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December 2011 Moms
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Pets and Smokers...an *am I wrong* kind of thread

CountingUpCountingUp
in December 2011 Moms

My grandma, dad and his wife, my (maternal) aunt and her partner (who is my cousin on my dad's side lol) all live together in a small-ish home. They all smoke. There are 3 small dogs that piss on the carpet. I refuse to take the baby there and I suspect that this is upsetting to my grandma.

I've offered to pick grandma up and take her out for lunch or bring her here.

I'm sad that she's not getting to see her great-grandbaby more but ....

The dog thing is easier at my Aunt/Uncle's place as their dogs don't pee inside and are kept in kennels when we visit due to the fact that they have a history of violence. They kept the dogs downstairs even before we had a baby. One went a little sideways on my husband...apparently ball caps are not good...or being a man

 

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Re: Pets and Smokers...an *am I wrong* kind of thread

  • sportsmommasportsmomma member
    I think that since you are very intentional about inviting your grandma to see LO at a neutral, non-smoky, non-urine location makes it okay. My grandma smokes like a chimney and that's how we do it too, I ALWAYS make sure she gets plenty of opportunity to see and bond with LO but it's not at her home and I ask that she washes her hands after smoking. When he was younger and she was spending a lot of time snuggling him, I requested she put a clean shirt over her smoky one or wear a jacket or something she kept outside/in the garage when she smoked. She has been very understanding and never complained about it and they have a great relationship!
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  • ccip82ccip82 member
    No, you are not wrong at all. I would not want to expose my DD to smoke and dog urine. You are trying to invite your grandma out to other locations and make time for her too. I would not feel guilty about that at all. It sounds like your grandma understands as well.

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  • CountingUpCountingUp
    I invite but she doesn't accept. She has met A twice.
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  • ccip82ccip82 member

    imageCountingUp:
    I invite but she doesn't accept. She has met A twice.

    Ugh! I'm sorry, I misread what you wrote! In that case, have you tried talking to her about the reasons why you do not want your LO over there? Also, is there anything outside the home your grandma enjoys doing that you could possibly meet her at with LO?

    Also, my family is really far away and we Skype all the time. My parents love it and it's a way for them to still bond with E. She recognised immediately my mom when we went back to the States and went right to her. They have been able to witness her milestones like crawling, babbling, etc. Skyping is free and most iPhones have e capability to Skype. We Skype using our iPad and laptop.  

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  • blue2355blue2355

    You are not wrong at all. Who wants to expose their child to such things at risk of getting ill or future health issues. As much as it sucks you are totally in the right.

    When we go to visit my family (12hour drive) My mother is aware that my son is not allowed in her house as there are 4 of them chain smoking indoors. She understands and we set up at an alternative location.

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  • MrsT2008MrsT2008 member

    you are not wrong at all.  I would not expose A to those things.  And if she continues to decline your invites to come to your house, that is her loss and there isn't anything you can do about it.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation :(

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