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Adoption
intro & a question
Hi everyone, i've been lurking for awhile I decided to introduce myself before asking a question.
My name is Kayla im 24 and DH, Eric, is 24 as well. We have been married almost 2 years and have been TTC for 20 months. From the beginning of our relationship adoption has always been something we have talked about, since DH was dx with cancer at 19 and told that treatments may leave him sterile (though a recent s/a came back normal) & shortly after we married, I was dx with PCOS. So adoption has always been on our radar, but as a "back up plan" .
The last 6 months or so I have really been feeling the call to adopt. I talked to DH about it, and he agreed that he too as a desire to adopt, whether or not we have bio. children. So we have decided that adoption is no longer a 'back up plan', though we both still desire to have bio children, we also plan on adopting as well.
My question is, Where do we start? All agencies I have looked at require both partners be at least 25, so it will be about another year until we can get the process started. But is there anything we can do in the mean time to prepare (ie: pay off debt, etc) to make things easier once we actually start working with an agency?
Sorry if this is a silly question, I just don't know where to start and I would like to start preparing sooner rather that later.
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Re: intro & a question
Hi and welcome.
I'd start with the FAQs at the top of the board, if you haven't seen them already. There are some good resources there.
If you're planning a domestic infant adoption through an agency, they are typically $$$$. So now would be a good time to save up as much $ as you can to make the fee schedule that much more manageable. I'd also see what kinds of wait times are involved with the agencies you're interested in. Some may let you into their program immediately, while others have a lag between application and next steps.
Other than that, just enjoy your time as a married couple. It changes a lot once kids come along. You may still be able to travel, etc., but it adds a whole new layer of complexity.
Welcome!! This is a very nice and supportive board, don't worry about your question being silly - no question is silly, and chances are there are other people out there wondering the same thing that you are.
I agree with saving money, if you are doing international or domestic infant it can be very expensive. Also take this time to learn as much as possible about the different types of adoption. When DH and I began researching adoption a few months ago we wanted to do domestic infant. While researching and reading books, blogs and this board we realized we felt called to adopt from foster care instead.
Good luck and again, welcome!!
HI Kaylavi! I know you! I am new to the adoption journey also. I would start by trying to attend some of those agency orientations whenever possible so you can get to know the various agencies better and what might be needed in the application process. Then anything you don't feel comfortable with in the application, start working on. That might be saving money, paying off debt, making changes to your house. For example, we have a pool so are having to make some changes. We also have a gun so have to get a safe. Also, there are some great books out there you can start to read and get an idea for the various types of adoption and the process.
DH and I have just about picked an agency in Houston (Homes of St Mark) so look forward to sharing that with you if you choose to look in H town! They actually may be a really good one for you guys because they do their Pride training (required for Texas adoptions) in just a four consecutive days instead of you guys having to drive to Houston every week lfor a month or so like most agencies will make you do. Maybe you will be able to find an agency closer to where you live though-that would be ideal.
Thanks for the info ladies. DH and I are currently working on paying off as much debt as possible.
We are currently trying to decide if we want to wait to start the process until after we get settled in our own home. Buying a home would of course increase our debt but the home we rent currently is an older home that needs some work.
D&H, when the time comes i definitely will have to get with you about some Houston agencies.