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Safe bedsharing?

drubiedrubie
in Attachment Parenting
Ok, I'm going to eat my pre mama words about bed sharing. My husband who works in child welfare and has seen some pretty horrible outcomes for kids with bed sharing and I always said we would have our baby room share but not bed share. Well, now he's here and we're rocking nursing together, and he's wonderful and amazing and he eats about every hour to hour and a half. And when he's not nursing, he doesn't sleep well anywhere but in someone's arms, on their chest. Wouldn't be a problem, but it means I can't sleep when he sleeps if I'm not holding him. So how can I set my bed up to have him with me safely? I know that denying that this is what we need to do is only keeping unsafe conditions for him, so I might as well set us up properly for a family bed. We have a king sized bed, and right now I've got my big snoogle body pillow which I can ditch though it's still nice to use, plus 1 to 2 regular pillows, the sheet and a lightweight blanket. Thanks for your help!

ETA: side lying nursing is working great for us, so just one more bonus if we can bed share at night!
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Re: Safe bedsharing?

  • PurpleDrewbie5PurpleDrewbie5 member

    How old is your little one? We did this for a few months and it worked well for us. When DD started rolling I moved her to a bassinet next to the bed, then a pNp and then to her crib which is still in our room. DD is 11 months now and when she sleeps with us (it isn't common but she has for the last 3 nights, not sure what the deal is) she sleeps in the middle. However, when she was really little, prior to rolling, she would sleep on the outside of me. I kept my arm tucked around her and she was snuggled next to me. I miss those days. :(

    I'm sure what your husband has seen is terrifying. I can imagine most of those parents were intoxicated/severely sleep deprived? As long as you're being safe bed sharing is an acceptable choice. H and I plan to get a co-sleeper for our next child because having the baby close at that stage gave me so much more sleep.

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  • Izybel18Izybel18 member

    You will get so much more sleep :) The first time I fell asleep in the rocking chair in the middle of the night, that was it for trying NOT to bedshare anymore! So good for you in realizing that safely bedsharing is better than the alternative!

    I also had a Snoogle but ditched it when DD was really little. Now that she's older and can move her head easily, I use it and it helps because I've never been a side sleeper. Just keep pillows and blankets away from his face, and keep him on his back as much as possible. We always had DD in the middle, but some people prefer baby on the outside if their partner moves a lot. 

    You might be more comfy with a pillow between your legs. I found it cut down on my stiffness from sleeping on my side. 

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  • rnbeth477rnbeth477 member
    We did this most of the time with DS from birth to 4 1/2 months. It was really the only way I was going to get any sleep. I would side lay nurse and usually fall asleep. DS would lay next to me on whichever side I nursed on. I would just make sure there were no pillows or blankets near him.

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  • prasad007prasad007
    When baby is small with no neck control or ability to roll, he should sleep beside mum only (not dad, not in the middle). Get a bed rail for the side where baby will sleep to keep him from falling off. Keep his face away from pillows, and use minimal blankets. Enjoy the extra snuggles and sleep! :)
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