Honesty please - how much harder is it having 2?

anvloveskme · September 2012

So DH and I are going to start TTC as soon as I get my mirena removed next week. Presently, we both work full time and have a great day care situation (DD is just over 2 and goes to in home care with a family friend).

After DD, I took three months off with her and then went back to work part time. I did MWF for a while, then switched to Mon - Thurs 10 am to 5 pm and did that until DD turned 1, then went back to full time - Mon - Fri 9 am to 5 pm. DH works about the same, more like 9 am to 6 pm.

I have flexibility with work, but likely would not take off any more than 4 months this time and will go back part time after that - may stick with 3 days per week this time, or do an alternating 3 days one week, 4 days the next week.

I guess I just want some honest opinions or advice from working moms out there, what the transition from one child to two will be like. DD will be at least 3 when we have our next. Thoughts, comments, suggestions? Thanks!

mrsseguin · September 2012

I'll be honest, and I think I may be in the minority...but going from 1-2 has been very difficult for us. So much so that we wanted 3-4 kids, now we are seriously contemplating stopping at 2. The thought of 3 kids scares the crap out of us! We were both in survival mode for a while. Things got better slowly, like when the baby STTN, began walking, now talking and the kids can play with each other and keep busy.

Jinsy80 · September 2012

Super hard for us having two. Even more so that DD2 has special needs, so she's still on the level of a 12 month old or so (she's 21 months). I am exhausted. We will be waiting to have baby #3 until they are both in school.

Unknown · September 2012

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MammaBear81 · September 2012

Going from 1-2 wasn't hard for me at all, but it's not easy for everyone. I've always been able to take my kids to work with me, or had in home care, so I think that made it a lot easier in terms of going back to work. I've always been around kids, worked in day cares/preschools for several years and went to school for early childhood education. I'm not saying that makes me an expert by any means, but I think that made it easier for me to go from 1-2 than some other people.

mylittlesunshine · September 2012

I think there are certain parts which are harder/easier. It wasn't a cake walk though in the beginning...especially the first few weeks being back to work. I went back at 6 weeks (with both children) FT. I felt like our house was a circus trying to get us all out the door...plus my hours at worked changed, making me come in earlier (that was hard considering I had worked my old hours for the last 4 years).

I felt like it was easier, because going back to work after the 2nd was mentally easier then it was after having DD1. I am not as overwhelmed this time around. It also helps that DD1 loves to "talk" to DD2 which gives me a few minutes to get things taken care of.

I think overall, the first few weeks were very crazy (plus DD2 had mspi issues which weren't diagnosed until 1 month old), but if you can get past that it gets easier. Especially when you find a routine that works for your family. DD2 is almost 3 months and I am starting to feel like things are settling down and getting easier.

futuremrsmcnichols · September 2012

For me, it was hard in the beginning, but I had 2u2 and DD#2 was diagnosed with hearing loss at birth, then torticollis, so we were at alot of doctors appointments and therapy sessions there for awhile and it was chaos. Its alot better now and DH and I want more, but not right now. Maybe in like 4-5 years when both girls are school-aged and more self-sufficient. I want to enjoy my girls right now. Focus on them. Get them involved in activities and stuff like that before another one comes along.

maddie80 · September 2012

The parenting itself has been easier (as in, knowing how to care for a newborn, deal with feeding/sleep issues, etc.) - but adding a second little one into the mix and making sure to find time for both my older little one (who's 4) and the baby on top of full time work has been a bear. So much so that I'm looking at going down to part-time and taking a pay cut, because it's just so diffcult to feel like I'm giving everything and everyone enough time and attention.

itsmevkb · September 2012

We didn't find going from one to two very hard at all. Having a newborn I think is always hard just because of the lack of sleep, but once we were past that things just fell into a good routine. With two you can still divide and conquer............now with three it's a little different story.............

What concerns me about our having multiple children is as they grow up and things like how will I have time to help each with their homework at night or how many sports and other activities will they be able to do. But, I think two is a very doable number and I really only started thinking about these things when we added number three and then found out about number four.

I think you'll be fine.

snicksnack · September 2012

I had number 2 in June and I go back to work tomorrow. So far the hardest part has been the lack of sleep and keeping DD in line. She is two and wants to hug etc.. and not realizing the baby can't play with her toys or her own strengeth I have to watch her like a hawk. I think the lack of sleep is going to be the hardest when I start work tomorrow. Last time I could nap when DD was sleeping and that helped now I am just running on fumes. This leave has gone by so fast I don't really remember any of it and feel sad that because I have DD I have not been able to really spend much one-on-one time with DS. I use to sit and hold DD all the time not so much with DS it is just survival.

Bella427 · September 2012

McRib:
it was waaaay easier for us to go from 1 to 2. like 100 percent easier. we just brought another one into the routine. now we're going for 3. the hardest part about being a working mom with 2 is the sick days and doctors appoinments. you have to plan for that second illness once child 1 gets it you know you're due for child 2 to get it again in a few days. good luck. you will adapt. as my dh says 'our lives are already ruined. what's one more'

I agree with this. Our lifestyle had already changed, so that was no biggie. But the two of them passing viruses to each other really wipes out my sick time! Returning to work wasn't nearly as bad because I already knew the teachers and was very comfortable with him being in their care, since they already take great care of my oldest. The sleep part SUCKS (15 mo DS still doesn't STTN) but watching the two of them play together is amazing!

