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December 2011 Moms
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S/O No Gifts for Birthday Parties

sportsmommasportsmomma member
in December 2011 Moms

In a prior post someone mentioned they will be putting no gifts on the invite to their party. I have noticed this on many children's birthday party invitations lately, however everyone (or at least almost everyone) still brings a gift. I really don't care either way for DS's birthday if he is given a gift or not, but I know for me, that's part of the fun of attending a child's birthday party is watching them open gifts.

So my questions are:

1. Is it now expected to include "no gifts please" on invites? 

2. Is it tacky to have a child open presents during their party?

3. What are you planning to do for your LO's first bday if you are having a party?

I am definitely not gift grabby and don't want to appear so, but also think it's been awkward at the other parties I have attended where no gifts was requested but everyone brings them anyway and then it's weird for those who "followed the rules" and sort of sucks for the people who want to get the joy of watching LO "open" his presents. I know this is probably trivial, but I'm truly not sure what is best to do. 

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Re: S/O No Gifts for Birthday Parties

  • emilyerin13emilyerin13
    This is a great question and I'm interested to see what others have to say.  Would it be okay to request no gifts and say that any gifts received (for those who didn't "follow the rule") will be donated to a specific charity/program?  It might cut down on the gifts and any received will still be going to a good place to children who might not normally get gifts.  What about asking everyone to bring a book to donate by including that 'wording' on the invitation?   
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  • rockychryslerb2010rockychryslerb2010 member

    1 - I don't think it is expected.  We're planning to do it because our house is already looking like a daycare and I know he will be spoiled by grandparents and other relatives for birthday/Christmas, we just don't need all the extra stuff.

    2 - I think it depends on the situation - small family gathering no.  Larger gathering w/ more presents and kids, it might not be the best use of party time.  I can't imagine keeping lots of young kids interested in watching someone open a lot of presents.  At the first birthday party, I think it is cute to watch them first open / explore the wrapping paper, but that can get old after a few gifts, and it probably won't even entertain LO for that long.

    3 - We're having a party, but we're going to make it an open house.  I think we're doing a Winter ONEderland theme.  Our invite will say no gift, but we will be collecting for Toys for Tots, if they do want to bring a gift.  I'm not sure on the wording yet.  Our immediate family will be present for opening gifts (from us and most likely grandparents) and cake smashing, but the rest of the time will just be a chance to catch up with good friends and relatives.  We don't have a lot of kids who will be coming, so there really isn't a point to have kids games / activities. 

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  • sportsmommasportsmomma member
    imagerockychryslerb2010:

    1 - I don't think it is expected.  We're planning to do it because our house is already looking like a daycare and I know he will be spoiled by grandparents and other relatives for birthday/Christmas, we just don't need all the extra stuff.

    2 - I think it depends on the situation - small family gathering no.  Larger gathering w/ more presents and kids, it might not be the best use of party time.  I can't imagine keeping lots of young kids interested in watching someone open a lot of presents.  At the first birthday party, I think it is cute to watch them first open / explore the wrapping paper, but that can get old after a few gifts, and it probably won't even entertain LO for that long.

    3 - We're having a party, but we're going to make it an open house.  I think we're doing a Winter ONEderland theme.  Our invite will say no gift, but we will be collecting for Toys for Tots, if they do want to bring a gift.  I'm not sure on the wording yet.  Our immediate family will be present for opening gifts (from us and most likely grandparents) and cake smashing, but the rest of the time will just be a chance to catch up with good friends and relatives.  We don't have a lot of kids who will be coming, so there really isn't a point to have kids games / activities. 

    I LOVE this idea - we may have to copy! 

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  • alber2amalber2am member
    I think it is part of the fun to have the child open the gifts during the party.  For my son's party it will be small, just very close friends and close family, I will just send out an invite, if people want to bring a gift for him they can, if not I don't care and he won't either.  I haven't been to many kid parties so not sure if the "no gifts" is the norm now or not, if an invite said that then I wouldn't bring one.
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  • browneyedgoilbrowneyedgoil member

    i've never heard of "no gifts" before. i've heard of the opposite end of the spectrum of people registering for first birthday gifts lol. 

     

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  • CountingUpCountingUp
    We won't tell our guests what to do. They can bring whatever gifts, if any, for our daughter. If people would like suggestions we will offer some.

