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December 2011 Moms
Help w/ separation anxiety/screaming
DS is in this awesome phase right now where from the time he gets up from his afternoon nap until bedtime (+/- 4 hours, we do the 2-3-4 routine), he has to be touching me to be happy. Either climbing or being held is preferred, sitting right by me or between my legs isn't sufficient.
Obviously this isn't conducive to getting dinner made, dishes done, bottles made, daycare bag ready... you get the idea. We had a little over 2 hours of screaming last night (I got home from 5, MIL was watching him and just kept him happy). It's great to play at first, but mommy jungle gym is exhausting and I HAVE to get other stuff done. I can't even get up and stand right next to him without him screaming. I had to go to the kitchen and he could see me from the living room... screaming.
I finally went upstairs after I settled him in with toys and shut the door. I was at my wit's end, it's like deja vu to the younger infant days where he would just scream for hours on end. DH says mornings are fine (he's home with him until 11:30), and he does fine with MIL/daycare, it's just at night. It happens on the weekends too, so I know it's not just with me.
He doesn't have a temp, sleeps well, no pulling at the ears, no bumps on his gums but I'm suspecting his top teeth are slowly making their way down due to the increase in drool/chewing on his hands and the runny nose.
I'm thinking it's just some nasty separation anxiety and he just gets super clingy at night. Any ideas on how to get through this? We had had an awesome string of several weeks where nighttime was great after a few months of me dreading coming home from work. I'm back to the dreading coming home and I hate it, but it's just not feasible for me to be holding/touching him all the time.
Baby Charchie born 12/22/2011
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help w/ separation anxiety/screaming
Do you have a carrier? It's not ideal but when DS is super clingy and I must get things done I put him in the Ergo.
I do not know how much "help" I will be but I can sympathize.
Josephine gets dropped off at the sitter at 6 am... she is happy as a clam. I pick her up at 3:30, she's fine until about 4. Then she wants her bottle (no problem) except she won't let me make it. She screams bloody murder like I've done the most horrible thing in the world to her if I set her down. DH is no substitute. She will scream with him until I pick her up again.
She climbs my legs as I do dishes, I am near refusing to cook dinner, because he can't keep her away from me, so she doesn't get splattered on or burned. I can't even pee with out her crawlilng in trying to climb my legs.
I am convinced it is because I work. I'm sure my anxiety doesn't help her either, I feel like a piece of crap for working, but I am the one who went out and got a degree, and pays most of our bills. DH works very hard at a decent job, but it wouldn't be enough for me to stay home.
I think she's feeding off of me.
Are you uptight about leaving your LO? I'm trying to actively pay attention to my energy and make sure it's positive when I'm around her.
I do have a carrier, but this is where I'm torn. I want him to learn it's ok for me to be not right there, but at the same time I don't want to have him scream so much. I feel like I'm just continuing the trend of letting him be touching me and not learning to be more self-sufficient... but he's never been a good self-soother. Developmentally I'm not sure what's best right now.
I tried wearing Josephine to do dishes... she hates that too... I think she just wants undivided attention, and it sounds like that's what you're giving your LO... I hope this phase passes quickly for you!
I ended up in tears last night because this brought me back to the early days when I really struggled. We had had such a good stretch of time where I was actually enjoying being a mom and looked forward to going home to see him... this too shall pass.
You are right, it will pass. I will keep thinking of you, I know how stressful it can be.
I just thought of something that I'm going to try... Maybe take him for a walk when you get home, really overstimulate him.
Also, do you do any sort of TV (I know it isn't reccommended), Josephine can be distracted with Mickey Mouse Club House, or Doc McStuffins.... I know, I know, not the best idea. But when I need to get stuff done, I'm willing to let her watch 30 minutes so I can fold clothes. Please note, it doesn't always work... But when it does... I can get a few things done.
We ended up going on a walk last night because that was the only thing that'd keep him quiet. He LOVES going for walks. That's not possible every night, but now that it's cooler I'm hoping we can get out a little more. He doesn't care much for the TV anymore, he used to watch it a little in the morning when DH was getting ready for work. Now he doesn't care about it. Punk!
Ouch. I don't know what I'll do if Josephine stops liking Mickey Mouse... scary thought.