Moms of 2 or more...please come in

Re: Moms of 2 or more...please come in

• MammaBear81 member

  September 2012

  I think it really depends on the family dynamics.  We have 5 and many friends of mine with one or two kids have mentioned how the have "less time" than I do.  DH and I both work full time (DH goes between having an extra job or two and going to school part time).  When DH is home he steps up and pitches in, from making dinner to doing laundry.  We have the motto of "don't put it down put it away" and as silly as that sounds it works really well.  Taking the extra two seconds to put it away now saves more time in the long run.  We focus on the kids when they are awake, I spend about an hour after they go to bed straightening up, running the laundry and prepping for the next day.  DH takes about an hour when he gets up in the afternoon (while we still have childcare coverage) to prep dinner, and do whatever else needs to be done. We have our phone calendars and to do lists synched so we can communicate what needs to be done very easily (right now I work days and he works nights).

  We also have live in care, I can't imagine dropping them all off in the morning before I go to work.  I think you need to look at your reasoning for having a second, and weigh your own pros and cons, and no one but you and DH can decide that.  GL
  

  
  
    
  

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• shannm member

  September 2012

  Ours are separated by four years and it has been great.  DS has become pretty independent recently and has made things much easier.  He even helps keep the baby entertained when I need to get ready in the morning.  She loves her big brother.  I can't imagine having a baby when he was a toddler.  My hat goes off to all those moms who have two that are so little!

  My DH is great and does as much as his schedule lets him.  It really hasn't been bad at all! 

  Edit - I will add that we now have two different drop offs/pick ups that are not anywhere near each other in the city (or our jobs).  We haven't been doing it for very long but we think that we will survive it and it will be the best for both of the kids. 

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• gwennec member

  September 2012

  Mine are 25 months apart and it is exhausting. Life seems very busy and nonstop these days. So I think the closer you have them together, the more work it will be for you in the short term. 5 years is a great age gap. The older one will be much more independent and can help out. Plus she will be in kindergarton, so you won't have both of them at home with you when you are home with the new baby.

  Maternity leave was crazy for me. We have a nanny and kept her for DD1 while I was home so I could focus on the baby. I can't imagine watching both of them.

  You can totally do it. I feel like a multi tasking queen. And even doing the simplest things like going to the grocery store or target with both of them alone makes me feel like I can accomplish anything.

  

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• BuckeyeNut05 member

  September 2012

  Its totally doable! We tried for one and ended up with two, so we've had two from the start. They're almost four months and we both work full time, and our girls are in daycare. I am not going to lie, its slightly difficult and you don't hve much time for yourself, but if you are organized and keep a fairly rigid schedule, you'll do just fine!

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• KCD053109 member

  September 2012

  My DD is in 3rd grade and DS is almost 6 mos old, DH and I both work full time; its crazy intense at times and you pretty much have to keep a schedule to make sure everything gets done. And weekends are definitely our down times and times to unplug from the world, focus on family and home. The weeks are definitely the most hectic and the more prep work you can do the night before to be ready to go in the morning; the better and more smoothly your life will be. And make sure you don't take on all the extra responsibilities by yourself.

  DH is great but I do have to remind him from time to time that I need help. (Most) men are horrible about that; unless it is literally biting them in the assss they are oblivious to what needs to be done.
  

  

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• dragon_chica member

  September 2012

  DS is 2 years and 2 weeks younger than DD.  I'm very efficient and a total multi-tasker but even this caught me for a loop!  You learn to slow things down even more than you possibly thought you could.  You learn to prioritize, become BFFs with crockpots and rotisserie chicken, and you learn finally take those offers of babysitting help from family and friends.  The first several months was tough with DS being so young and immobile.  But now, it's gotten so much better.  DS and DD can entertain each other in the living room while I'm cooking dinner.  DD is now old enough to help around like letting our dog out and back in.  I've organized all her toys and she's been taught how and where to put them away so it makes the house less of a tornado.  They've been taking baths together for the past 6 months so that's made bedtime so much easier.  In the end it is really tough at first but it gets easier and easier.  It just takes some more adjustment, being realistic, and having a supportive spouse.
  

  

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