Anxiety

Carrie3102 · September 2012

I have been having a lot of anxiety lately.

I am terrified that something bad is going to happen, and I cry after leaving Josephine with the sitter everyday, I cry most of the morning at work, and race home to get her, because I'm convinced that w/o me there, something horrible will happen to her.

Then when I get home, I don't let her out of my sight. I get up 3-4x/night to check her even if she doesn't get up. I lay awake listening to the monitor... I'm making myself sick.

I am also driving my hubby nuts. I am not sure where this is all coming from. I've been working since she was 2 months old, and been fine, but lately, I'm not. I made the sitter let me put the base to her carseat in the car for her, no one is allowed to take her anywhere without me checking the base first.

We do finger foods at home, but I refuse to let anyone else do them.

Am I crazy? I'm just scared to death all the time. Please tell me that I'll go back to normal at some point.

Carrie3102 · September 2012

Thank you, I was looking for nearly that response, I just wanted to be sure that my level of anxiety wasn't "usual".

See I didn't even really realize it was a problem until Friday night. My husband said right to me (not like him, he's normally pretty level headed), Carrie, I'm worried about you, not just physically (m/c on 9/3), but mentally. You never worry this much, I have never seen you freak out about so many little items, about so much that is out of your control, and even worse. I don't know how to help you.

Then I thought back over the month of August, and started to see his point. I've gone BSC.

sportsmomma · September 2012

I have OCD literally not in the joking way most people say they have it and having a child has really made it flare up. My obsessions are over health and safety so they are similar to yours. My compulsions are mental rumination, overuse of medical supplies and resources we're at the doctor alllll the time, I check my blood pressure often, have a pulse ox at home, take LO's temp daily, etc and asking for reassurance this drives my hubby nuts.

I have found in the past that cognitive behavioral therapy with a psychologist was most effective for me. I do my best to avoid Meds partially due to my obsession over the side effects and have done ok. I used to have to have some on me for panic attacks but now I know how to ride them out better.

I think it's worth talking to your doctor about. It may wind up that it's just normal FTM worries but it's best to be sure.

Just know you're not alone and I'll be thinking about you. Anxiety can be very tough to live with.

ETA: sorry it reads funky I forgot parentheses don't work on the mobile version

Carrie3102 · September 2012

BlueCards:
I have OCD literally not in the joking way most people say they have it and having a child has really made it flare up. My obsessions are over health and safety so they are similar to yours. My compulsions are mental rumination, overuse of medical supplies and resources we're at the doctor alllll the time, I check my blood pressure often, have a pulse ox at home, take LO's temp daily, etc and asking for reassurance this drives my hubby nuts. I have found in the past that cognitive behavioral therapy with a psychologist was most effective for me. I do my best to avoid Meds partially due to my obsession over the side effects and have done ok. I used to have to have some on me for panic attacks but now I know how to ride them out better. I think it's worth talking to your doctor about. It may wind up that it's just normal FTM worries but it's best to be sure. Just know you're not alone and I'll be thinking about you. Anxiety can be very tough to live with. ETA: sorry it reads funky I forgot parentheses don't work on the mobile version

Thank you. You woudln't believe how much better it makes me feel to know, I'm not the only one.

asyph107 · September 2012

You are def not the only one. Ive been on anxeity meds for years. Having each kid made it flare up wildly. I take meds for it and that helps along with practiced deep breathing and DH reassurance. I never found a therapist I liked so I abandoned it.

But yep same thing, worries that someone else caring for the boys will not see something, they will get hurt, or run over or kidnapped from the playground. Worries when I am home that someone will break in and kill us all. Sounds extreme if you aren't on the suffering end of anxiety but those of us that are all have our quirks about it.

You can start y talking to your PCP about where to head for relief, therapist recommendations, medication possibilities, etc. GL! Im here for you if you need an ear to bend!

uncharch7 · September 2012

Postpartum anxiety is less common than PPD but it most definitely still exists. Make an appointment with the doctor and discuss your concerns... bring your husband with you, that way you can both be on the same page about what s/he says and ask questions.

Also, if you're working (I can't remember), look into your company's EAP (or your husband's). A lot of times there are free/nearly free offerings for situations like this. I've used mine in the past and it went really well, it's definitely underused by most people. Good luck to you, I hope you're able to get to a comfortable place soon.

Carrie3102 · September 2012

Thank you ladies. I am glad I brought this to you all. I will discuss with my husband tonight.

browneyedgoil · September 2012

i have a lot of anxiety. i have always had anxiety in my life but now i feel it all just goes toward the baby. i worry about everything too. it can be hard.

spacedolphin11 · September 2012

I'm on my Nook so I can't quote, but like Uncharch said, postpartum anxiety definitely exists. When LO was about six months old I realized I was dealing with PPD/anxiety. I didn't realize it at first because it was so long after DS was born, and because I didn't think of anxiety as being part of PPD. I've struggled with depression for years and going back on the meds made a huge difference. Therapy is a great tool, too. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope things get better for you soon.

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