with his eyes just melts my heart.

QOTD: We're currently looking for a church, probably UU (my parents belong to a UU church in the Tucson area). EV and I were both raised without formal religion (practicing Christian holidays). I studied Women's Spirituality (my first Masters) in my early twenties at a progressive college in San Francisco. We both have a strong belief and faith in a Higher Power. We would love to have a community of like minded people (youth) for our children. It's a little daunting to find/enter a new church but my experience at one of the UU churches in the area has been great so far. Still looking at other churches perhaps closer to where we live...

hlke · September 2012

2moms2twins:

wow I just cant imagine that the transition was easy for your family - not so much for the religion part but the ANTI- woman part. But I love that overall it sounds like it all worked out and prolly makes for an amazing holiday time in that maybe you all celebrate everything together??? Most families i know where someone converted to being Muslim it was not received well and thought to be some fundamentalist agenda..blah blah brain washing - so I was just wondering.

Yeah, I probably should be clear that it wasn't always easy. It was helpful that my sister was willing to talk about her beliefs and what she was learning about/struggling with. At the beginning was hardest, because (as often happens when people convert) she was very gung ho about everything and not looking at things very critically. But pretty early on she began learning about Islamic feminism, and eventually got to the point where she can explain what Islam teaches about women vs. what is cultural and comes from the very traditional societies Islam has been practiced in. Her first introduction to Islam was in Kenya, not the middle east, and they tend to be more liberal about the role of women in Islam and society.

She has also become more flexible as she has practiced longer. She and her husband have since separated but S continues to practice Islam, even once she moved back to the U.S. Once she moved back she stopped covering because it connotes such a different meaning in the U.S.

And finally, as I've alluded to, in the period of a year my dad died and my sister's husband flipped out and started this horrible divorce, and that made this all seem much less important. We are happy to have as much time and as much celebration together as possible. We are happy that my niece will be raised here in the U.S. (my sister and her daughter being kept in UAE until my niece turned 18 was on the table for a while) and therefore are also happy to support my sister in raising her in the faith she intended.

I think there can be huge diffferences between the way Islam (or any religion) is practiced by individuals, and the effects when the most conservative/fundamentalist version is codified into law. When my BIL was trying to force a divorce under Sharia law in the United Arab Emirates (which would have basically stripped my sister of most of her rights), it was my sister's Muslim mother-in-law who stepped in and said "this is not right, and is not what Islam is about" and got her son to drop the Sharia divorce. Unfortunately, that codified fundamentalist Islam is often what is predominant in some middle eastern countries.

In summary, it's complicated! But it has worked out for us.

hlke · September 2012

I wrote a book not even TWB can beat! Smile

JoySeattle · September 2012

PCP: Massage this week, acupuncture next week, abdominal massage the week after. Ahhhh. I hope I can keep something similar to this up when actually ttc. I also need to get our release form signed/updated by my doc so we can order sperm shipped when we're ready.

Religion can be a touchy subject in our family. Our kids may come to UU church with me, but won't be taught about a specific dogma/god-head. I'd like my kids to learn about all major religions and to respect them and if they develop their own spiritual/religious beliefs at an older age that's fine/good by me as long as they're open-minded and respectful. We do know that we won't celebrate any religious holidays, including Christmas/Santa, which has caused some raised eyebrows among family and friends.

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