Leap08 · September 2012

McRib:
it was waaaay easier for us to go from 1 to 2. like 100 percent easier. we just brought another one into the routine. now we're going for 3. the hardest part about being a working mom with 2 is the sick days and doctors appoinments. you have to plan for that second illness once child 1 gets it you know you're due for child 2 to get it again in a few days. good luck. you will adapt. as my dh says 'our lives are already ruined. what's one more'

Yeah, it was way easier for us to go from 1 to 2. Our lives changed so much when we added a child and I think we were so unprepared in so many ways. No matter how much you plan, you just don't really know what you're getting yourself into until you bring that baby home. So, with number 2 our lives had already changed and we had a better idea of what to expect from a newborn. It didn't hurt that DD2 has been a really easy baby. She has also been a remarkably healthy baby. I've never had to miss a day of work to stay home with her. So, for us the sick day thing hasn't really changed at all. I've had to take a few days off for DD1, but luckily the bugs she has had DD2 hasn't gotten. This will probably change now that DD2 is more mobile and sticks everything in her mouth!

sunrae719 · September 2012

Going from 1 to 2 was super hard for us, and sometimes still is but it's getting easier. Mine are less than 2 years apart and DD had a lot of issues as a newborn, which made it harder. With one, we could switch off a lot more, but now we have two pretty high maintenance kids and we don't have that luxury. It's getting easier, now that DD is older DH feels more comfortable with both of them. He's always been really involved and we're a good team, but 2 is enough for us, sometimes more than enough!

mexicolombiana · September 2012

anvloveskme:
So DH and I are going to start TTC as soon as I get my mirena removed next week. Presently, we both work full time and have a great day care situation (DD is just over 2 and goes to in home care with a family friend).

After DD, I took three months off with her and then went back to work part time. I did MWF for a while, then switched to Mon - Thurs 10 am to 5 pm and did that until DD turned 1, then went back to full time - Mon - Fri 9 am to 5 pm. DH works about the same, more like 9 am to 6 pm.

I have flexibility with work, but likely would not take off any more than 4 months this time and will go back part time after that - may stick with 3 days per week this time, or do an alternating 3 days one week, 4 days the next week.

I guess I just want some honest opinions or advice from working moms out there, what the transition from one child to two will be like. DD will be at least 3 when we have our next. Thoughts, comments, suggestions? Thanks!

From one lawyer mama to another: If I can do it you surely can.

You got this! My girls freaking adore each other. That makes it worth it!

But prepared to pay your nanny big bucks!

Pesky · September 2012

It was hard but just from the work perspective. Ours are almost exactly 2 yrs apart and so we had 2 in a labor intensive phase. Add to that a DH who travels quite a bit and it was loads of fun. Honestly, it's not that bad once you find a groove and accept that at some point, both will be crying and you can't solve both problems at once. DS was a pretty easy baby but the hardest thing with him were some health issues (bronchitis, nebulizing every cold, tubes). I will say it has gotten a lot easier and the kids play together well now.

aglenn · September 2012

I think it has moments where it's really, brutally hard, and moments where it's no big deal at all. Most of the time it is somewhere in between. My DD has struggled a lot with sharing the spotlight and getting less attention. My DH travels a lot for work and I definitely feel stretched veeeery thin when he is gone. On the positive side, the baby stuff was a breeze the second time around. So much less nervewracking than it was with DD.

I've been sending this link to friends who ask me what it's like. She says it all much better than I can.

massdreams · September 2012

I would say going from 1 to 2 was harder for us than 0 to 1. It was just a whole new balance we needed to work out. I think the hardest part of it was that it just became so much harder to have a little downtime. I did always love the idea of having 3 kids, but we're pretty confident 2 is it for us. Maybe in a few years we would change our mind, but at this point with DS1, we were trying for our 2nd, and I just cannot imagine getting pregnant again now! My pregnancy with DS2 was also harder, so that is a factor.

That being said though, we are so in love with having our family of four and our two boys. So it is hard, but totally worth it.

ridesbuttons · September 2012

For me, working with 2 kids was not that much harder. Having 2 kids was/is harder though. Some stuff is easy (baby stuff) but juggling the needs of 2 kids (in my case 18 months apart) has been difficult. Honestly, being a working mom has made things manageable for me.

Daycare expense for a while was a beast: but I'm nearing the end of that expense (11 more months, woohoo!) though camp and other 'care' expenses will be coming up.

