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Stay at Home Moms
joyfullyfound
member
Poor DH :( (vent-ish)
joyfullyfound
member
Today was DH's birthday, and the first part of our day was pretty fun! I gave him his presents, which he really liked. We had cinnamon buns from his favourite bakery for breakfast, and went out for lunch, then went on a great hike... it was a beautiful day.
But I started to feel bad when no one called... my parents are away in Hawaii, and already threw DH a little party and gave him his gifts, so they're excused... but HIS parents didn't call, his sister didn't call... no extended relatives... no cards in the mail at all. Then we were supposed spend the afternoon with the ILs, and go out for dinner with them, but his mom had all these other plans with his sister and said she was really busy and didn't know when she'd be free. It made me so angry with both SIL and MIL.... honestly, it's his BIRTHDAY. Finally she was free for dinner (we cancelled our other plans with them), but it was already late and past DD's bedtime, so she was cranky which had me on edge. As soon as we sat down in the restaurant, she started melting down. I tried to distract her with toys, take her outside, etc, but her crying just got worse until she was near hysterical from being so tired. So, I had to leave and go home before getting to eat 
DH looked so disappointed when I asked for the keys *sigh*
Oh, and DH's been all excited because he asked his parents for a certain power tool for his birthday, one that he has wanted for a long time. Well, instead of the tool, his mom just handed him a bag from our local drug store instead. Inside was a box of licorice (DH HATES licorice) and a chocolate bar that was so melted that it bent in DH's hand when he picked it up - MIL apologized, saying she had picked it up this morning, but it was in the car all day while she was out with SIL. Arrrghh! It was such a last minute, thoughtless gift, and it made me so angry. She said she hadn't had time to do a card either. Usually the IL's aren't THIS bad... this is hitting all time lows. DH looked so hurt
Well, we just had some great birthday sex (TMI?? haha) so that helps, but DH is sort of disheartened this evening. The phone calls did start coming in a bit later, but it still looks like most people forgot. Including SIL, who was kind enough to preoccupy MIL so much today that she wasn't able to make it over to celebrate her son's birthday until way too late.
WTF??? I feel so bad for him. My parents did such a thoughtful party and gift for him, it totally puts his parents to shame.
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Re: Poor DH :( (vent-ish)
IDK, at some point in your life expecting gifts and celebration around your birthday seems awfully trivial and egotistical. Was he really expecting his parents to buy him a power tool for his birthday? Is he 14? He's a grown man!
I guess it's a shame that his expectations are way up there and his parents didn't mee them, but again....he's a grown man with a family of his own.
So they like asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said the power tool and they got him a candy bar? That's nuts!
Now, as far as the calling. etc. goes, I kind of agree with the other pp that as an adult you should expect less and less from your parents on your birthday. He has his own family and IMO that's who is responsible for making his birthday special...which it sounds like you did!
Well, aren't you fun.
It's one thing to expect a present when your parents haven't offered, but they TOLD him they were getting it for him, and that's why he was excited... Anyone would be disappointed to be told they'd be receiving a gift and then not get one.
SIL's birthday was three weeks ago (she's 4 years older, with a family of her own as well). The ILs organized a biggish party at their home. They didn't offer with DH, but said they'd take us out for dinner. Then they put it off all evening. Then they didn't pay, like they led us to believe they would - DH paid for their meals. That's pretty unfair, if you ask me. Things should be equal between your kids, even when they're older. We ARE adults, and it's not the end of the world obviously. We won't bring it up with them or anything like that, and that was the point of me venting. Just getting out my frustration with them.
I can assure you my husband is neither egotistical, nor does he concern himself with trivial things. I could tell he was a little down, but he assured me he had a wonderful birthday. I just felt bad, is all.
KateM - I know usually phone calls aren't as common as you get older, but in our family (DH's side) it really is. Everyone calls everyone, young and old, even second cousins, on their birthday. Christmas is spent almost entirely on the phone, haha. They're a close family, and since we take the time to call each of them on their special days, and since they usually call us too, it was just strange not to hear from them... But then some of them did call in the evening, and most of the rest of them called this morning since they were at a family wedding yesterday.
I am sorry. I guess I am egotistical and trivial but I love birth month (it is such a big deal around here that it is a whole month of celebrating) My family always made birthdays special so they are a big deal and I am carrying on that tradition with my DS.
So sorry his family let him down.
I am the same as the bolded. Birthdays are a big deal to me and worth celebrating. I do special things for H in the weeks leading up to his birthday and he does the same for me. I felt bad for MH on his birthday this year, and last actually because his car broke down 2 years in a row on his bday. Other than that though, I made it pretty special. I decorated the living room, ordered his favorite buffalo chicken pizza from pizza hut, and make him dark chocolate brownies (he doesn't like cake.)
I'm sorry your H's family let him down
There's nothing egotistical about expecting a gift you've already been told you're getting.
Your poor husband! Good for you for doing what you could to make it up to him
I had to laugh a little bit when I read this because my SIL gave DH and bag of twizzlers for his birthday last year. It was still in the plastic CVS bag and no card. We were like, wtf, who does that?? Especially because we had a family dinner at his parents' house where everyone else gave him actual gifts, so he opened this in front of everyone. We couldn't fathom how she wasn't embarrassed about such a lame attempt at gift giving. I never thought I'd hear that another person in the world would think that was acceptable LOL.
Glad to hear that you helped "make things better" at the end of the evening
The rest totally bites! (btw - next time make your part of the order "to go" for at the end and just have him bring it home for you - it's lessens the frustration level which is pretty high..It's what happened on my B-day this year)
We went to the "Birthday Month" too - DS/DD/DH all have their B-days during the peak of the busy season with DH's family's business so celebrating on the actual day, especially if it lands on a weekend night, is asking a lot for him to be able to take off.