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Question for Adopting Parents

Mom2ToddlerMom2Toddler
in Adoption

I am a 35 year old mom that is pregnant with my 2nd child.  I currently have a 4 year old daughter that is healthy and we have had no issues with her.  I am married and both my husband and I have advanced degrees.   Our plan was always just to have 1 child.  We did not use protection 1 time and now I am 12 weeks pregnant.  We have completed the NT Scan and Harmony test and all looks good for this child.  We will be getting a more intense scan at 15 weeks to make sure all is healhty and looking good bc of my age and the fact that I did take Xanax a handful of times and was on a low dose of daily Prozac before I knew I was pregnant( but the drs. say that  should not affect the child) but stopped all of the meds as soon as I found out (around 5 weeks).  I am writting because even though we finacially can afford an addition to our home.  I  am not ready for anymore children.  I mentioned the idea of adoption to my DH and he said that he would be willing to talk about it.  My question is this.  Since I am an older mom does that scare adopting parents away from this child? I would most likely pick a closed adoption and am willing to get any testing the adopting parents would request. 

Any thoughts on this matter would be great. 

 

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Re: Question for Adopting Parents

  • crene84crene84 member
    I am matched with a BM that is 36 years old and I didn't think twice about it.  Good luck!
    Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010 
    DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal 
    3 Femara cycles - Oct, Nov, Dec 2011, all BFNs 
    IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN :( 
    Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN 
    Home Study Finalized 8/14/12! Profile Active - 8/17/12! 
    Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12! 
    Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13! 

     Our Angel through Adoption
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  • Julie721Julie721 member
    Our BM was close to your age, and I didn't think about it at all. Good luck!
    imageimageimageDaisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers November 2011: after nearly two years of infertility, we are moving on to domestic infant adoption. February 2012: Matched! May 2012: Placed with our son!
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  • House of LovelockHouse of Lovelock
    We've seen/met lots of birthmoms in their 30's! I think it's much more common than people believe.
    < img width=450 src="http://alturl.com/b76m9" border="0" /> Wife to Joel. Mommy to Jude, Zara, Cruz + Ever. Adopting #5 & Enjoying life in Southern California. www.houseoflovelock.com
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  • Amyaggie97Amyaggie97
    We also wouldn't have a problem with a BM in their 30's.
    Me- 37, DH- 32. TTC- June 2010- Adoption journey started April 2012 image
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  • Rachel SonnierRachel Sonnier member
    I don't think its a big deal. I know tons of women who have had perfectly healthy children in their 30's. 
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  • donmitch79donmitch79 member
    I wouldn't think twice about it. A lot of my friends are in their mid thirties and just starting their families.  It is very common in this region. 
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  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    No, I wouldn't think twice about it because you're in your 30s.  Just wanted to wish you all the best in making your decision. 

     

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  • F2AMomF2AMom
    I'm brand new here, but once I saw the Adoption board, I had to join! First, I commend you for making what has to be a difficult decision. To give you my thoughts... My husband and I are licensed foster parents that are adoption motivated - have fostered twice, with the second resulting in adoption! With fostering, sometimes we either don't know much about the birth mom, or if we do, it's not usually great news. I wouldn't worry about your age or situation at all! The fact that you are being proactive and taking care of the baby are fabulous. There are PLENTY of people out there looking to adopt a child and if you do decide to do it, you'll surely find the right match for you. Best of luck!
    Look before you leap - but leap.
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  • bhead81bhead81 member
    Our BM was 39 and I did not think twice about it.  By the time we were matched she missed the opportunity to do the test for downs,etc but we were not concerned about it, we would love the baby anyway.  Our BM has mental instabilites in her family (not her but her mom and brother) and that too did not worry us.  As long as you are open with any potential parents I would not think you would have any issues matching.  Good luck and keep us posted!!
    Brenda & Phillip married 10/10/09 

    After 6 years of failed cycles, we were blessed with our little man through adoption. 
    B born 1/3/2012. Adoption finalized 12/27/12

    Back  on the IF crazy train...
    Sept 2013 - IVF #1 -  BFP, EDD 6/4/14, born 6/8/14
    Everyone welcome

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  • ellekaeellekae member

    I think some prospective adoptive parents might even prefer a more mature expectant mom. 

    Our Adoption Blog & Fundraising Efforts

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  • JellyTwoPointOJellyTwoPointO member
    No, I wouldn't be bothered if my future BM was your age.
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    TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012  BFP #2 on 10/28/2012  EDD of 7/13/13  Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.

    I love my rainbow baby!


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  • lindsayandleviadoptlindsayandleviadopt

    I think that the only thing that matters to us is that you loved your child enough to think of life and to prepare an adoption plan instead of other alternatives. I've personally never really thought much about what age our BM would be. Our main priority is that our BM will be at peace with her decision and will know that we will always share with our adopted child how much they are loved and that they were a huge blessing to us!

     

    I would say to try and talk to other BMs to get their experiences if you are curious. Good luck on your journey. 

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  • kacellekacelle member
    I wouldn't hesitate to adopt a child from an "older" BM.  
    Married to my best friend 6/5/10
    BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
    BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
    BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
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  • MrsZ816MrsZ816 member

    I'm new here and to the whole adoption process so I hope no one minds that I am chiming in.  I would not be scared away from your child at all.  Your prenatal care and testing are important factors and I would in fact be happy to adopt a child that I know had such excellent care before birth.

    Good luck with a very difficult decision.

    Married 8/2009, TTC since 4/2010
    ME: 30, DOR- Low amh, normal fsh/afc DH: 30, morphology issue
    IVF #1- BFN
    IVF #2- BFP!!! Beautiful baby girl became an angel on 2/6/13 at 17.5 weeks due to PPROM/IC
    IVF #3- New RE... February March 2014! 8r/6m/6f. Transferred one and have one frostie! BFP! EDD 12/7/14
    **PAIF/SAIF welcome    **

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