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High-Risk Pregnancy
jenaliat
member
"Feel better soon!"
jenaliat
member
One of the many phrases I have come to hate. I know people just don't understand, but I feel great! I am on bed rest because of my cervix...
I also wish people would stop telling me that they would love to not have to do anything all day. My response has become "it is one thing to choose not to do anything and totally different to not be able to do ANYTHING.
How are you handling people's ignorant comments?
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Re: "Feel better soon!"
It is so hard not to snap on people when they say stupid things....I have a cousin who is due the end of October, 22 years old, not married. All she has done since she was pregnant is complain about getting the baby out so she can party. Really?! I am praying that my baby girl stays put!! She posted again on FB about being ready for the baby to be out, while she is on vacation with our family. The vacation I missed due to be on bed rest. I want to tell her she is blessed her baby is staying put and she is able to go and do still...
Umm ditto! Some friends came to visit last night and bring food and said "oh we're sorry you feel so crappy!". I'm like, "actually, I feel great!" It's natural to think that bed rest = feeling crappy, when that's not the case at all.
I haven't encountered the dumb comments about bed rest as much, but for the few who have said something I replied the same as you - it's different when it's not a choice!
Everyone asks me ALLLL the time, "how are you feeling?" Well physically I am fine, mentally is another story! This might be my reply next time!
Amen!! Sometimes I feel like saying, actually, I feel great - minus the emotional wreck I can be every now and again. Nothing like feeling helpless and terrified that you're going to deliver too early. But other than those moments, life's a breeze! Thanks for stopping by!!
Oh well
Exactly! I have had a WONDERFUL pregnancy. I thought I would be a wreck the entire time, worried about everything, hormonal, sick...nope. It has been fabulous. 3 weeks of M/S, a few spells of being overly hormonal and that's all!
NOW I am a mess. I worry every time my tummy feels a little hard and my lower back hurts that I am having contractions. Then I feel like a moron for thinking of calling the Dr. THEN I worry that I SHOULD call the dr, just in case.
Layer that on top of only see this year's kids for 12 days and knowing there is a greater chance I won't be back at work until January..so I'm missing half the school year. Sitting alone (thank God for my dog!), too much time to think and worry!
I feel robbed of my wonderful pregnancy. It is hard to enjoy it locked away like Rapunzel. We do, in fact, live in an elevated floor plan house..so I really feel like Rapunzel. lol
End of vent. I have needed to get that out. Thanks for letting me.
Here's a gem though: the other week my FIL tells me, "I know how you feel, I've been laid up with this bad foot for 2 weeks now!" This from the man who has also never said a word to me about our loss...but that's another story.
Um, no. Having a bad foot that requires you to use a cane for a few weeks is NOTHING like having a high risk pregnancy. I've been down for TEN weeks and can do absolutely nothing. You just got in your car and drove over here, I can't even do that! Then he tells me how stir crazy he's going because he "can't get out and do much". This man sits in his chair all day and watches tv, goes to Dr appts and runs a few errands, that's IT. They don't even ever go out to dinner, to the movies, they don't go out with friends, nada. So I'm wondering what aspect of his "active" life he's missing out on, lol. I just nod my head and don't say anything. He's an old man and has never been socially "graceful" so I'm not surprised by these type of comments, though I do still want to punch him in the face! Grrr...
Thanks for this thread, I guess I needed to get that out too!
People are so clueless. We (for the most part) feel good, and feel like going and doing. We put our baby at risk if we do though! HUGE difference between a HR pregnancy and BR versus an injury!
After my cerclage people were making comments about my "simple"procedure and how I didn't need to worry anymore. Apparently getting your cervix stitched closed while PG is simple and no it does not stop the worry.
While on bedrest with my DD I got a lot of the " enjoy lounging around all day and sleeping " comments. Yeah because not being able to do a thing for yourself and having to lay flat on your back for weeks is not relaxing or fun. Oh and no it isn't the same as your shoulder surgery. If I do one thing wrong I risk having my baby early.
It is hard to describe to people how upsetting it is to not be able to enjoy pregnancy and to feel like your body isn't doing what it should. It is also really hard to depend on everyone else to do everything for you
It is super hard to depend on everyone for so much...
I hate it when people tell me to "enjoy it while you can, you won't rest when the baby comes!". Ugh. Really?! I agree with feeling like your body isn't doing what it should...
jenaliat, it sounds like you are a teacher. I teacher 6th grade math, you? I was at school for one day only this year, then my doctor put me on full bed rest. The kids must be so confused. I feel bad for "abandoning" them but hopefully they'll remember me when I return in a few months.
I teach 5th grade. This is the first year I would keep this group of kids all day and now I have abandoned them...it is sad. It is also the sweetest group I have ever had, so that makes it even worse!! My dr originally said I could possibly go back after 6 weeks, but that only puts me at 34 weeks. I don't want to go back to work and go into labor that soon! At that point I might as well just stay out, keep things consistent for the kids at least. It seems pointless to go back at 34 weeks, go into labor at some point, and then be out again...
Not to mention I am wanting this baby to stay as LONG as possible, 34 weeks is still scary, it just means I won't have to go to a larger hospital out of town to have her...no exactly my goal! I want a full term baby if at ALL possible!
The dumbest comment I've gotten so far has been from my stepdad, God love him. I think I'd been in the hospital a week and we'd come out of our first rough patch. I was 28ish weeks. He said, "well you don't have that much longer to go anyway. What is it now, like two weeks?" I calmly explained that I was about 12 weeks shy of term and how much the baby would weigh, etc. this conversation took place AFTER the man toured the NICU with dh. And he knows my due date is in November. Sigh.
I think there are two types of people. Those who think pregnancy is a disease and we are all delicate flowers who can't do anything for ourselves. Or those who it just never occurs to them that bad things can happen in this process. I wish my pregnancies were normal. But they're not. Which is why we won't go for number 3 unless there's a major birth control malfunction. And yes, in spite of my oh so fun pregnancies, people still ask that.
Yeah, I've gotta agree. People seem mainly concerned about how bored I am, but I'm not bored! I'm frustrated, worried, and sad. That's different! And yes if they were that concerned, they'd visit!
My FIL also said the "well you don't have too much longer" comment. Actually, I'm not even halfway there yet so...wrong again.
I wish people would ask how I'm coping mentally. That would be nice!