So I don't normally do these type of posts but I really needed to vent to someone. On Wednesday we went to my parent's house (we stayed the night there). My mother and I were in the kitchen (we were canning salsa), DH was in the living room on the couch with the lap top, he was watching DS. DS was playing on the floor with some toys, then came over the the couch and was getting ready to pull himself up on it. My parent's dog, a pitbull mix, was sleeping on the other end of the couch from DH. I looked over and saw DS was standing in the middle and saw the dog wake up. Just in time I yelled over at DH to grab DS, because then the dog growled, barked and snapped at DS. I came completely unglued, yelling at the dog then the dog was barking/snarling and growling at me. While my mom just stands there and says "Oh, I thought she was growling at your dog", and does absolutely nothing to punish the dog, DH made her go outside. I was so ticked at my mom for not even acknowleging that her dog just tried to bite my son. I tried to talk to her about it but that didn't really get me anywhere, they just love that stupid dog so much and she is NOT a good dog. She is aggressive, a few years ago she jumped up and bit at my 5 year old nephew her tooth just scratched his face luckily, she did the same thing to my husband's friend last winter. I have seen her snap at my cousin's 2 year old, I have seen her chase this same little girl while running and bite at her legs and knock her down. She is constantly biting at and growling at my dog. My parent's are just blind to her behavior, even though they have witnessed this, it's like they can't admit she is a bad dog. I told my mom after this incident that she is not to come to our house anymore when they visit and when we come visit she is to be outside or locked up in another bedroom. If she would have bit him, I would have insisted they get rid of her or better yet have her put down. It is only a matter of time until she bites someone and hurts them.
I did overhear her talking to my dad when I got home and telling him what happened and if she was going to start biting at DS they would have to give her to a pit bull rescue. I hope they consider it, it makes me a nervous wreck now to have them watch DS, I know they will keep him safe but they trust that dog too much and accidents happen.
I don't want you to think I am a dog hater, we have a chocolate lab who is as sweet as can be, DS plays with him all the time and they have a pretty good "friendship". I actually really love animals and most dogs.
And another vent......for the past 3-4 weeks DS has not been sleeping well. He goes down at 8-8:30pm and wakes at midnight and 3am and then 6-7am. He stays up for about an hour each time and wakes up every times you try to lay him down. It has been exhausting. Last night he was awake from 12-3am, I am so fortunate to have a DH that is so patient and willing to stay up with him so I can sleep. I feel awful because I can't even get excited about this pregnancy because I am so sleep deprived and stressed that DS's sleep will never get better and I will have a newborn and a toddler and niether will sleep.
Thanks for letting me vent, and for reading if you made it this far.
Re: my parents and their dog (Vent)
While I do not disagree that the pointing out of the pit thing was a bit unnecessary (any and all dogs can be vicious, I believe it is how they are trained), I do however disagree with your opinion.
Honestly, a dog should know (and mine does, doberman by the way
) that humans (Unless they are being abused by them) are superior. That a human should be able to walk up to a dog sleeping or not and pet that dog, not hurt it, but touch it none the less.
I can put my hand in my dog's bowl, so can my daughter. He knows that she is not trying to do him harm, and if she does cross a line she is shown the correct way, and he is praised for being a "good boy" and not lunging at her. A growl is ok, that's letting her know she is crossing a line, but he would never EVER snap at her, and if he did, he would know there were consequences to those actions. She would also be taught that she is to treat the dog with respect.
I do realize that she's only 9 months but training should start early for both animal and child.
Her parents' dog was in the wrong, and should have been disiplined. Humans are to play the role of pack leader. There is obviously some disconnect between that dog and the humans. The dog should never EVER be on the defensive with humans who are welcomed into the home. He should be on the defensive when strangers come to the home until they are welcomed in. But your logic is off thinking that the dog was not in the wrong. IMO.
OP, I would make it clear to your parents that your child will not be allowed to visit unsupervised unless the dog is properly trained.
I do not disagree, I never said it was the dog's fault, but the dog was in the wrong, and should have been disaplined, and if the owner had done so, I'd feel better about the situation, dogs (especially those who are not used to children have to be taught and have somewhat of a learning curve) and I did clearly state that it was an owner issue.