    As for the opening....we will likely have her tear into one gift for photo ops but we will play the rest by ear.
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  • RicolaRicola member
    How sad to not get any presents on your birthday! We probably won't have a party, since our families live far away, but if e did have a party, we'd have him open the presents while the guests are there.
    DS born 12/2011
    DD born 03/2014

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  • caseycritchleycaseycritchley member
    I think at one they cant open the gifts themselves so its a nice idea to say no gifts. A fun family friend get together is a great idea. I LOVE birthdays so a party is a must but the gifts being donated is a great idea
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  • CountingUpCountingUp

    imagecaseycritchley:
    I think at one they cant open the gifts themselves so its a nice idea to say no gifts.

    LO can rip into a gift bag like nobody's business. She owns the tissue paper!

    My problem is donating gifts is that I wouldn't ever want to be told where to donate to. If I want to think about a gift and give it - I want to be free to do that. I take care of my own charitable choices.

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  • asyph107asyph107 member

    I have never seen it. Maybe it's a regional thing...I would still always bring a present I love the moment the kid opens something they got for a gift it's so joyful! 

    As for ds2 going to have a family party with a few of our close friends invited some may not come because it's very near the holidays but 99% will, cake/ ice cream and yep I will have him open his presents. Him not ds1 or the other kids..I HATE that! My SIL always let's her son "help" her daughter open her presents because he gets all jealous well guess what life is not always fair but kids need to learn to be happy for each other and share later once things are opened. (sorry mini rant there )

    But yep we have always had ds1 open his gifts it's part of the fun. We also have him give hugs or high fives to everyone right after he opens each gift.  

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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    imageCountingUp:

    imagecaseycritchley:
    I think at one they cant open the gifts themselves so its a nice idea to say no gifts.

    LO can rip into a gift bag like nobody's business. She owns the tissue paper!

    My problem is donating gifts is that I wouldn't ever want to be told where to donate to. If I want to think about a gift and give it - I want to be free to do that. I take care of my own charitable choices.

    While after our experience while in the PICU with Toys for Tots would get me to consider having a toy drive at the party, I have to agree with the PP in that when it comes to charitable giving, I prefer to do that on my own without input/pressure from others unless I ask on a specific charity. 

    There are just very few circumstances that I'm comfortable even with the "no gifts please" or the "make a donation to your favorite charity" request on an invite...

     

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  • sportsmommasportsmomma member
    imageMesmrEwe:
    imageCountingUp:

    imagecaseycritchley:
    I think at one they cant open the gifts themselves so its a nice idea to say no gifts.

    LO can rip into a gift bag like nobody's business. She owns the tissue paper!


    My problem is donating gifts is that I wouldn't ever want to be told where to donate to. If I want to think about a gift and give it - I want to be free to do that. I take care of my own charitable choices.



    While after our experience while in the PICU with Toys for Tots would get me to consider having a toy drive at the party, I have to agree with the PP in that when it comes to charitable giving, I prefer to do that on my own without input/pressure from others unless I ask on a specific charity.&nbsp;


    There are just very few circumstances that I'm comfortable even with the "no gifts please" or the "make a donation to your favorite charity" request on an invite...


    &nbsp;


    Good point. I asked a few close family members their opinion after realizing this must be local/regional and they all preferred the invite not to say anything about gifts and people will do what they can/are comfortable with.
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  • Carrie3102Carrie3102 member
    imageBlueCards:
    imageMesmrEwe:
    imageCountingUp:

    imagecaseycritchley:
    I think at one they cant open the gifts themselves so its a nice idea to say no gifts.

    LO can rip into a gift bag like nobody's business. She owns the tissue paper!


    My problem is donating gifts is that I wouldn't ever want to be told where to donate to. If I want to think about a gift and give it - I want to be free to do that. I take care of my own charitable choices.



    While after our experience while in the PICU with Toys for Tots would get me to consider having a toy drive at the party, I have to agree with the PP in that when it comes to charitable giving, I prefer to do that on my own without input/pressure from others unless I ask on a specific charity.&nbsp;


    There are just very few circumstances that I'm comfortable even with the "no gifts please" or the "make a donation to your favorite charity" request on an invite...


    &nbsp;


    Good point. I asked a few close fam
    ily members their opinion after realizing this must be local/regional and they all preferred the invite not to say anything about gifts and people
    will do what they can/are comfortable
    with.


    I did the same, and came to the same conclusion. I just never wanted her biryhday to be all about gifts, dh's family is so materialistic it makes me sick. They include sizes and lists for what to buy in their invites it pisses me off.
    I just think it should be about being with those you love. Maybe
    because my family wasnt big on bday gifts and never from anyone but parents and grandparents

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  • teresajean01teresajean01
    Both invites we have gotten for first birthday parties have said "No gifts please."  I wouldn't have thought of it myself, but now I'm thinking we will probably do the same.  LO has tons of clothes and toys and her birthday is 4 days before Christmas.  She will like playing with friends and family more than toys anyway.
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