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April 2011 Moms
EDWHIP
member
I didn't know how much I would love being a mom
EDWHIP
member
until now. The past 17 months have been amazing and I am loving every minute of it. The problem is that I want one more and DH is done. I don't want to push the subject too much with him, but it makes me sad that this is it. I don't want to resent him, but I feel like I will if we don't have another. Anyone else in this boat?
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Re: I didn't know how much I would love being a mom
I'm in that boat with my second. My first (dd) was a horrible sleeper. I'm talking slept through the night at like 3.5. We spent 3.5 years ttc DS until I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Surgery, then I got preggo on my own after rounds and rounds of fertility drugs. Then went into pre term labor at 28.5 weeks and spent 12 weeks on bed rest before he was born perfect two days before due date. He was an easy baby. Is sorta wild now, but totally cute.
All that really long story to say. I feel your frustration because I could totally do it again on a heartbeat because it makes me sad that I am done. Even on bed rest. I loved pregnancy and birth and all of it both times. But after the scare with DS my hubby said no we were always a 2 kid family. Darn i u d keeps the accident from happening!
Hugs.....
I'm really sorry!
My DH and I made the decision to only have one child. It's a big decision to how many children you should have and you definitely both need to be on the same page.
This is tough because resentment may come up with either decision. You don't want to resent him and you don't want him to resent you if you do get pregnant again. Although, everyone seems to say that you only regret the children you don't have. Maybe it's just too soon for him?
I don't have any great advice except that you definitely want your DH on board if you decide to have another. And if you can never get him on board, try not to hold it against him forever. A family of three can be a wonderful thing! If it means that much to you though, maybe talk with him about adopting an older child later on, if he had a hard time with the baby stage. Or remind him that babies aren't all alike and just because you had a hard time with the first, doesn't mean the second will be so rough. Do you express how important it is to you?
Thanks for the responses!
Actually, the main reason my husband does not want another child is for financial reasons. And I do agree with him on that one. It just sucks that the size of a family has to be dependent on money when I see other families raising kids on much less. I know if we had another we would make it work. THe other reason is what a PP said, which is the baby years. DD was a tough baby...I don't think he is over the shock of it yet. I won't press him, but being a mom has made me feel like I am actually good at something! I haven't ruled out adoption, either.
Mac and cheese lover!
I'm just saying, he might change his mind, and it's not accomplishing anything to keep bringing it up now. I'm still overwhelmed with my little guy at this age. I'm just thinking I'll be less overwhelmed when he's more verbal, etc. Maybe your husband will feel the same way.
Maybe what you could do is revisit the issue in a few years. Good luck!
Mac and cheese lover!