My work is very flexible so time off, coming late, leaving early was no problem. If I was punching a clock I'm sure things would have been much more stressful.

brewcitybride · September 2012

1-2 was/is very difficult for me, and I have a great situation, too. I have a very flexible workplace (although I do work 40 hours per week) DH is a teacher and is home in the summers, and we have lots of help from the in-laws. And it is STILL a struggle on many days. However, if you just take it day by day, it's not that it's unmanageable or not enjoyable, because I LOVE having two children. It's just that it takes more planning, more organizing, more time, more logistics. I have to be super super super organized, and I dont' get very much "me" time. It's also hard right now, because DS is 10 months, which I find to be a VERY hard age. He isn't content any longer to be held, but he can't walk yet, but he tries to walk, and then he falls and can hurt himself. So someone basically has to be with him all the time. So that's hard right now. But it's definitley doable! Just have all your ducks in a row and be PATIENT!

jnealet · September 2012

I'm in the harder camp. D1 just kind of tucked into our lives, we didn't have to change much. D2 isn't so easy going, so we've had to adjust more. And there aren't anymore breaks, there is always someone needing something.

I feel like I'm just grinding through my days these days, there isn't much stopping to smell the roses. But I do see the end in sight, both girls are gorwing more independant. One day I'll read, relax and maybe even pee by myself.

anvloveskme · September 2012

mexicolombiana:
anvloveskme:

So DH and I are going to start TTC as soon as I get my mirena removed next week. Presently, we both work full time and have a great day care situation (DD is just over 2 and goes to in home care with a family friend).

After DD, I took three months off with her and then went back to work part time. I did MWF for a while, then switched to Mon - Thurs 10 am to 5 pm and did that until DD turned 1, then went back to full time - Mon - Fri 9 am to 5 pm. DH works about the same, more like 9 am to 6 pm.

I have flexibility with work, but likely would not take off any more than 4 months this time and will go back part time after that - may stick with 3 days per week this time, or do an alternating 3 days one week, 4 days the next week.

I guess I just want some honest opinions or advice from working moms out there, what the transition from one child to two will be like. DD will be at least 3 when we have our next. Thoughts, comments, suggestions? Thanks!

From one lawyer mama to another: If I can do it you surely can.

You got this! My girls freaking adore each other. That makes it worth it!

But prepared to pay your nanny big bucks!

Hey C - seems like things are going great for you guys! 2 under 2 freaked me out! We have great day care that is so cheap you would probably just cry

)

BigIsland07 · September 2012

It's been WAY harder for us to go from 1-2, than 0-1. With 0-1, I just always wished there was more time. With 1-2, I feel like I'm falling apart half the time. Case in point: I haven't had a haircut since two months before DD was born (she's almost six months) and have had ONE mani/pedi (used to be at least a monthly occurrence). I don't have time for anything (workouts? no way. making dinner? forget about it.) Oh, and dealing with two at a time has been tough. Really tough. Attention, not enough hands. ANd the no sleep was BRUTAL (did I mention it was BRUTAL?) this time around. Holy jesus. We're getting to a better place now, but it has kinda sucked for awhile. So much so, that I actually used to say to DH (when DD was 10 weeks and under), "Honey. I think we made a mistake."

The upside? DD and DS are actually starting to play together. They LOVE each other. They're going to be great friends. It'll be so wonderful, so soon. For now, we're just pushing through!

JennJenn613 · September 2012

Going from 1 to 2 was easier for us than going from 0 to 1. You know what to expect, you have routines, and you're already used to getting no sleep.

That said, my DH has been helping out IMMENSELY and that is the only way I think we are getting through this. He gets DS1 up, dressed, and fed in the morning and takes him to DC. Meanwhile I take point on DS2. Some (work)days it's so bad that we never even get to hold the other kid. Embarrassed But we do our best through the week and then on weekends we get to be a family again.

It's all about divide and conquer here. I am constantly in awe of single moms. I am very, very aware of how helpful my DH is.

mexicolombiana · September 2012

anvloveskme:
mexicolombiana:
anvloveskme:

So DH and I are going to start TTC as soon as I get my mirena removed next week. Presently, we both work full time and have a great day care situation (DD is just over 2 and goes to in home care with a family friend).

After DD, I took three months off with her and then went back to work part time. I did MWF for a while, then switched to Mon - Thurs 10 am to 5 pm and did that until DD turned 1, then went back to full time - Mon - Fri 9 am to 5 pm. DH works about the same, more like 9 am to 6 pm.

I have flexibility with work, but likely would not take off any more than 4 months this time and will go back part time after that - may stick with 3 days per week this time, or do an alternating 3 days one week, 4 days the next week.

I guess I just want some honest opinions or advice from working moms out there, what the transition from one child to two will be like. DD will be at least 3 when we have our next. Thoughts, comments, suggestions? Thanks!

From one lawyer mama to another: If I can do it you surely can.

You got this! My girls freaking adore each other. That makes it worth it!

But prepared to pay your nanny big bucks!

Hey C - seems like things are going great for you guys! 2 under 2 freaked me out! We have great day care that is so cheap you would probably just cry )

Yes don't even tell me what you pay, I might cry! But I do LOVE our nanny so it's ok, we're just poor.

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Honesty please - how much harder is it having 2?

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