I agree with all of this. Some dogs just aren't good with children, regardless of breed. This particular dog sounds unpredictable at best, aggressive at worst. It's the dog owner's responsibility to correct the issue.
A rescue isn't going to take a dog that has a biting history.
Dogs growl, as others pointed out, when they feel threatened. My dog growls at me when I'm next to him while he's eating; I can put my hand in his bowl and he doesn't bite, but he does back up, sit down, and let out a low growl, letting me know that he is uncomfortable. He has growled at my son also when DS grabbed his ear; it's my responsibility as a pet owner though to keep them separate or very closely supervise their interactions, and if I can't, keep them separated. My dog, which happens to be a black lab, has also snapped at me when he has gotten angry with me.
Some dogs don't like kids. It doesn't matter what breed they are. Any breed can be agressive.
IMO you were a guest in that dog's home; it's your responsibility to respect that dog's space. I agree with what another person said about the dog being woken from its sleep... which is one of the times when a dog has the potential to be the most angry/agitated/aggressive.
Yeah, so, I never said it was the dogs fault. However, the dog was WRONG.
Was the dog wrong for barking or growling? NO, those are warnings, for SNAPPING however, the dog was WRONG. Snapping at a person is unacceptable behavior period. Apparently you did not read that part of the OP.
I did say it was an owner issue.
It is not unacceptable or unreasonable for that matter to expect a trained (this one is not, obviously) dog to know that humans are superior. And YES the dog should have been disiplined, the dog needs to LEARN that it is unacceptable to snap at a child, hence be trained in proper behavior. Which again, is the OWNER'S responsibility. Is the dog at fault for his actions... NO. Were those actions still wrong? ABSOLUTELY. Should the dog be disiplined, and taught proper behavior? You bet your sweet a*s it should.
I'm not saying the dog needs to be put down, he/she needs to be trained and disiplined when wrong, which probably means the owners need to be trained as well, because they are (you are correct here) 100% to blame for the dog's behavior.
Not sure why you think the dog shouldn't be taught proper behavior just because it wasn't his/her "fault". No one cares whose "fault" it is when the dog bites someone outside of the family, the dog will be destroyed, so I feel like regardless of whose "fault" it is, the dog should learn that it is not proper behavior.
Hopefully with proper training two things will happen: 1. the dog will never snap at another child, and 2. because of the now proper behavior, the dog will not have to be destroyed, because of a biting incident in the future.
Who the FUC* said beat the hell out of a dog? No one here. I said disipline. Do you know how to disipline a dog w/o hitting the dog? I do. I have a very well behaved dog who has never snapped at a child, oh and I've never beat him. I have however corrected his behavior. When necessary.
You didn't read the post. Growling, I have no problem with that... Barking, I have no problem with that, SNAPPING (which means lunging and biting at), that I have a problem with. The dog should have been disiplined. And you're an idiot if you think that means beating the dog. Beating a dog is not acceptable.
The owners need a lesson in dog training.
I really am not seeing much fault in the dog in this situation. Your child invaded her space and disturbed her while she was sleeping. I'm not sure why anyone--you, your husband, or your parents--allowed the baby to get anywhere close to a dog with known behavior issues. That doesn't make sense to me. I spend time with my mother's dog (who she inherited and has known behavior issues and who is a border collie mix, by the way so not classified as aggressive) and we all watch him like a hawk and make sure the baby stay away from him and/or keep them physically separated by a gate.
If you are concerned that your parents will not be responsible about the behavior of the dog, then I wouldn't leave my child with them. I wouldn't allow the dog to come to my house, and I wouldn't allow any circumstance in which I was not watching with my eyes glued, 100% of the time.
I have a mixed breed dog of unknown origin, though most assume he is a pit bull mix, who has been nothing but sweet to anyone and everyone. I've never even heard him growl in anything other than a play situation. I still don't trust him any more than I would trust another dog. He might tolerate the baby climbing on him and pulling on him and "petting" him, but he's still a dog at the end of the day. And any dog, regardless of breed, size, or temperament, can have a bad day. My dog and my baby interact happily, but I still supervise all interaction.
I understand your frustration with your parents and their dog, I really do, but I think that since the dog is a known quantity it is up to all of the adults involved to ensure that the baby has no contact with the dog, however that may happen--crate, gate, no visits, etc.
