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April 2012 Moms
SAHM's, how much does DH help?
In our house it's about 90/10. DH helped a lot when Lincoln was a newborn but as he's gotten older, I do pretty much everything. He's always playing with him and is a fantastic dad and he always holds/watches him when I make dinner or want to take a shower but other than that, it's all on me. I've given him every bath from day one and I put him down for all his naps and to bed (he's come to prefer me for naps and bed, so DH really can't help with that even if he offered). But since I'm home with Lincoln all day we have our own little routine and it would kind of be an inconvenience for me to have DH do certain things. I love being home all day and taking care of him and DH works and let me quit my job when Lincoln was born so this is not at all a "complain about the lack of help I get" post. I was just curious!
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Re: SAHM's, how much does DH help?
ETA is this just about baby stuff? When he's home it's 50/50
Sorry bump mobile ate my punctuation
I work two days a week, and DH works much more than a 40 hour workweek.
I cook, water plants, do most cleaning, do laundry, and much of the baby care.
DH does the yard work, takes care of the cars, the dog, vacuums and dusts.
On the weekends, I still do more of the DS-related duties and care, but it makes sense because I EBF and we have our own routine. DH helps as needed.
I feel like we have a fair household.
I was just asking about baby stuff. But my DH does a lot of the cleaning, laundry and we take turns with dinner.
This sounds like us too. I EBF as well so DH can't help with feeding. I also prefer to put him down for naps/bed because I can do it quicker and he prefers me.
DH helps out when he is home. He does bedtime for DD1 and sometimes DD2 depending on how it works out. He helps with showers for the girls.
But since I'm home and he works I do most of the cooking/laundry/cleaning (he does a good amount of cleaning as well)
For housework and chores/errands, it is probably 95/5 to be honest. DH works very long hours (he rarely sees the kids at all on weekdays) so it just works out that way.
TONS. But that's probably because we have two. We play a man-to-man defense when we are both home. Generally I have DD (because I have boobs) and DH takes our son. I do all of the cooking because DH loathes that chore, but he is pretty much in charge of cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. While I cook, DH has our son and DD is in the high chair in the kitchen with me. DH is also in charge of DS's baths most of the time because I am usually nursing or putting DD down for bed. On the weekends, I do try to ask him to do stuff because otherwise, he won't necessarily think of it---like diaper changes. I'm usually the one who keeps track of when they each last had their diaper changed.
I do remember feeling this way when we just had DS though--especially on the weekends. DH and I sat down one day and I told him that I wanted him to take more initiative in caring for DS when we was home at night and on the weekends. DS started getting up with us on Saturday mornings. I would nurse DS and then go back to bed for an hour or two while DH stayed awake and played with DS. DH was also in charge of the majority of weekend diapers and of putting DS down for most of his weekend naps.
I do slightly more of the "big" house cleaning (bathrooms, counters and whatnot) but he does the floors which I HATE. He does dishes every night and the kids' baths and he actually puts DS to bed (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY). DD would never ever ever go to bed for him, like I would get home from work at 11 PM and she'd still be up, so that's awesome.
I don't know, we try to keep it even, I guess.
With our first two he helped a lot. He did bed time and feedings when he was home.He never did baths because he was nervous about it when they were so young.
With Avery,I do most of it. I ebf (the other two were ff), it just seems easier. He plays with her and will change her diaper if he notices she needs to be changed before I do, but I feed her and put her to bed everytime.
He is a great dad. This is just what works for us. Like you said, it would be inconvenient for me to ask him to do any more than he does.