You are still not getting it. This dog you said has a history of snapping and yet your kid was in the dogs space correct? So who's fault is this?
I give up. You are not going to understand this.
I really don't need a lesson from you on how to train a dog. My dog is well behaved growls at strangers, and my daughter, if she is making him uncomfortable, I have never taught him not to growl, or bark. I have taught him not to snap at people unless they are approaching us in a threatening manner (he's been trained as a guard dog).
You most certainly teach dogs not to snap at people unless said people are approaching in a threatening manner, you teach a dog the difference between threatening behavior and non threatening behavior. You don't give dogs enough credit.
HAHAHA!!! Not my family not my dog. I'm not the OP... I made a comment, plain and simple. I am saying the owners, and the dogs need lessons.
Actually its no one I know's fault at all I'm not a part of it.
I give up you're never going to get this.
Whatever works for you.
I had mine trained by the people who train police dogs (my uncle was a cop). He's awesome, and I am glad you're dog is awesome too. I have no worries, my dog is still a dog, and protects our home, and family. I just also know when he's in the presence of children he will act accordingly.
There is no one way to do it, and if it works for you great. I just think it's funny how snarky you got with me just because your views are different. But whatever. Have a good weekend! Happy Friday.
Ooo caps lock. This is serious now.
I can understand you being upset that your parents don't seem concerned about the dog and your child, because they should. I have a lab (obviously!). They are very well known for being awesome family dogs, good with children, and very loving as you know. We prepared him for several months the best we could to have a baby in the house and he's always done really, really well.
That being said, the dog does get frightened sometimes when anyone sneaks up on him when he is asleep- especially if he is in a deep sleep. We will also teach our son to NEVER take anything away from the dog. When the dog and baby are in the same room and the baby is able to be mobile, we give our full attention to the situation. Your DH did not and that was a mistake. Was this dog prepared in any way to be around a mobile baby? You knew about his history and you still let your baby near the dog. I don't see how it's the dog's fault.
This is not a dog problem, it's an owner problem. Not a bad dog, bad owners. The dog needs help, not to be given away or put down. That really makes me sad that someone would do that.
I hope you dont think I was attacking you. I would have been furious at how the situation was handled too. I was not teying to come off that way. I thonk you are right to be upset.
Your parents need to work on training.
Hi C!!!! Strange seeing you around these parts
You are rude. She is not a dumbass she should be able to vent, her parents should train their dog better. Sounds like the baby was being watched the baby didnt get bit. She is upset because her parents are bad dog owners and she should be. That's dangerous for all involved including the dog.
Kind of scared to agree with your outrage here based on the responses you got, but I would have responded very similarly. My ILs adopted a dog while I was pregnant and the poor thing is just a nightmare from a behavioral standpoint. Unfortunately, my ILs are lazy and never (I mean LITERALLY never) walk him and always talk about taking him somewhere to get trained, but don't do it and don't do any training of their own. He's a big dog - probably 100 lbs and jumps on everyone and nips at everyone and everything including their other older dog, a sweet and shy 11 year old Golden Retriever (I feel so bad for their other pup - he does NOTHING, just lies there and this new dog has bitten him to where he bleeds
). Anyways, based on this behavior, and their inability to train the dog, we have decided DS cannot be over there with the dog until he is trained. I know it's not the dog's fault, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm afraid he will jump on someone holding my son and knock them over or bite me, my husband, or worst of all, my son. In typical fashion, my ILs do not train him, nor do they even just put him outside in their fenced yard when we come over but force him to go into his pen in the middle of the action and scream at him and hit his pen when he barks/whines. I feel so bad for the dog, but not bad enough to allow him to endanger my family. Soooo, long story short, I would have reacted the exact same way in that my ILs would need to do SOMETHING with the dog if they want us to have DS around him. I'd prefer they train him, but if they are unwilling to do that, finding him a more suitable home where he will get the proper training and exercise he needs is probably best for everyone.
REALLY!? You are a PEACH! She isn't dumb, and that is a ridiculous and childish comment.
OP, I don't blame you for feeling this way. I would definitely be keeping the dog away from LO from now on.